I’ve written a lot on the both the why and how of face-to-face communications, so today will be a short post, with links to previous content.
Do you wonder why 69% of managers aren’t comfortable talking with their team?
Perhaps it’s because they aren’t comfortable talking period.
What’s going on? What happened to verbal communications a la conversation?
It’s not just tech, although tech has made it much worse.
Modern managers have avoided discussions with employees, especially about performance issues.
Before computers they tried to manage by memo; post computer by email and most recently by texting. None of them work.
Problem 1: screens kill empathy and empathy underlies all positive human interactions.
Solution: Turn off your screens. And if you believe everything will fall apart if you are unavailable for 20 minutes here and 40 minutes there each day then your organization is in far worse shape than you realize.
Problem 2: AMS; it stands for assumption, manipulation, self-fulfilling prophesy.
Solution: Build internal awareness of your AMS (we all do it), then work to control it. Don’t try to completely eradicate it; it’s a waste of effort.
… 69% of respondents [US managers] said that they found “communicating in general” to be the hardest part about communicating with employees.
If you are one of that 69% then you should consider the flip side of the equation — employees.
The percentage of US managers who say they don’t like talking with employees mirrors the 67% of US workers who say they’re not engaged at work. That figure comes from the most recent Gallup survey of the US workplace, the company’s annual in-depth report on more than 31 million workers across US industries.
Why?
…one of the primary things employees say they need to feel engaged and productive at work is regular, meaningful communication with their managers.
It’s black and white; cause and effect.
It’s a simple bottom line.
If you don’t make the effort and learn to be comfortable having face-to-face conversations with your people, then you lose the right to complain about their engagement, motivation, productivity, creativity, and turnover — not to mention damaging your own career path.
Saturday Business Insider was kind enough to post this video on how and why to stop using filler words, especially in a professional setting as you can clearly see in the transcript of Mackey’s speech.
Not motivated? Then focus on the fact that filler words make you sound dumb.
Thursday is the opening of family-get-together season; a time of high stress for many, i.e., a time of battles, large and small.
This is also the time of year that the media trots out dozens of therapists, coaches, etc., to advise on how to handle family get-togethers.
But I think they miss the point.
Connecting for a better relationship isn’t the aim when Uncle Harry drinks too much and starts on his standard rant of what’s wrong with today’s society, etc., etc, etc.
What’s needed are hardcore negotiating skills.
And who better to share them in time for the start of family-get-together season than real hostage negotiators who handle potentially violent confrontations for a living?
I have often wondered, How might a hostage negotiator help the average American family get through Thanksgiving? (…) Surely these are matters for professionals who’ve received months of intensive training in crisis intervention?
Perfect.
Read the article, practice on a like-minded friend between now and Thursday and you’ll have the skills to handle everything Uncle Harry, cousin Rebecca or anyone else might throw your way.
I love George Bernard Shaw; he was brilliant and had a rapier wit with which he skewered deserving people, ideas and situations, while supplying pithy commentary on the events of his time as well as inspirational ideas.
Some of the things he said have passed into such common usage that few people even realize they are quotes. How many times have you seen this on cards, plaques and samplers?
“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’”
Sound familiar? It’s a favorite of mine; in fact, I have it on my office wall.
So I went looking for a few of the more esoteric Shawisms.
The first is an important heads-up for all of us, but especially anyone in a leadership role; you might even find that it accurately describes the problems you’re having.
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
Progress is something that both people and business expend great effort to do; what we often forget is that progress means things will be different.
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
Because we progress we are all constantly changing, but too often people don’t take the time to find out who you are now; Shaw sums the problem and solution up in just a few words.
“The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them”
Collaboration boosts progress; Shaw understood this and explained why it’s so important.
“If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.”
Progress requires innovation, but real progress requires thinking as opposed to rephrasing previous ideas to sound new, but if Shaw was correct it accounts for the lack of progress in so many areas.
“Two percent of the people think; three percent of the people think they think; and ninety-five percent of the people would rather die than think.”
Those who don’t think often lean on ideology to support their agenda. The problem with ideology is that it doesn’t lend itself to seeing another’s world-view. Shaw understood how ridiculous this was.
“The frontier between hell and heaven is only the difference between two ways of looking at things.”
My last choice is one I would like to apply to all politicians and educators. Perhaps, if we did, it would significantly improve the quality of those who claim to serve. (Hmm, it probably wouldn’t hurt to apply it to everybody else, too, including yours truly.)
“We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence…on pain of liquidation.”
Let us start with a question. Do you read Schumpeter in The Economist? Most of the time I really like what he says, but every now and then I disagree.
A good example of this is The cult of the faceless boss; I don’t agree that a CEO has to be flamboyant, maniacal, egotisticical and overbearing to be brilliant.
I’m thinking of titling my new management tome: “How I Learned My Five Most Effective Management Habits in Kindergarten, While Winning Friends and Influencing People by Using a Twelve Step Program, and All Inspired by Sun Tzu and Genghis Khan.”
Speaking of overbearing and egotistical what do you think of this CEO? One can only hope that he’s been canned—better yet, he should become a patient in his own facility.
Finally, Peter Schutz, former CEO of Porsche, sums up the two necessities for success, “People buy other people and corporate culture,” something that made Zappos what it is, but that many executives forget.
Leadership Turn is ending; its last day is December 29. I’ve enjoyed writing it and our interaction since August 16, 2007; LT may end, but I’ll keep going at my other blog.
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“To reduce “female brain drain,” global companies such as Ernst & Young, Goldman Sachs, Booz Allen Hamilton, Hewlett-Packard, Best Buy and dozens of others are increasingly offering a variety of flexible work options.”
Don’t get me wrong. These companies aren’t doing it out of the goodness of their corporate heart or caring social consciousness, they’re doing it because it makes financial sense, AKA, vested self-interest.
“Business analysts and executives say talent retention and the forces of demography are the chief reasons large, traditional companies accommodate the needs of female employees. Fifty-eight percent of college graduates are women, and nearly half of all professional and graduate degrees are earned by women…the number of women with graduate and professional degrees will grow by 16 percent over the next decade compared with an increase of only 1.3 percent among men.”
“Whether you can hear it or not, a time bomb is ticking in C-suites worldwide. Its shock waves will resonate for decades. The explosive: indisputable demographics. Surveys…indicate that the number of managers in the right age bracket for leadership roles will drop by 30% in just six years. Factor in even modest growth rates, and the average corporation will be left with half the critical talent it needs by 2015.”
It’s not just large firms, SMB companies are active in the effort, although they often skip the language and the programs are more informal—which is why they’re often described as “being like a family.”
Although the work-life trend started with women, the guys want it, too, and Millennials assume it as a right.
The economy will turn around—it always does; more Boomers will retire; demographics will prevail; talent will be scarcer and the companies that already know how to offer balance will have an enormous recruiting edge.
Communications are all important to the smooth running of anything involving people.
Obviously this includes business, since companies are no more than an affiliated group of people committed (in varying degrees) to progressing towards the same goal.
“Simple clear purpose and principles give rise to complex intelligent behavior. Complex rules and regulations give rise to simple stupid behavior.” –Dee Hock (Visa founder)
There is no question that this is true as proved by the next two quotes from opposite ends of the clarity spectrum. Follow the first and you will be reviled by your colleagues, but implementing the second will make you both loved and influential.
The first is a superb example of what not to do from an organization that has demonstrated throughout its existence a brilliant ability to obfuscate in all its communications.
“Passive activity income does not include the following: Income for an activity that is not a passive activity.” –IRS form, Passive Activity Loss Limitation
The second is a bit of brilliance from a guy (pun intended) I hold in the highest regard. It’s just too bad more people don’t follow this particular advice.
“I think that no one, or very few, are born as good presenters. It’s a skill that you learn. The key is the 10/20/30 rule: 10 slides given in 20 minutes using no font smaller than 30 points. If people just adhered to this rule, they would double or triple the quality of their presentations. Less is more when it comes to pitching. You cannot bludgeon people into believing.” –Guy Kawasaki
But as important as communications are, never lose sight of the following:
“Organization doesn’t really accomplish anything. Plans don’t accomplish anything. Theories of management don’t much matter. Endeavors succeed or fail because of the people involved. Only by attracting the best people will you accomplish great deeds.” –Colin Powell
Entrepreneurs face difficulties that are hard for most people to imagine, let alone understand. You can find anonymous help and connections that do understand at 7 cups of tea.
Crises never end.
$10 really does make a difference and you’ll never miss it,
Yesterday I 
I love George Bernard Shaw; he was brilliant and had a rapier wit with which he skewered deserving people, ideas and situations, while supplying pithy commentary on the events of his time as well as inspirational ideas.
Let us start with a question. Do you read 
When the economy slows, it’s easy to ignore retention factors because management kids itself into believing that replacing people is no big deal.
