Backlash 3-Side Effects Of Guilt
by Miki Saxon(Continuing from yesterday)
Guilt does nasty things, not just to our psyche, but also to our minds and bodies. Guilt induces stress (as if you don’t have enough already) and the varied effects of stress are enough to fill a small library.
Once you bring your guilt under control and implement your guilt-eradication habits it’s time to undo the damage—not just the damage due to guilt, but the damage caused by the actions that led to your saying no in the first place.
Typically, the whole mess started from saying yes to most, if not all, requests and taking on too many commitments. This led, over a period to time, to borrowing more and more time from other actions (meals, exercise, family, friends, etc.) and using it to achieve all the stuff you said you’d do.
The prime result is deterioration. Deterioration in nutrition (quick food is rarely healthy), activities (no time to workout, let alone play), family relationships (it’s hard to be warm and fuzzy when someone is busy/harried/always-on/tired/grumpy), and friends (who wants to spend time with an always-on bear with a sore head).
Nothing I’ve said so far is rocket science, there are already hundreds of books addressing what to do, and they all work to a greater or lesser degree.
The trick to turning the deterioration around is finding things that appeal to your MAP. This often means tweaking what you find in a book or thinking up something that’s all yours—it may not be new, but you’ll still own it.
For instance, if you find your eating isn’t great, rather than frozen dinners, takeout, or fast food, try investing in one or two cooking days a month. Cook multiple entrees, but make it fun by using, in addition to your favorites, recipes you’ve never done or been afraid to tackle, and freeze them. Cooking day can be even more fun by making it a cooking class, where everyone teaches each other. This is especially great for kids of all ages. If absolutely necessary, package what you cook to eat on the run, but it’s best to eat “like a real person,” at a table with company, whether people, a book or even the TV—not with your laptop or cell phone.
If you really want to have some fun, have a dinner dance at least once a week. Most people I’ve suggested this to tell me that once they tried it they ended up incorporating it almost daily. A dinner dance is just what it sounds like, only a lot less formal. The dancing takes place during both preparation and eating, and often continues after the meal is finished. Whether you dance alone or with a partner doesn’t matter, what matters is that you move! Ballroom, swing, line, rock, break, square or something else, get it on and dance.
See, not rocket science.
And before you say you don’t have time to do any of this, think about the time you’re generating every time you say no, to what better use can you put it?
Tomorrow we’ll address your MAP, before an insurgency starts.
