Conscious decisions made as the result of real conversations lead to better outcomes.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a boss and worker, colleagues, friends, parent and child, romantic liaison, or a marriage.

Relationships are the result of two people interacting together.

Relationships can be over in an instant or last a lifetime, but those that last longest have one thing in common.

Communication.

Decisions are founded on the ability to communicate

Call it the difference between just happening and intentional decisions.

New research shows that how thoughtfully couples make decisions can have a lasting effect on the quality of their romantic relationships. (…) “Making decisions and talking things through with partners is important,” said Galena K. Rhoades, a relationship researcher at the University of Denver and co-author of the report. “When you make an intentional decision, you are more likely to follow through on that.”

Although the research described in the article is focused on marriages, it can be applied just as well to the workplace.

In short, creating strong relationships, at work or away, requires the kind of good communications that lead to intentional decisions.

And it all starts by knowing yourself.

“At the individual level, know who you are and what you are about, and make decisions when it counts rather than letting things slide,” Dr. Stanley said. “Once you are a couple, do the same thing in terms of how you approach major transitions in your relationship.”

Try it; I believe you’ll find that the results make it worth the time and effort.

Flickr image credit: Katy Ereira

A Friday series exploring Startups and the people who make them go. Read all If the Shoe Fits posts here

I probably sound cynical, but I do get tired of listening to founders talk about the openness, honesty and authenticity of their culture even as they go to great lengths to protect their salary and stock grant information, hiring criteria and customer interaction information.

Discussing salaries and/or stock grants is grounds for termination in many companies

Google is notorious for killing blogs on Blogger with no warning and no explanation except that they violated the TOS, but offering no specific information as to what the violation was or responding to the blog owner’s queries.

If you choose to talk the openness approach, then you should read up on a CEO who truly walks it.

In a post on Buffer’s Open blog, CEO Joel Gascoigne reveals his salary along with the salary of every single employee in the company, and includes the formula the company uses to get to each one.

Image credit: HikingArtist

A Friday series exploring Startups and the people who make them go. Read all If the Shoe Fits posts here

A few days ago I was asked if it was OK to warn a startup team by email that it was doubtful funding would happen before the money ran out.

My response was ‘absolutely not!’

The final word from a variety of experts is that it is not OK to fire, lay-off, break up, ask for a divorce, ground kids or any similar action by email, text or even by phone.

These are all subjects that must be done face-to-face for a variety of reasons, but all falling under one of the falling categories,

• Respect
• Trust
• Authenticity
• Transparency
• Fairness

The list goes on, but I’m sure you get it.

That said, I thought I’d repost a slightly edited how-to for dealing with bad news that is as applicable today as it was when hard-copy memos, wires, carrier pigeons and smoke signals were the normal modes of communication.

Bosses know when they’re in trouble (duh), but they still seem to think that their people don’t know the facts (double duh).

Too many bosses, from startups through Fortune 100 and everything in-between, clamp down, say nothing, run scared, freeze, bluster, or some combination thereof and do it by email and/or text.

The result is management by rumor, which once started never ends.

The way to deal with bad news is directly, openly and honestly.

Even when the subject is no funding or lay-offs this axiom applies; in fact, it’s the only approach that gives your company or your reputation a chance of emerging intact.

Here are six basics to keep uppermost in your mind—whether they are comfortable or not.

1. Bad news must be communicated in person—just like good news.
2. Employees aren’t dumb—they know something bad is happening—and if they’re not explicitly told what it is, rumors will make any difficulty a catastrophe and a catastrophe a death knell.
3. Management must be explicit about the ultimate potential consequences. In a situation that’s unfolding, such as a funding or economic crisis, when no one knows the ultimate outcome or can predict when it will change, frequent updates are effective.
4. Everyone hates uncertainty, which is all you may have to offer, so analyzing and then explaining the worst case outcome as well as what you’re doing to counter it and how your people can contribute goes a long way to stabilizing the team and gaining their buy-in to your plans.
5. Successful plans are dependent on how well they are communicated, which is what determines employee buy-in; if you choose the delusional approach of minimizing the situation then you should expect minimal results and maximum disruption.
6. Share the outcome of your thinking, whatever it is—layoffs, plant closures, project cancellations, etc. If you don’t trust your people with the information your problems are far more serious than you realize.

Any solution to a crisis must be seen as fair, reasonable, and businesslike. If management’s reaction is illogical, petty, slipshod, unrealistic, draconian or any combination of these, then it’s likely employees will conclude the ship is about to sink and leap off.

People understand that difficult situations demand difficult remedies, and they appreciate that management must at times step up to harsh challenges. But if solutions are irrationally or whimsically applied, they become a demoralizing factor, increasing the difficulties that people encounter in trying to do their jobs.

Finally, you should always attempt to find a positive note to leave with employees. Everyone already knows that things are bad; it’s your job to find a potentially favorable course of action.

Just remember, you hired your people for their brains, so don’t expect them to suddenly go dumb. Employees easily spot propaganda masquerading as a solution.

Predicting an impossibly favorable outcome not only demeans your reputation, but also could affect your future entrepreneurial efforts.

Image credit: HikingArtist

When you want to create change, whether of culture, process or something else, there are seven steps you need to follow whether you are CEO or a first line supervisor,

1. Know who you are: This step is strictly between you and yourself, so you need to be brutally frank as to your attitudes, motivation, what’s important, what’s OK to do, etc., if you want to create authentic change.
2. Define your goals: Whatever change you want to effect needs to be well-defined and make sense to those affected.
3. Know what you have: Honestly assess (warts and all) whatever it is you want to change.
4. Be aware of the cost of change: Every/any action has a price and change is no different, so it is important to be sure the improvement/ROI is worth the cost.
5. Don’t assume: The human race functions to a great extent on various sets of unconscious assumptions. In the workplace people tend to assume that people with similar educations, experience levels, positions, etc., have similar mindsets, attitudes and philosophies. Predicating acceptance of change on the assumption of deep, unproven commonality is a recipe for disaster.
6. Don’t overwhelm the troops: Whatever the target and goal of the change recognize that you can’t just come in, make an announcement, and expect people to buy into the vision. Present it in small bite-size pieces and such a way that people feel they have input in the process, which creates a feeling of ownership.
7. Communicate and sell—don’t order and tell: No matter how positive the goal of the change you can’t just walk in on Monday and announce the new whatever and expect people to cooperate for understandable three reasons.
   1. It’s unlikely that anybody will believe you (talk’s cheap);
   2. if you’re new it’s unlikely they’ll trust you (no track record with them);
   3. whether you’re proposing a radical change or just tweaking something, generally speaking, people hate change and need a compelling reason to get on the bandwagon.

In the final analysis what you do carries far more weight than anything you say, so be sure you have the courage to walk your talk.

Flickr image credit: Jannes Pockele

Did you know ‘communications’ are like the Force, with both a light and dark side?

Communications may be used to engage, enlighten and clarify.

Communications may be used to confuse, coerce and obfuscate.

I usually write about the light side of communications.

Dark-side communications are what brought the economy down and are still popular, most recently at JP Morgan.

Consider the following presentation written by Bruno Iksil, the whale himself, on Jan. 26, 2012, as the losses were growing. He called for executing “the trades that make sense.”
He proposed to “sell the forward spread and buy protection on the tightening move,” “use indices and add to existing position,” “go long risk on some belly tranches especially where defaults may realize” and “buy protection on HY and Xover in rallies and turn the position over to monetize volatility.”

Confusing? Don’t feel alone; that was the finding of the Senate investigation report.

“This proposal encompassed multiple, complex credit trading strategies, using jargon that even the relevant actors and regulators could not understand.”

Companies of all sizes have a responsibility to communicate so their customers understand.

Bosses have a responsibility to communicate in ways their people understand.

Not that you’d know it listening to them or reading the content they produce—it’s full of jargon and jargon is the bane of clarity.

So which side are you on—light or dark?

By the way, that choice carries into your personal life in the way you choose to communicate with your family, friends, pets and all other constant or random interactions with anything that breathes.

Flickr image credit: Marina Avila

Has tuit culture invaded your team’s culture?

Has it seeped into your personal culture and infected your values?

Tuit culture is insidious; it usually starts with small inconsequential stuff and then quietly spreads.

If not dealt with immediately it can delay projects, impact vendors, damage customer relationships, substantially increase turnover, especially among your best and brightest, and ruin your street rep.

Are you familiar with the warning signs, so you can take action before tuit culture takes root?

Be warned if you notice any of the following:

• Small tasks aren’t done on time or just aren’t done.
• One or more of your team are slow to respond to requests.
• Individuals and teams find ways of bypassing one or more of its members or bosses.

The best antidotes to tuit culture are vigilance, awareness (both group and self), transparency and open communications.

Beware the Round Tuit

Image credit: RampUp Solutions

You founded your company on a vision; a vision of how your product/service would change the world.

Your vision attracted people; people who can turn your vision into reality.

If that doesn’t happen it’s on you.

If you share, explain and clarify your vision, listen to input from all sources as you refine it and keep it flexible you’ll be a long way to succeeding.

But if you proclaim your vision, hoard the details and adhere to it come what may you’ll shoot yourself (and your investors) in the foot.

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The research findings of Frederick Reichheld, founder of Bain & Company’s Loyalty Practice and author of Loyalty Rules! and other loyalty books, showed that a 5% improvement in employee retention translates to a 25%-100% gain in earnings.

For decades I’ve said that people who join a company for money will leave for more money, but those who join for the culture will usually stay as long as the culture is synergistic with their own values.

So when you set out to build a great working environment which comes first, culture or communication?

It’s a good question; one that seems similar to the chicken and the egg.

Without a culture that insists on, and supports, open, honest, complete communication it’s unlikely that people will indulge in it, but it takes that kind of communication to create and implement that kind of culture.

Which really comes first, culture or communications—or is it a conundrum? For that matter, who cares?

The answer is neither.

What does come first is the founder/CEO/department head/etc’s MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™). Because it’s what’s in your head that sets the culture and defines the kind of communications the your organization will have.

The way you communicate is a mindset, grounded in your attitude towards others, which, in turn, is based on your personal philosophy.

MAP is learned, not innate, it changes, either passively, through the influence of those around you, or dynamically, in ways that you consciously choose.

Good MAP, like good culture, is (in no particular order) authentic, positive, open, flexible, honest, secure,  interested, enthusiastic, patient, sincere, trusting, encouraging, caring and loves creativity (its own or others).

MAP is everywhere and affects everything—which is why salespeople who understand their customers’ MAP sell more.

Managers are more successful when they understand their people’s MAP.

It’s to your advantage to understand your colleagues’ MAP, no matter your position or theirs.

Managers and candidates should understand each others’ MAP to be sure, at the least, they are synergistic.

While understanding other people’s MAP is important, it is absolutely vital is to understand your own.

Not only understand, but accept that while you can change your own MAP you cannot change theirs.

Flickr image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/zedbee/103147140/

Social media; stories about it are everywhere, but I find the most interesting are about what companies are doing and how its being used.

Let’s start with Twitter. Everybody has heard of Twitter, even people who have no idea what it is talk about it—like my friend’s great-granny. But it’s their smarts in innovation that is most impressive—they outsource it.

Twitter’s smart enough, or lucky enough, to say, ‘Gee, let’s not try to compete with our users in designing this stuff, let’s outsource design to them.’ –Eric von Hippel, head of the innovation and entrepreneurship group at the Sloan School of Management at M.I.T.

If you run a business these days you’re probably using Facebook or thinking about it—I know I am. So I found this article in the NY Times of great interest, especially since it’s written for folks, not pros.

You need to be where your customers are and your prospective customers are, and with 300 million people on Facebook, and still growing, that’s increasingly where your audience is for a lot of products and services. –Clara Shih, author of “The Facebook Era” (Pearson Education, 2009).

Do you know the key ingredient that helps police nab the bad guys? Stupidity—theirs. It used to be that they flashed their loot around and bragged to their friends, not they flash their loot and brag on Facebook.

Maxi Sopo thought he had made an excellent decision when he ran away to Cancun to escape a Seattle fraud prosecution. He also thought it would be a great idea to add a former Justice Department official as a friend and gush about his exploits on Facebook.

I love it when stupid gets stupider.

Last is an item that falls in the smart or stupid category—you decide. It asks the question; at what point does a CEO’s Facebook sharing cross the boundary to TMI (too much information)?

Recently Chip Conley, CEO of Joie de Vivre, a $230 million company with more than 3,000 employees, got enmeshed in a bit of a 2009 corporate culture snafu. Conley’s not your average Harvard MBA pinstriped buttoned-down corporate chieftan. He’s an entrepreneur. He writes his own rules. So to him, it wasn’t so strange to post some pictures of himself at the Burning Man whatever-it-is in the dessert on his Facebook fan page. Or to tweet on Twitter about the demise of his 8 year long relationship.

When his employees got upset he wrote about it on BNET. Read both articles and share your thoughts in comments.

Your comments—priceless

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Image credit:  nono farahshila on flickr