“Clint” used the ‘Chat with Miki” box in the right-hand frame to ask me this question.

Have you ever heard this?  “People usually won’t change until the pain of NOT changing exceeds the pain of changing.”

Since this is a pretty common idea I thought I’d share my ideas with everybody.

I’ve heard this and many variations of it over the years, especially when applied to the workplace where it becomes a form of management by threat

For example, if your company or boss decides on a change and people’s jobs hinge on that change, they will change.

The problem is that they will also disengage at some level, maybe a little, but sometimes a lot. Not always obviously, but over time it will show in lower productivity, less creativity and, eventually, higher turnover.

Clint then asked if I thought that vested self-interest could be used instead of increasing the pain.

The answer is absolutely.

VSI is the perfect opposite to increased pain.

By rethinking a desired action, such as change, and presenting it in terms of its value to employees you can trip the VSI switch—but not if it’s a con.

As I’ve said a million times, people are not stupid; if the desired action is not really in their best interests there is nothing you can do that will convince them. VSI will still kick in, but the result will be resume polishing, lots of LinkedIn action and conversations with recruiters.

Clint decided that by using vested self-interest he could reduce the pain of changing. He plans to connect his organization’s goals to his people’s goals, which will effectively reduce the pain and increase the likelihood that they will do what he needs them to do—painlessly.

Handy little item my chat box. Try it, I’m usually here.

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I probably shouldn’t say this, but I do get tired of having managers ask, how to get workers to think/do/work “outside-the-box.”

For decades they’ve been exploring a plethora of business books, articles, seminars, coaching, consulting, discussions, etc., on the subject—some good, some not so good—and are still searching for how to lead their workers out of that dreaded box.

I hear, “How do we get the team to think differently?” “What incentives work best?” “How do we engage our people?”

What I don’t hear is “What do I need to change in me [to make it happen]?”

What annoys is the assumption that the solutions all involve changing the staff, environment, compensation and any other external item that might plausibly make a difference—except self.

If you want your people to think/do/work outside-the-box then you need to lead/manage outside-the-box and that usually means changing your MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™) before you can expect your people to change theirs.

This is rarely what leaders/managers want to hear.

I keep saying it, as do others, but many still don’t get it or just ignore it.

Today I’m saying it again loudly and very publicly:

You (there are no exceptions, none) manage/lead based on the way you think, what you think, how you think, and what you believe—in other words your MAP. No matter what you read, hear or talk, you will always walk your own MAP—that is your authenticity and you can never get away from it.

It’s not enough for you to know, you need to accept this as truth along with the knowledge that any changes are your choice and in your control.

That said, why not adopt RampUp Solutions taglines as your own.

To change what they do, change how you think.

Leadership: outside-the-box/inside your head.

Your comments—priceless

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The word on the street is that people hate change.

But another school of thought says it’s not change, but how change is presented and implemented.

I agree with both statements.

Change must be presented intelligently, i.e., in ways that the people involved see the change as positive for themselves and for their situation.

This is the overt side of change that, at its best, addresses both the right and left side of your brain.

But what about the covert side of your brain—the part ruled by habit?

Anybody who has ended a habit, such as smoking, or modified an unconscious characteristic, such as rapid speaking, knows just how difficult it is to change/modify things of which you’re not even aware.

It is this covert side that makes change so difficult.

Any major action or situation has dozens of tiny associated habits and every one of them needs to change or, at least, be modified, because habits are never really broken—they are replaced.

For example, it is the hundreds of covert habits that make changing jobs so traumatic. On top of all the biggies—new company/culture/job/boss/colleagues—are the minutiae of functioning—route to work/parking/mass transit/restrooms/eating/etc.—this list is far longer than the overt list—and far more ignored.

Whether you are managing change for your team or changing yourself, ignoring the covert side allows all those niggling little habits to come back and bite you imperiling your success.

Look at both sides and make lists of what you find and think about how to deal with each, and don’t try to do it alone, it isn’t necessary and it makes a difficult effort harder.

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What would you write if you were allowed just 100 words to describe a future for our world knowing that your description would become reality?

I don’t mean sci-fi technology or sweeping physical changes, but changes to people’s MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™), universal changes that would improve life in any country and overall globally.

Here is mine.

We need to stop putting ideology ahead of success; stop avoiding accountability by citing those whose lead we follow; excusing our own unethical behavior on the basis that others do the same thing; believing that [whatever] is OK because our religion forgives us. We must take initiative and stop waiting for someone else to show us how, tell us why or lead our actions. We need to cherish our planet, all its plants and animals, and accept that there is only one race, human; everyone needs to clean up their own back yard, then help others—together we can win.

Write your hundred words in comments and you’ll be entered to win a copy of High Altitude Leadership: What the World’s Most Forbidding Peaks Teach Us About Success.

The winner will be chosen by Random.org. You can enter as many times as you want, as long as the entries are different. The contest runs to the end of November, so enter early and often.

Your comments—priceless

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Reams have been written extolling the virtues of listening.

Consultants and coaches spend hours convincing management to listen to their customers and employees.

Therapists and relationship coaches advocate listening as the foundation of building or healing a marriage.

Psychologists and experts admonish parents to listen to their kids.

But did you know that the secret of listening is found in its letters.

‘Listen’ contains the same letters as ‘silent’, which is logical since you can’t do one without the other!

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Friday I explained how the Philosophy of ER can help you lead a more satisfying life and achieve more of your goals, especially the big ones. Today I want to share a focus that has helped me bounce back from a variety of things, large, small and even devastating, over the years.

It is the difference between spending large amounts of time and energy arranging your life so nothing can go wrong or trying to fix the people in your world so you won’t be hurt/upset/etc. when they doing whatever as opposed to recognizing that there is nothing you can do that will protect you and spending the same time and energy building your coping skills.

I figured this out on my own when I was five years old and my father was killed. Being the people they were my family and relatives each found their own way to deal with it and I needed to do the same.

And I did.

I knew I couldn’t change what happened, there was nothing I could do that would bring him back. I had to go to school and listen to everyone say how sorry they were without falling apart and making a fool of myself. In other words, I needed to cope with what had happened and because no one could do it for me I did.

As I grew and other things happened I stayed focused on coping with them; most were the small, everyday variety that happen to all of us, while others were large.

The common element was that they were all things that made me fall apart, so I focused my energies on how fast I could put myself back together, because I had come to believe that falling apart was normal.

By the time I was in my twenties I was so good at it that most people who knew me thought nothing could dent me.

Ha! Little did they know, but by then I could fall apart on the first beat and put myself back together by the second.

I wish there was some methodology I could share that would pass the coping skills I have on, but I have found over the years that each person has to develop their own; what works for them.

What I can guarantee is that no matter what you do, you will never constrain your world to run perfectly smoothly with nary a bump or an upset.

But you can build your ability to handle whatever happens; to cope, keep going and deal with everything that life throws at you.

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As I’ve said before, the best way to do anything is to KISS* it.

Now comes more proof, via Peter Bregman at Harvard Biz. He talks first about losing weight, but then illustrates the principle with a couple of business examples.

“Typically, people overwhelm themselves with tasks in their eagerness to make a change successfully. But that’s a mistake. Instead, they should take the time up front to figure out the one and only thing that will have the highest impact and then focus 100% of their effort on that one thing.”

Got that? Just one thing. One.

And once you focus your people (or yourself) on that one thing don’t go changing or adding or modifying it—directly or in some sneaky manner.

Not only is that unfair, but you will lose the benefit of the original thing because it won’t happen. Worse, trust levels will plummet, your people will be frustrated and you could end up going down instead of up.

This also means not listening to all the well-meaning advice you’ll get once you embark on your course or giving up at the first bump in your path.

Knowing what the right one thing is requires you to do good analysis, not just a casual once-over or going with your gut feel; either of those is likely to lead to disaster.

So the next time you need to do something, KISS it:

1. Analyze the situation.
2. Determine the one thing that offers the greatest return.
3. Fully communicate it to your people (or yourself).
4. Don’t mess with it after you commit.
5. Prepare to be blown away by the results.

*Keep It Simple, Stupid

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Before you can implement any of the ideas in The Levity Effect you need to take inventory and be sure that your MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™) is in tune with the idea. Being in tune with levity is much more a matter of how you think than how well your sense of humor works.

1. Do you smile more often than you frown?
2. Do you think about work in terms of enjoyment and fun?
3. Are you glad when a colleague succeeds?
4. Are you happy most of the time?
5. How easily you laugh at yourself?

I know you are smart enough to figure out what the answers should be, but to have any benefit you need to answer honestly’ after all, no one else will see them.

The correct pro-levity responses are ‘yes’ to the first four and ‘easily’ to number five. If your responses are different you need to sit down and have a long talk with yourself.

How do you adjust your MAP? Part of it is awareness, but there is things you can do while working on the deeper changes.

1. Make it a point to smile, or at least not frown.
2. Look for what is good at work, what you enjoy, and the specific things that do make you smile.
3. Whether you’re jealous or just don’t care be positive and congratulate your colleagues when they do well; not just the big things, but all the little stuff that goes on every day. Be sure that the congratulations/recognition/appreciation fit the event. If you have a problem being sincere think about how you feel if a colleague snubbed your accomplishments.
4. Follow Napoleon Hill’s advice and “think, act, walk and talk like the person you want to become and you will become that person.”
5. This one is more involved, so we’ll examine it in depth on Thursday.

See you then!

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The best way to succeed is to identify the things you do well and that make you, by your own definition, happy.

The most important words in the above sentence are ‘by your own definition’.

Embracing external definitions of success that don’t really match your MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™), or forcing yourself into a role that everyone except you thinks is right, not only leads to unhappiness, but to broken health and wrecked relationships.

Follow these 4 steps on the path to success.

• Find your own definition of ‘happy;
• recognize that the definition will change many times throughout your life as you change;
• accept the changes; and
• adjust your life to embrace them.

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Take a look at another innovation

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