A Friday series exploring Startups and the people who make them go. Read all If the Shoe Fits posts here.

Most founders love to talk about leadership and there’s little question that they consider themselves leaders.

But leading is a lot more than creating a vision and raising funds.

Leading means modeling the right choice and who better than Wally Bock, my favorite leadership guru, to explain what that really means.

Leadership by Example

“There is no leadership without leadership by example.”

I heard that bit of wisdom from the lips of Captain James Westley Ayers, USMC. But I only remember the quote because of the example he set.

My father said that, “You’re alive as long as they tell stories about you.” Many of us who knew Captain Ayers are still telling stories about him half a century after we experienced his leadership. The big lesson for me was: leaders care for their people.

That’s Marine doctrine. A leader has two jobs. You must accomplish the mission and you must care for the people. But this is more than “leaders eat last.” This is a way of thinking about your responsibility for the people you lead.

One set of Captain Ayers stories revolve around the “meat he couldn’t use.” Our unit had lots of young, married Marines who were living off base, trying to make it on the couple hundred bucks the Marine Corps paid us, and whatever their spouse could bring in. By the middle of the month, it was always hard times. It was time for peanut butter sandwiches and fried baloney for dinner.

And then Captain Ayers would show up at the door. He always asked, “I wonder if you can help me?”

The problem was something like “I’ve got a whole bunch of meat I can’t use, and would you take some off my hands, as a favor?” Sometimes he bought more than he could handle. Sometimes his freezer had broken. Sometimes he bought all that meat for a reunion that got cancelled. Whatever it was, he asked if you would be kind enough to take some meat, say enough for a couple of months of meals, off his hands.

By the time I encountered Captain Ayers, the Marine Corps had drilled into me the idea that a leader‘s goal is to accomplish the mission. Captain Ayers showed me what it means to care for your people. Most of that caring wasn’t dramatic. He encouraged and suggested. He told you the truth.

I experienced that when I wanted to apply for a program that required his recommendation. He spent a half hour telling me that he wouldn’t do it because I wasn’t ready and explaining why. Then he took another half hour to tell me what I had to do to be ready in a year.

I haven’t always lived up to Captain Ayers’ example, but it’s always been there as a shining standard for me. That’s what leadership by example is all about.

When I got out of the Marines, and started in business, I encountered something very different. I won’t give his name, because I hope he’s reformed since I knew him, I call him “My Worst Boss Ever.”

Worst Boss Ever’s example wasn’t so great. He was selfish, haughty, and mean. He relished catching people doing something wrong and belittling them in public.

Leadership by Example Is Like A Superpower

Leadership by example is a superpower. It influences the people you lead and affects the choices they make. Like any superpower, you can use it for good or not.

The people who lead you early in your career have a huge impact on the way you lead. My research in police agencies produced “leadership trees” of good supervisors who had learned their craft working for other good supervisors early in their career.

You’re Going to Set the Example, So Set A Good One

I was fortunate. I experienced Captain Ayers and other effective leaders before I experienced my Worst Boss Ever. When I encountered him, I knew he was a jerk, and how he acted did not model the leader I wanted to become.

You don’t have any choice about setting the example. That’s built into human nature. The only choice you have is whether you will set a good example or a bad one.

Bottom Line

There is no leadership without leadership by example. You don’t have a choice about that. Your only choice is whether you will set a good example or a bad one.

Copyright © 2018 Wally Bock, All rights reserved.

Bad examples have always been with us, but they have a much higher profile these days.

Think Travis Kalanick (Uber) and Parker Conrad (Zenefits).

Then think Marc Benioff (Salesforce) and Stuart Butterfield (Slack)

Then choose.

Image credit: HikingArtist

One of Wally Bock’s tips about planning (worth reading) lead me to reread a post I wrote on the same topic a couple of years ago and reposted as a Golden Oldie last February.

The crux of the post is the difference between nouns and verbs.

It is plan-the-verb that distinguishes the winners from the also-rans and it is the verb that keeps you ahead of the competition. (…) Plan-the-verb boosts initiative, encourages taking responsibility and speeds professional growth, providing you with a stronger in-house bench from which to grow.

It is always detrimental to value the noun—plan, leader, manager—more than the verb—plan, lead, manage—but in the business world it can be devastating.

Which are you?

Being a noun involves making announcements, pronouncements, discussions, and shifting paper from here to there — and (often) back again.

Being a verb requires initiative and action.

Verbs don’t wait to be told what needs doing; they actively look for it and each time they find it they move, of their own volition, to resolve it.

In most things in life you have a choice and this is no different.

While we are all part noun and part verb, it is our individual decisions that determine which trait grows and dominates.

Image credit: Jason Taellious

I recently made a career change that, so far, has been extremely positive.

I have been in the tech space for some time and enjoy it. However, I think I carry a bit of baggage when I go to new companies.

By that I mean I have had employers in the past who were truly miserable to work for. I dreaded going in each day and my motivation was very low.

When I look at new companies I tend to carry that frame of reference with me as I interview. I consider the culture, how would I like the boss, how do people act in the office?

I have been interviewing for a few months now, at a variety of companies, and I have seen a few that make me want to run!

I’m in sales and whenever I hear a company say that they don’t have a process in place and just want somebody who’s hungry, I think red flag.

Obviously you want to be engaged and hard working in sales, but I have found that organizations that have no formal process in place are just flying by the seat of their pants.

It’s hard to define success, there is little support for you and if you don’t hit your numbers you are out right away.

I also spoke with a company that recently received an influx of VC money. As a result they have hired 70+ sales people all at once. Big red flag! How do you manage that? What metrics are defining success? How many people are on quota? None of that could be answered, so I stopped that interview process right away.

At the end of the day I found a company that is doing some really cool things in the GIS space. They are growing, own their IP, have a huge customer base and the co-workers are truly kind and passionate about their roles and product.

The benefits were awesome, but at the end of the day I asked myself, could I be here for 8 hours a day and still want to come back the next day?

For me the answer was yes.

Image credit: Bs0u10e0

A Friday series exploring Startups and the people who make them go. Read all If the Shoe Fits posts here.

Early this year I wrote Convenience is Killing Creativity and today is a sort of follow-up to that post.

A few days ago another story popped up condemning tech’s fixation on “easy to use.”

These days, the gold standard for tech is whether or not it’s “easy to use.” (…) So easy a five-year-old could do it. That is a nice ideal.

But simplicity comes at a cost, and five-year-olds are not very smart. A simple tool is, by definition, inflexible. Software that boils everything down to one button needs to make a lot of assumptions about what the user is trying to do. If you don’t agree with those assumptions, too bad.

Too bad is right.

While the author was focused on software programs, assumptions are found everywhere.

I hate those assumptions. Windows 10 doesn’t like how I personalize my computer, so it just goes ahead and changes everything back to what some damn 25 year old thinks it should be.

And it’s not just software.

Surveys and questionnaires are terrible, especially those in healthcare.

Even multiple choice offers absolute choices, with little flexibility; how often have you seen ‘sometimes’?

The problem is that, for most of us, true answers are more nuanced.

Sure, sometimes the nuances and subtleties don’t really matter, but too often they make the difference between an accurate picture and one that is distorted, or, at the least, blurred by the creator’s bias (as opposed to one’s own).

Bottom line: tech dumbs us down with “ease of use” and everyone limits us with lack of choice.

Image credit: HikingArtist

I have a guilty pleasure that has persisted for years. My wife is well aware of it and actively encourages the habit. I’m an avid watcher of The Bachelor and all of the spin offs. When I first saw it with my wife years ago I could not believe how vapid and inconsequential the show was. I truly did not care about the outcome, thought everyone participating was a fool and hated myself for wasting time watching it.

However time heals all wounds. The premise of the show is simple. One woman or one man has around 30 suitors to choose from. Over the course of the season they whittle it down to one with the hope that the relationship ends in true love.

I know, absolutely ridiculous. However if you watch more than one season you start to see some of the same people. They bring back fab favorites, others get second chances, villains and heroes are established. It’s essentially a giant soap opera and becomes hilarious to watch.

One thing I have noticed is the idea that choice can be a double edged sword. We may not all have 30 people pining for our heart, but we do have an abundance of choices.

We have career paths to choose. If you are hiring there is always another candidate; if interviewing, there is always another opportunity.

You walk into some restaurants that have everything from pizza to burritos and you can’t think, nothing quite hits the spot.

Choice can immobilize us.

Why are we left feeling empty after these abundance of choices?

I think part of it is a state of mind. If you always think there is something better down the road then you’re never satisfied with your current situation.

There is always more money, a better title, a better life.

As a former Marine I lived a life for some time where we were told to, “embrace the suck”.

We didn’t have a choice and in the absence of choice there can be peace and freedom.

I don’t have a single solution, but I know the choices will only increase.

How will you choose to live?

Image credit: Jason Taellious

Poking through 11+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.

Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.

As you know, the blog was dark last week. It was the first time I’d taken time off and, while I needed it for many reasons, one major one was to revaluate the ROI I get from writing a daily blog. As I explain in this post, we should expect as solid an ROI from our actions when investing in ourselves as we do when investing in the outside world.

I haven’t made any hard and fast decisions, but I do know that changes are ahead.

Read other Golden Oldies here.

How many times have you said something like, “I’m not very good at X.” only to be told not to be so hard on yourself, not to put yourself down, or some variation of that theme?

I grant you that sometimes these comments are accurate and that the person is under-rating herself, but, just as often it’s a valid statement of fact.

Maybe it’s partly a function of age, but, it’s mainly a function of knowing one’s self and knowing when a viable ROI on the time/energy investment to change/create/fix something in ourselves just isn’t there.

For example, All my life I’ve been a procrastinator. I was about an 8 on a scale of 10, with ten being the worst. Over the years I invested a tremendous amount of time and energy in changing that—and I did change it, to a 4. When I hit four, I realized that the effort it was taking me to move to 3.8 was larger than when I moved from eight to seven.

That meant the change wasn’t particularly productive, in other words, bad ROI. So I stopped investing in change and learned to compensate instead, meaning I channeled my remaining procrastination into areas that don’t really impact the important parts of my world.

The point of all this is two fold

1. Know yourself well enough to know what you really want to change—change is a very personal decision—because to change successfully, it must be your idea.
2. Recognize when the return on your time/energy being spent is too low to warrant the investment and develop work-arounds to deal with the remnants of the change-item.

Finally, don’t let those pesky don’t-be-so-hard-on-yourself comments push you into actions that aren’t in your best interest. After all, they don’t know me as well as I know me, or as well as you know you.

Image credit: Euro Betting Tips

Poking through 11+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.

Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.

If you read me often you’ll know I love words. I love them not only because of how they can be used to tell a story, but also because the answers to complex questions are often found within a single word — in the form of an anagram.

Here is one of my favorites.

And join me tomorrow for a six word anagram that comprises some of the best and most timeless management advice you’ll ever learn.

Read other Golden Oldies here.

The Tao of Life

We learn through words and can often learn more by deconstructing them.

Just as one of the most critical managerial (human) actions is found in its own anagram the Tao of another is found within the word itself.

The word is LIFE.

The Tao of life is IF.

IF you think/say/do this instead of that the Tao changes.

The IF isn’t always conscious or obvious.

But it is there.

It’s up to you to choose consciously.

And wisely.

Image credit: gfpeck

Why in the world do so many people choose to run at 60% efficiency?

“Not me,” I hear you saying.

Yes, you.

It’s the price you pay for enabling ‘notifications’ on your phone.

Your phone sitting there, constantly lighting up throughout the day creates this pattern in the brain scientists call “switch cost.”

It essentially means when there is an interruption, such as a notification, we switch our attention away from the task, then have to return afterwards — which is costly in terms of brain power, as well as time.

There are a finite number of hours in the day and we plan in an effort to spend them wisely, so it makes sense that we should plan how to spend our daily allotment of brain power/energy just as wisely.

Considering the toll, notifications doesn’t seem to fall in the wise column.

“We think it interrupts our efficiency with our brains, by about 40%,” Scott Bea, a psychologist at Cleveland Clinic told CBS. “Our nose is always getting off the grindstone, then we have to reorient ourselves.”

Beyond reducing effectiveness, notifications near constant interruptions directly effects our brains.

According to a study, presented at the annual meeting of the Radiological Society of North America last November, the interruptions from alerts to your smartphone could be altering your brain chemistry. (…) Constantly waiting for the next notification can put you on edge, meaning when it comes, your body releases cortisol, causing you heart rate to jump.

Even if you scoff at the addictive and brain-altering effects of notifications, do you really want to stake your career progression/success on functioning at 60% efficiency?

After all, it is your choice.

Check out some of the other posts/links about the myth of multitasking and its negative effects.

Image credit: Erik Pitti

Poking through 11+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.

Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.

I came across these two posts several weeks apart. The ideas they presented seemed to logically follow each other. This is strange only because the first one shown was written in 2013 and the following post in 2009.

Regarding the actual content, it’s still valid, only more so.

Read other Golden Oldies here.

Three Categories of People

People have longed for an all-knowing leader who they can mindlessly follow and abdicate their decision-making, since time began.

Some seek this all-knowing leader in religion; others look to politics, while still others believe that business is a better source.

Their time would be better spent accepting the reality that no such thing exists anywhere in any walk of life.

Then there are the people who aspire to be that all-knowing leader.

To that end they amass thousands of friends and followers, network their way well beyond what’s needed to be a LinkedIn Lion and work ceaselessly to raise their Klout score.

Finally, there are those who know without doubt that all-knowing leaders are in the same category as the tooth fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa Clause.

Which are you?

Follow Yourself; Partner With Others

I have a great idea to make the world a better place.

• Everybody who aspires to the cult of all-knowing leader stops.
• Everybody who longs for an all-knowing leader embraces the reality that no such thing exists.

Replacing these, everybody would

• learn leadership skills;
• apply them constantly to themselves; and
• occasionally in the outside world as circumstances dictated;
• take responsibility for their own actions and decisions; and
• partner with others as equals, whether one was in front or behind at any given time.

Not that I think there’s a chance in hell that this will happen, but it’s a nice thought on a beautiful summer Friday.

Image credit: Warning Sign Generator

Job hunting can be stressful, but also extremely rewarding should the right role present itself. You deal with learning about the culture, taking time off for interviewing, crafting the perfect resume, and finally going through the processes to come out on the other side with an offer. That offer can be well worth the stress of it all.

What if you had to do all of that with your current employer’s full knowledge that you were interviewing? Would you still go through the process? Does the risk outweigh the reward?

I actually had that scenario presented to me recently. I have a close working relationship with a hiring director at a company I would be open to working for. I love the culture, how they go to market and it would be a career boost for me.

In addition, since I have a close relationship with folks there, the role opening was presented to me versus me applying on a website and hoping they see me.

One problem though.

They asked that I tell my current employer first, before interviewing, so there is no conflict of interest (my current company does business with the target company).

I have been sitting on telling my boss now for five days. Each morning I walk in with a plan to tell him and each day I delay. I have prayed, meditated, asked for a sign in a dream that I am making a good decision in telling a current employer that I am interviewing before I even know if I have the role.

It has been a major stress for me as I know the move would be great, but I feel it’s too much of a risk to show my cards before I even know the outcome.

Today I even contemplated loosening my own moral code, pulling a Hope Hicks and telling a white lie. I was considering saying I had told my boss when in reality I wouldn’t.

Doing this, of course, may be small, but it starts the foundation on the wrong foot. It chips away at who I am.

I want the role, see a future and see a path forward. But through all my gnashing of teeth, I have not felt right putting my family at risk by saying anything to my boss.

The feeling helped me delay, because today I received a call from that director. He asked that I wait to tell my boss. He realized it didn’t need to be done and it wasn’t right of him to put me in that position.

Have you ever felt you had to compromise to get ahead?

Image credit: pixabay.com