An interesting post from Steven Vannoy and Craig Ross talks about the need of so many to “fix it” no matter what ‘it’ is, but especially when it comes to other people’s actions. They offer the ‘4 A’s— awareness; acceptance; ask; acknowledge’—as a more successful approach when change is needed. Good stuff and well worth reading.

But before you put it into practice take a step back and ask yourself this question.

Is my goal to help X change for the better or help X to do it the way I do it?

Think of all the times you’ve made suggestions to someone on a different/better way to do something when, in fact, the different/better way was the way you do it.

The fix-it syndrome lives in all of us, especially managers and in most cases people are honestly trying to help. It’s not a case of ‘my way or the highway’, just the feeling that their approach is the best one around.

And it is—for them.

So next time you want to fix-it be sure that what you’re fixing is really an improvement and not just the difference between your way and a different way.

Image credit: sxc.hu

There are three universal functions that people at all levels do in the course of daily life and I bet that you can’t guess them.

Every day, no matter who you are or what you do you lead, manage and sell.

Most people don’t believe me when I say this.

Workers think they don’t lead or manage because they’re workers and non-salespeople, especially engineers, are usually adamant that they not only don’t, but couldn’t, sell.

The point is that these three functions have been swathed in enough mystiques that most people believe they don’t do them when, in fact, they do them daily.

You sell every time you convince someone to do what you want them to do.

You lead every time you take the initiative instead of waiting for someone else to do it.

But people hesitate to use words such as sales, manage or lead to describe what they do unless they’re in that profession or already at a certain level in the organization and that holds them back from growing.

We humans have a habit of assigning value to acts based to a great degree on the language used to describe them.

I’m not suggesting that you use this language for bragging rights, but you should use it inside your head when you think about what you do.

For instance, if you’re an engineer who, after thoroughly researching the subject, presents a compelling argument to your boss for buying a new piece of software or equipment and it is purchased as a result, then you sold your argument.

The same is true when your idea of where to have lunch or which movie to see is chosen—you sold it.

Or you’re the junior member of the team, but you take the initiative to research something that you think will contribute to the success of the project even though it’s not your responsibility, then you’re leading.

When it comes to managing most people realize that to get anything done anywhere in their life requires various management skills, but they rarely call it that.

But if you want to grow that’s exactly what you need to do.

Examine what you do every day, including the little things, and acknowledge each time you led, sold or managed and then use the correct language when thinking about it.

It’s what’s in your head, what you believe, that’s important, because no matter what others say, if you don’t think it you won’t believe them.

Image credit: flickr

The other day I said to a friend that I’ve turned into a real wimp. He thought I was kidding and said that I was the last person he associated with wimping out on anything.

I was surprised, but as we discussed it I realized that what I saw as wimpiness he saw as strength.

That got me to thinking how often what one person calls wimping out may be another person’s greatest act of courage. Likewise, what moves one person can leave another cold.

It’s all relative depending on your MAP, the circumstances and even the mood you’re in.

Sounds obvious, but it’s important knowledge, not information, but knowledge—maybe even wisdom—for any person responsible for motivating others, whether at work or in everyday life.

Image credit: nookiez CC license

Image credit: sscharlo

More than 200 years ago Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe said, “Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.”

A hundred years later Napoleon Hill said, “Think, act, walk and talk like the person you want to become and you will become that person.”

What these two great thinkers have in common is the positive use of assumption, but not assumption in a vacuum.

Assumptive management a la Goethe requires that you provide all the information necessary to attain the vision, coach as needed and be an active cheering section for accomplishments.

Personal growth a la Hill requires a clear vision of who/what you’re emulating. Yes, it’s easier with active support from those around you, but don’t let the lack of support hold you back—it’s achievable without it.

(Thanks to Phil Gerbyshak over at Slacker Manager for the Goethe quote.)

Do you use positive assumptive techniques at work or personally?