Here we are on December 26. Christmas is over and the focus turns to next week and the start of 2013.

To that end I thought I’d share these words of wisdom from Sara Paddison.

Realize that now, in this moment of time, you are creating.
You are creating your next moment.
That is what’s real.

I do my best to live by them, although I don’t always succeed as well as I would like, which is why I hold tightly to these wise words, too.

It’s about progress, not perfection.

Flickr image credit: Richard Potts

Over the years some people take my expanding box idea and try and tell me that the boxes are actually replaced, not expanded as I described yesterday.

I (respectfully) tell them they are wrong.

It isn’t about replacement or creating boxes within boxes, it’s about expansion.

Everything that existed in the old box continues to exist, but new dimensions are added, because the box is larger.

And it especially isn’t about ‘using up’ what’s in your box before you can expand it; it’s about choosing to explore beyond what’s known and/or comfortable—or not.

We all push our boundaries organically as we age; it happens through experience and just plain living—and we’re not even conscious of doing it.

Some folks enjoy consciously pushing back boundaries in evolutionary ways, exploring new areas a bit at a time.

Others take a revolutionary approach and willingly leap into the unknown, not knowing where they will land or if they’ll survive. Very scary—but the unknown has always been scary.

Most of us combine all three types, organic, evolutionary and revolutionary, with ascendancy changing depending on what’s happening in our world—as well as the larger world.

What needs to be understood is that the person who leaps into the unknown is not intrinsically more valuable than the person whose box enlarges organically through their own life experiences or the ones whose boxes increase incrementally through conscious, measured efforts.

All three types, along with their varied, changing combinations, are necessary for life and for Life to continue on our planet.

Look at any list of great innovators from the past and then think of all the people who enhanced/changed/added to the original ideas; then add on all the lives involved, one way or another, with these ideas.

All the contributions have value within their own world—what is different is the size of each innovator’s world and since society tends to equate size to value—the bigger the greater the worth.

Not all of us want to/can change the world, but each of us can take care of/improve our little bit of it.

As for me, I’d hate to live in a world where all the little bits were a mess because everybody was out changing the whole.

Flickr image credit: Leonora Enking

December is a time when many people think about what they should have done, what they did and what they could do better. That said, here are some suggestions that may resonate with you.

Let’s start with George Will’s attitude, which is the not only the best, but the first and most important thing to remember about people, “It’s extraordinary how extraodinary the ordinary person is.”

According to Richard L. Evans,  “Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them.” I say that is equally true for every person you will ever meet, so cherish everyone, until they prove unworthy (instead of the opposite).

Live by the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

And as you do so remember also the words of Proust, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

Live by the proverb “A good listener is a silent flatterer.”

Follow the advice of Dee Hock, “Clean out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it.”

And above all embrace the words of Rumi, “Be a lamp, a lifeboat or a ladder.” Better yet, be all three—as needed.

Flickr image credit: Sean MacEntee

Zig Ziglar, for 40 years one of the best know motivational speakers, died last week. He left behind thousands of inspired people and, based on the value and profusion of his sound bites, there will be thousands more in the future. Here are a few of my favorites and you can find many more here.

If you want to live a happy successful life, the first thing you need to grasp is, “Every choice you make has an end result.”

You need to make your choice based on who you are and what you know at that moment then “Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.”

It’s also true that, “Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale.” Keep in mind that too much oxygen isn’t necessarily beneficial.

Everybody’s heard that success is the result of hard work, but I like Ziglar’s way of saying it best, “Success is dependent upon the glands – sweat glands.”

A good dose of optimism is always useful and, again, Ziglar provides a better definition than most, “An optimist is someone who goes after Moby Dick in a rowboat and takes the tartar sauce with him.”

What I really get a kick out of are how apropos his comments on marriage are when applied to management.

For example, “Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side,” so would the different departments and teams in most companies.

And if you want a few telling words on how to manage the persons on your team, consider changing the fifth word in this comment, “If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you’ll never end up with a nag”

Finally, considering we just finished with a really nasty election (at all levels); I couldn’t resist these two gems.

The first seems to fit all the ideologues that ran for office, “Little men with little minds and little imaginations go through life in little ruts, smugly resisting all changes which would jar their little worlds.”

And the second seems to fit a larger percentage of the population each year, “A narrow mind and a fat head invariably come on the same person”

Image credit: Wikimedia Commons

I’m writing this long before election results are in, but it doesn’t matter. I can guarantee, without a doubt, that some of you are very happy campers and the rest of you are POed, angry, upset, depressed or scared.

No matter which, I suggest that you focus instead on your personal ikigai—your reason for being. Or, as is said on Okinawa, “a reason to get up in the morning”, that is, a reason to enjoy life.

Few Americans are willing to invest the time to get to know themselves well enough to identify their real ikigai, so they substitute all kinds of prefab things to give meaning to their lives.

Politics. Religion. Work. Followers. “Friends.” Klout score.

All of which are prone to failure as a reason to get out of bed, because they are external as opposed to internal.

In other words, they were created by others.

To possess a strong, stable ikigai you must come to it from deep self-knowledge.

Even if it includes one or more of the above elements you need to know why it/they are included.

If you do invest the time and effort to truly identify your own personal ikigai you really will live a happier, more satisfying and satisfactory life.

It’s guaranteed.

Flickr image credit: The Shopping Sherpa

There is an Indian saying that a journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step, but as Anonymous reminds us, “If you don’t start you won’t arrive.”

You will travel further if you follow Alan McGinnis’ advice, “Focus on your potential instead of your limitations.”

Life is a long journey during which it is good to remember the words of Arthur Koestler, “Courage is to never let your actions be influenced by your fears.”

Years ago Dear Abby responded to a reader in her mid thirties who had come into enough money to follow a dream and become a doctor. Friends were discouraging her because by the time she finished her residency she would be in her mid-forties and she asked what Abby thought. I’ve never forgotten the answer; Abby said that while it was true she would be in her forties when she became a doctor in ten years she would be in her forties no matter what she did. A shorter version is offered by George Eliot said, “It is never too late to be what you might have been.”

In that same vein are the inspiring words of Mary Engelbreit, “If your ship hasn’t come in—swim out to it.”

Our lives and who we are reflect our experiences. Most people believe we each have only one life to live, but you can live many lives through books as Charles Scribner reminds us, “Reading is a means of thinking with another person’s mind; it forces you to stretch your own.”

In closing I offer the sage advice of two very different people, one from the world of music and the other from the world of sports.

Ray Charles said, “Don’t go backwards, you’ve already been there,” while Will Foley reminds us, “The world is full of cactus, but you don’t have to sit on them.”

Both are ideas I work hard to adhere to.

Image credit: luke_wes

The trouble with finding quotes on the Internet is that they are frequently missing attribution. If you know who said any of those missing an author please share your knowledge.

Mark Twain provided a great explanation to all those who don’t understand why failure is often more important than being right, “Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment. “

It used to  be a standing joke that guys don’t ask for directions (or help) and it seems to be an attitude that more and more women are adopting and proud of it, but they may want to rethink it based on this bit of common wisdom, “If you’re too afraid to ask for help, you will drown proudly.”

The following is dedicated to all those who never let facts influence their opinion, “Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity”

Have you ever wondered why some are doers and others are slackers? Here’s part of the answer, “Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.” And we are a country of short-term thinkers.

The following should be writ large at all events, especially those relating to business, “The real test of a person is how s/he treats people who can be of no personal benefit now or in the future.”

Those who pass that test will have no trouble living by this advice, “The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

Finally I’ll share one that I keep taped to my monitor. “The world is full of cactus, but you don’t have to sit on them!”

Flickr image credit: Peter Pearson

In an interesting post at HBR Peter Bregman talks about attending a conference as yourself instead of as your role, although roles are far easier, because we feel more comfortable and safer.

It’s why, within a minute of meeting someone, we begin to define ourselves by our roles, our status, and our relationships to others. We think it’s because other people need that information to know us.

But standing alone at that party I realized I’d been fooling myself. Other people don’t need that information to know me. I need that information to know myself.

I would go further and suggest that you attend life as yourself as opposed to your roles.

Roles make it easy to interact with strangers, but they also allow us to hide from our bosses, colleagues and even serve as barriers between us and our families—but the greatest disservice roles perform is allowing us to hide from ourselves.

If you define yourself internally by your roles you preclude exploration and the chance to discover new depths, travel new paths and learn what you are really capable of.

Putting yourself first and your roles second is scary and makes you vulnerable, but it also opens the door to a myriad of possibilities.

Flickr image credit: sxc.hu

Do you struggle to remember people and events from the past?

Hazy memories of someone or something that loomed enormous at the time?

The author of this short mantra is unknown. I took the liberty of broadening it to encompass more of life than just people, because, for me, it says something very important about growing and letting go.

There comes a point in your life when you realize
Who/what matters, 
Who/what never did, 
Who/what won’t anymore… 
And who/what always will. 
So, don’t worry about people and events from your past, 
There’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.

Flickr image credit: Hryck

Consider this a Valentine message from me.

Last summer I wrote that the solution to having employees who care about their work and company was to look in the mirror, since their caring was a direct result of your management and the culture it engendered.

A few days ago Jeff Haden wrote in Inc. magazine about eight things people want that are a function of your MAP as opposed to your budget.

1. Freedom
2. Target
3. Mission
4. Expectations
5. Input
6. Connection
7. Consistency
8. Future

The words and explanations vary slightly, but this is the same advice I and dozens of other culture mavens have been saying for years.

Culture matters; it matters more than strategy, planning and even compensation.

Culture is your responsibility.

Culture is how you show you care.

Culture is you.

Whereas it’s barely possible to effectively live a personal lie, it just isn’t possible to propagate a culture based on one.

Not in ten lifetimes could you implement a culture that deviates from your basic values, your MAP, your essence.

You can provide what people crave, because you can change at any time you choose.

That’s the key, the choice is yours; it can’t be made for you by someone else or made by you because another desires it.

You can change, but only if you want to change.

Valentine’s Day is a good day to choose to start changing.

It won’t be easy; it will take more than a day; but it will take longer if you don’t start now.

Flickr image credit: AForestFrolic