Poking through 14+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.

Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.

I used to have a feature called Quotable Quotes and may bring it back. Bertrand Russell, 1872 – 1970,  (use the link if you aren’t familiar with him; it is a good use of your time) spoke on many subjects. Considering current societal upheaval and forces at work today, it seems like a good time to review his comments on fear. I find them extremely timely, probably even more so than when they were written.

Read other Golden Oldies here.

Most of us live with one kind of fear or another, although few of us admit it. Fear often masquerades as something else—envy, arrogance, failure, success—to name just a few. Bertrand Russell provides interesting commentary on fear in it’s many guises.

“Fear makes man unwise in the three great departments of human conduct: his dealings with nature, his dealings with other men, and his dealings with himself.” This explains much of what’s going on in the world today.

Fear not only paralyzes us it builds in our minds until it’s many times its original size; as Russell points out, “Until you have admitted your own fears to yourself, and have guarded yourself by a difficult effort of will against their myth-making power, you cannot hope to think truly about many matters of great importance . . .” I would add that ‘of great importance’ doesn’t necessarily mean global in scope or world-changing—unless you mean your own little corner of the world.

These days superstition is rampant and cruelty—physical, mental and spiritual—abounds in epic proportions at every level of human interaction. It’s worse now than ever before because technology has shrunk the world, given a louder voice to these evils and muted what wisdom is available. Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom . . .

Envy is another form of fear; fear that someone has more, but as Russell points out there is always someone with more… “Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.”

Fear feeds off fear and can be overwhelming. Fear of technology is usually well masked, but it can be substantially diluted if you remember that technology is finite, while humans deal in the infinite. There will still be things that machines cannot do. They will not produce great art or great literature or great philosophy; they will not be able to discover the secret springs of happiness in the human heart; they will know nothing of love and friendship.”

Fear drives ideology, ideology preempts thought and not thinking kills or, as Russell said, “Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.”

Russell didn’t name it, but he had a wonderful take on ideology, “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.”

Image credit: Wikipedia

I only have time for a quick note before my plane lands, but I wanted to share two quotes that have helped me keep going in rough times.

The first is something we all know from our own experience, but it always helps to hear it from “names” who have already pushed through and succeeded.

Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes it’s built on catastrophe. — Sumner Redstone

The second is something that every entrepreneur will swear to, although it would be nice to have summer vacation as we did while actually in school.

There is no education like adversity. –Benjamin Disraeli

Judging from these words of wisdom, I will be phenomenally well educated by the time Quarrio is a huge success.

Plane’s landing; back to work.

Words can provide encouragement and add value—or do the opposite. Listen carefully beyond the surface of a person’s words and you will know that person’s heart and even their soul.

There is no attribution, but every manager and thinking person knows the truth of this comment, “A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.”

Answers aren’t always the best use of words as Naguib Mahfouz reminds us, “You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.”

There’s an old saying that goes “open mouth insert foot,” but Lawrence J. Peter says it far more elegantly, “Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret.”

Those who spend (waste?) time trying to refute the myriad of lies found in modern media would do well to remember the words of William McAdoo, “It is impossible to defeat an ignorant person in an argument.”

Listening to the politicians, pundits and corporate titans always reminds me of this old Chinese proverb, “The longer the explanation, the bigger the lie.”

And I think I’ll let the words of Jimi Hendrix round out today’s thoughts; “Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.” Can’t say it more clearly than that.

Image credit: Jon Assink

The people who pay me to write do so because I have the skill of brevity. Writing is an art and artists are quick to cite those who most influenced their talent. I’m no different and Pauline Phillips, AKA Abigail Van Buren, AKA Dear Abby, who died Wednesday, was a huge influence growing up. I read her every day and her skill creating pithy, answers that said it all in very few words. Although often irreverent her answers were still empathetic and never hurtful or sarcastic. She impressed me no end and I’ve done my best to absorb it into my own style, although I’m not nearly as good at it.

A favorite I couldn’t find was in response to a 32 year old woman who wondered if it was too late to become a doctor, because it takes 10 years and she would be 43 by the time she was licensed. Abby’s response? Yes, it would take 10 years, and yes, she would be 43, however, in 10 years she would be 43 no matter what she did.

Here are some others that I was able to find.

Dear Abby: Our son married a girl when he was in the service. They were married in February and she had an 8½-pound baby girl in August. She said the baby was premature. Can an 8½-pound baby be this premature?— Wanting to Know
Dear Wanting: The baby was on time. The wedding was late. Forget it.

Dear Abby: A woman who was married for 46 years wrote a long story about how hard her husband was to live with. She asked you whether she should choose divorce or suicide. You told her divorce was preferable. Are you married to a divorce lawyer, Abby?” — Nosy ”
Dear Nosy: No. Are you married to an undertaker?”

Dear Abby: My wife sleeps in the raw. Then she showers, brushes her teeth and fixes our breakfast — still in the buff. We’re newlyweds and there are just the two of us, so I suppose there’s really nothing wrong with it. What do you think? — Ed
Dear Ed: It’s O.K. with me. But tell her to put on an apron when she’s frying bacon.

Dear Abby: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Have you any suggestions? — M. J. B. in Oakland, Calif.
Dear M. J. B.: Yes. Run for a public office.

And as someone who lived with her gay friends on Nob Hill 30-odd years ago this is my all time favorite.

Dear Abby: Two men who claim to be father and adopted son just bought an old mansion across the street and fixed it up. We notice a very suspicious mixture of company coming and going at all hours — blacks, whites, Orientals, women who look like men and men who look like women. This has always been considered one of the finest sections of San Francisco, and these weirdos are giving it a bad name. How can we improve the neighborhood? — Nob Hill Residents
Dear Residents: You could move.

Finally, a short interview between Larry King and Dear Abby.

Image credit: CNN

I love aphorisms and last summer I shared some with you. It was fun to do, so I thought I’d do it again. For those of you who don’t know, aphorisms are a bit of accepted wisdom or observations recognized by the general population as being true. The previous examples were ones I grew up with; today I share more modern ones.

War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left. The world would be a better place if its so-called leaders would get this through their thick skulls.

When everything’s coming your way—you’re in the wrong lane. Notice it says ‘coming’ not ‘going’. When everything’s going your way buy some champagne, grab your friends and celebrate.

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job. The same thing applies to every other animal including human.

The last three are my favorites; the first two are a clever nod to the digital world and the last, to my mind, says it all.

The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. Just ask the USPS.

Home is where you hang your @ Well, I said they were clever.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. No kidding. You can find 535 without even trying—435 in the House and another 100 in the Senate.

Flickr image credit: Luke Razzell

At the start of 2012 we considered the futility of New Year resolutions; this year I thought we’d look at change, since any resolution requires it.

According to Francis Bacon, “Things alter for the worse spontaneously, if they be not altered for the better designedly.”

Arnold Bennett said, “Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.”

Anatole France elaborated on that thought, “All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.”

That said, it is still wise to heed the words of Ellen Glasgow, “All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.”

Maya Angelou captured the idea of what to change in a nutshell when she said, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

Wise words and very true, but as Leo Tolstoy points out, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

Change is a necessary part of growth, but I disagree with what Winston Churchill said, “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” No matter how much or how often you change you will never be perfect.

One more very important point—share your changes; as Lillian Hellman reminds us, “People change and forget to tell each other.”

In ending, and since the New Year is almost upon us, let me propose a toast, “Here’s to positive change in 2013.

Flickr image credit: Hakee Chang

‘Tis the season to reflect and consider better motivation and actions, so I thought I’d share some good info for you to add to whatever you’re cooking up.

This great advice was a tweet from Drake.

Live without pretending
Love without depending
Listen without defending
Speak without offending

(Hat tip to Dmitry Vergeles, CEO, Solveig Multimedia for sharing the quote.)

There’s way too much ‘I’ in the world today; most everything improves when you replace ‘I’ with ‘we’, as shown in this anonymous meme shows.

When ‘I’ is replaced by ‘we’
Even ‘illness’ becomes ‘wellness’.

During a conversation, someone asked me why I thought the term ‘friend’ had lost its meaning. I responded that today’s definition didn’t match what I called friends. They said “what’s the difference?” Here is what I said.

Friends who have time vs. friends who make time.
Friends who click to like vs. friends who act to like.
Friends who share vs. friends who care.

Finally, in case you’re wondering what I did about last night’s burn, I put crushed, raw onion on it (number 7 at My Home Remedies:) and it was immediately fine. I also added more onion on a light bit of cotton, wrapped it with plastic wrap and put a piece of Scotch tape around it. I wrote Saturday’s blog and it stayed on all night. No pain, no problems since.

How about that.

Image credit: Alexandre Dulaunoy

Shopping may not be exactly the kind of subject matter you expect when you visit, but you have to admit it’s timely.

Although not everybody loves it, “I hate shopping. If I need something, even a pair of socks, my assistant has to get them for me. I hate shopping!” The quote is anonymous, but it could be my sister, except she doesn’t have an assistant.

Shopping serves many purposes.

Tammy Faye Bakker, she of the four-inch false eyelashes, thinks shopping is therapeutic, “I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.”

I’ve seen many comparisons of shopping and sex, but Adrienne Gusoff’s is one of the funniest, “Shopping is better than sex. If you’re not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like.”

Shopping is different for women and men as pointed out by Elayne Boosler, “When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.”

I think men should learn to eat or go shopping, but as Cynthia Nelms so wisely says, “If men liked shopping, they’d call it research.”  That’s OK, research beats war any day.

Then there is Usher, who is either more introspective or more honest than most men, “I was so nervous…I just had to go shopping”

And with just nine more shopping days nervous is what a lot of you probably are, so go shopping.

Image credit: Charlie Brewer

December is a time when many people think about what they should have done, what they did and what they could do better. That said, here are some suggestions that may resonate with you.

Let’s start with George Will’s attitude, which is the not only the best, but the first and most important thing to remember about people, “It’s extraordinary how extraodinary the ordinary person is.”

According to Richard L. Evans,  “Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them.” I say that is equally true for every person you will ever meet, so cherish everyone, until they prove unworthy (instead of the opposite).

Live by the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

And as you do so remember also the words of Proust, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

Live by the proverb “A good listener is a silent flatterer.”

Follow the advice of Dee Hock, “Clean out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it.”

And above all embrace the words of Rumi, “Be a lamp, a lifeboat or a ladder.” Better yet, be all three—as needed.

Flickr image credit: Sean MacEntee

Zig Ziglar, for 40 years one of the best know motivational speakers, died last week. He left behind thousands of inspired people and, based on the value and profusion of his sound bites, there will be thousands more in the future. Here are a few of my favorites and you can find many more here.

If you want to live a happy successful life, the first thing you need to grasp is, “Every choice you make has an end result.”

You need to make your choice based on who you are and what you know at that moment then “Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.”

It’s also true that, “Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale.” Keep in mind that too much oxygen isn’t necessarily beneficial.

Everybody’s heard that success is the result of hard work, but I like Ziglar’s way of saying it best, “Success is dependent upon the glands – sweat glands.”

A good dose of optimism is always useful and, again, Ziglar provides a better definition than most, “An optimist is someone who goes after Moby Dick in a rowboat and takes the tartar sauce with him.”

What I really get a kick out of are how apropos his comments on marriage are when applied to management.

For example, “Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side,” so would the different departments and teams in most companies.

And if you want a few telling words on how to manage the persons on your team, consider changing the fifth word in this comment, “If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you’ll never end up with a nag”

Finally, considering we just finished with a really nasty election (at all levels); I couldn’t resist these two gems.

The first seems to fit all the ideologues that ran for office, “Little men with little minds and little imaginations go through life in little ruts, smugly resisting all changes which would jar their little worlds.”

And the second seems to fit a larger percentage of the population each year, “A narrow mind and a fat head invariably come on the same person”

Image credit: Wikimedia Commons