A Friday series exploring Startups and the people who make them go. Read all If the Shoe Fits posts here.

Most founders love to talk about leadership and there’s little question that they consider themselves leaders.

But leading is a lot more than creating a vision and raising funds.

Leading means modeling the right choice and who better than Wally Bock, my favorite leadership guru, to explain what that really means.

Leadership by Example

“There is no leadership without leadership by example.”

I heard that bit of wisdom from the lips of Captain James Westley Ayers, USMC. But I only remember the quote because of the example he set.

My father said that, “You’re alive as long as they tell stories about you.” Many of us who knew Captain Ayers are still telling stories about him half a century after we experienced his leadership. The big lesson for me was: leaders care for their people.

That’s Marine doctrine. A leader has two jobs. You must accomplish the mission and you must care for the people. But this is more than “leaders eat last.” This is a way of thinking about your responsibility for the people you lead.

One set of Captain Ayers stories revolve around the “meat he couldn’t use.” Our unit had lots of young, married Marines who were living off base, trying to make it on the couple hundred bucks the Marine Corps paid us, and whatever their spouse could bring in. By the middle of the month, it was always hard times. It was time for peanut butter sandwiches and fried baloney for dinner.

And then Captain Ayers would show up at the door. He always asked, “I wonder if you can help me?”

The problem was something like “I’ve got a whole bunch of meat I can’t use, and would you take some off my hands, as a favor?” Sometimes he bought more than he could handle. Sometimes his freezer had broken. Sometimes he bought all that meat for a reunion that got cancelled. Whatever it was, he asked if you would be kind enough to take some meat, say enough for a couple of months of meals, off his hands.

By the time I encountered Captain Ayers, the Marine Corps had drilled into me the idea that a leader‘s goal is to accomplish the mission. Captain Ayers showed me what it means to care for your people. Most of that caring wasn’t dramatic. He encouraged and suggested. He told you the truth.

I experienced that when I wanted to apply for a program that required his recommendation. He spent a half hour telling me that he wouldn’t do it because I wasn’t ready and explaining why. Then he took another half hour to tell me what I had to do to be ready in a year.

I haven’t always lived up to Captain Ayers’ example, but it’s always been there as a shining standard for me. That’s what leadership by example is all about.

When I got out of the Marines, and started in business, I encountered something very different. I won’t give his name, because I hope he’s reformed since I knew him, I call him “My Worst Boss Ever.”

Worst Boss Ever’s example wasn’t so great. He was selfish, haughty, and mean. He relished catching people doing something wrong and belittling them in public.

Leadership by Example Is Like A Superpower

Leadership by example is a superpower. It influences the people you lead and affects the choices they make. Like any superpower, you can use it for good or not.

The people who lead you early in your career have a huge impact on the way you lead. My research in police agencies produced “leadership trees” of good supervisors who had learned their craft working for other good supervisors early in their career.

You’re Going to Set the Example, So Set A Good One

I was fortunate. I experienced Captain Ayers and other effective leaders before I experienced my Worst Boss Ever. When I encountered him, I knew he was a jerk, and how he acted did not model the leader I wanted to become.

You don’t have any choice about setting the example. That’s built into human nature. The only choice you have is whether you will set a good example or a bad one.

Bottom Line

There is no leadership without leadership by example. You don’t have a choice about that. Your only choice is whether you will set a good example or a bad one.

Copyright © 2018 Wally Bock, All rights reserved.

Bad examples have always been with us, but they have a much higher profile these days.

Think Travis Kalanick (Uber) and Parker Conrad (Zenefits).

Then think Marc Benioff (Salesforce) and Stuart Butterfield (Slack)

Then choose.

Image credit: HikingArtist

A Friday series exploring Startups and the people who make them go. Read all If the Shoe Fits posts here

Today is my last post of 2016.

That gives me nine whole days (I don’t do holidays) to power through the things on my to-do list that I never seem to get around to doing — like the windows.

I’m a world-class procrastinator, which is why it’s a very long list, so nine days isn’t all that much. But I do plan to make the most of them.

Wednesday I offered you 56 words with the power to change your life.

Today you get 22 real life examples of how not to succeed as a boss to keep you busy while I’m gone.

So lift a glass and accept my warmest wishes for a wonderful, joy-filled Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/whatever-makes-you-happy surrounded by those who care.

And indulge yourself in the three Fs — family, friends and food.

I’ll see you next year and share the changes that are coming to MAPping Company Success. I think you’ll be pleased.

Take care.

Image credit: HikingArtist

People tend to take their role models whole; kind of an all or nothing approach, which isn’t a very smart approach. A few weeks ago I wrote that in some ways Steve Jobs isn’t the greatest role model. Take a look at some others better taken piecemeal or even not at all.

Graham B. Spanier did an amazing job growing Penn State into a powerhouse, but threw up defenses at the first hint of criticism. Says close-to-retiring anthropology professor E. Paul Durrenberger, “If you’re always focused on promoting the brand and there’s no scrutiny, that leads to covering up.”

On the surface Eric Lefkofsky, co-founder and chairman of Groupon, may look like a great role model, but due diligence is as important when assessing role models as investments.

Lefkofsky’s track record, reflecting failures and successes, bears certain hallmarks: rapid revenue growth accompanied by big losses, a penchant to sell stock early on, and lawsuits filed by investors, lenders or customers who feel they have been wronged. … Lefkofsky and his family have already cashed out $382 million from Groupon before the IPO filing.

Successful founders are considered excellent role models, but is there a down side when they stay?

Visionaries are fantastic, but their companies are often notoriously hard to run. Sometimes, these leaders cling to dated visions and stifle innovation. And sometimes, they simply won’t get out of the way. Promising executives with new ideas get fed up and leave.

Many entrepreneurs are known for the size of their egos and none more so than those from Russia, but not all of them buy a sports team, larger yacht or another home. Several years ago Vladimir Kekhman, who made millions in bananas and other fruit, left his company to focus on the local ballet company; he just pulled off another “first” by pirating two premier dancers from the Bolshoi.

And Mr. Kekhman, at age 43, recently gave up all of his day-to-day responsibilities as a major owner of Russia’s biggest fruit company to focus on the Mikhailovsky. “I have a new profession right now,” he said. “And this profession has brought a new life to me.”

Finally, good health role models lurking in a place you would never expect to find any—long-haul truckers.

“I’m being stupid if I don’t lose the weight,” she said, “because I’ll lose my job.” — Jill Garcia, 50, a driver from San Antonio

Flickr image credit: pedroelcarvalho

Today I want to share stories about four people, three dead and one living.

We’ll start with the living. Lynn Passarella is principal of the Bronx Theater Arts Production Company School and has taken her school so far beyond grade inflation that it is being investigated.

“When I interviewed for the school,” said Sam Buchbinder, a history teacher, “it was made very clear: this is a school that doesn’t believe in anyone failing.”

Have you noticed that when historical information is released by a Presidential Library what surfaces is not new, more so of whatever was there before? That is certainly is true when it comes to the newly released Nixon tapes, in fact you might find yourself wondering if Mel Gibson is channeling him.

Nixon said he was not prejudiced but continued: “I’ve just recognized that, you know, all people have certain traits.” … “The Jews are just a very aggressive and abrasive and obnoxious personality.”

Reaching still further back in history, we have Mary Todd Lincoln, nicknamed “The Hellcat” because of her temper. She threw a tantrum during am ill-timed shopping trip just before the succession because she was asked to pay for her train ticket. It was her son that who calmed the troubled waters, but the media had a field day.

“My name is Bob Lincoln; I’m a son of Old Abe — the old woman is in the cars raising h-ll about her passes — I wish you would attend to her.”

Finally, there is Donald Tyson, the driving force behind Tyson Foods, lauded as a visionary entrepreneur and leader and it seems like a lot of current CEOs are channeling his methods.

But it [the contested purchase of Holly Farms] also led to risky deals, questionable business practices and political ties that produced legal entanglements for him and the company. … Environmentalists accused Tyson of fouling waterways. Animal rights groups said it raised chickens in cruel conditions. Regulators said it discriminated against women and blacks and cheated workers out of wages.

More evidence that being designated a leader isn’t proof that someone is worth following.

Image credit:  MykReeve on flickr

It takes years to build a brand into a leader; years of adherence to stated values and grueling work building trust.

And that is what the Better Business Bureau did for nearly 100 years.

It takes far less time to destroy or, at the least, badly damage a leadership brand.

And that is what the BBB has done; apparently for money.

Both Friday night’s ABC program and Atty. Gen. Richard Blumenthal’s attack focused on the two-year-old BBB marketing tool to assign letter grades ranging from the low of F to the top A+ rating to hundreds of thousands of businesses.

The marketing tool that is destroying the BBB isn’t sophisticated or subtle—more a case of grades for money.

Old story; buy a membership and raise your grade.

The scheme wasn’t universally popular, but the leadership had the leverage.

Some bureaus also had questions about the plan – developed and tested in the southern California chapter – and refused to follow it. The five chapters finally got with the program after the council threatened to expel them.

The result is betrayal, betrayal of the consumers who trust the ratings, of companies that work hard for good grades and the employees who just work hard.

Pressure; that is what leadership uses when it wants to have its own way, whether the leadership is an organization or an individual. And the leadership always knows exactly what kind of pressure to apply.

What do you do when your leadership starts applying pressure?

Image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/31019817@N02/3254784742/

My apologies if there has been too much politics lately, but you have to admit it’s difficult to avoid when so much of it is tied to “leadership” issues.

Or the lack thereof.

I rarely read op-ed pieces, but the title caught my, Awful, Awfuler, Awfulest; wouldn’t you click on that?

The author, Gail Collins, had written an article debating which state had the worst “leaders” running for election and chose Nevada as the winner.

Immediately, there were outcries from voters who believed their state had been unfairly overlooked on the dreadfulness meter.

Maine has a candidate for governor whose wife and kids live in their “primary residence” in Florida (the the other house is in Maine); Missouri has honors as the state with the least variety, 26 different candidates since 1980 from just two families; Florida has the dubious honor of a gubernatorial candidate whose company was fined $1.7 billion for fraudulent Medicare billing.

She says that in Net York’s race one candidate seems to tie every issue to his opponent’s sex life, while the main opponent doesn’t talk at all and a minor one is a self-proclaimed madam.

Nevada still won and you’ll have to click the link to learn why. (Hint: One of the candidates claims that Dearborn, Mich., and Frankford, Texas (a ghost town) are governed under Sharia, which is Islamic law.)  And take a moment to read some of the 229 comments for more hilarious examples and observations.

Why do we continue to accept acts from those in public service that we would condemn in other circumstances?

Flickr image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/avlxyz/1807572441/

The more I read/hear about leadership the less I understand.

Every day there are stories talking about someone’s good leadership or bad leadership—the adjective determined by whether the author agrees or disagrees with the vision/words/actions.

The stories cross the spectrum—politics, sports, business, religion, civic, non-profit, parenting [whatever].

I think the stories about “bad” leadership annoy me most.

Is a leader bad just because the author disagrees with the vision/words/actions?

If person A aspires to a specific positional leadership role is it enough to disagree with the vision/words/actions of the person currently in that role or does it behoove person A to present a cogent alternative?

Armchair leadership has the same value as Monday morning quarterbacking.

It is far to easier lash out, bash and tear something down, than it is to offer well thought out alternatives.

Emotions are more easily manipulated than minds—especially since ideology has replaced so much of independent thought.

Ideology isn’t just conservative vs. liberal; greed is an ideology, as is me-centric.

I think good leadership requires a more balanced approach, including the ability to say, “I was wrong,” rather than a dogmatic clinging to the vision/words/actions that are steering the ship straight onto the rocks.

What do you think?

Flickr photo credit to: http://www.flickr.com/photos/treehouse1977/3003180321/

Last week’s Quotes were on egotism and I termed it the co-joined twin of arrogance. In other words, egotism is yin to arrogance’s yang.

Arrogance will eventually crash and burn as many corporate chieftains have proven, especially over the last decade.

Not surprising when you consider the words of Samuel Butler, “The truest characters of ignorance are vanity, and pride and arrogance.”

And they certainly prove the Arabian proverb, “Arrogance diminishes wisdom”

Many of the most arrogant believe the popular unwisdom, “It’s only arrogance if you’re wrong.”

Proving David Hume’s sage words, “When men are most sure and arrogant they are commonly most mistaken, giving views to passion without that proper deliberation which alone can secure them from the grossest absurdities.”

And Sydney J. Harris offers an additional view, “Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own.”

But it is Jorge Luis Borges who puts his finger on the true problem, “…the image of the Lord had been replaced by a mirror.”

It would be nice to believe that all those mirrors on Wall Street were smashed in the financial quake, but that is merely wishful thinking.

Flickr photo credit to: http://www.flickr.com/photos/essygie/3898825852/

There is a dangerous assumption out there that ‘leaders’ are chuck full of positive traits and on the side of the angels, but I’m here to tell you that it ain’t necessarily so. Just as leaders come in all shapes, colors and sizes they come with a wide variety of traits, not all of them positive. But it seems as if succession is tough all over.

Italian police have caught the Sicilian Mafia’s number two, the latest in a string of top-level arrests that has given the crime group that once terrified Italy problems with rebuilding its leadership.

The hero CEO who will save the company easily morphs into the imperial CEO. An intelligent, thoughtful opinion piece by Ho Kwon Ping in Singapore considers the dangers of this happening and assumes it will continue in the US—and it probably will.

The leadership of any company is critical to the success of its mission — but no one individual is mission-critical.

Yesterday I wrote Real Leaders are Fair, which means applying rules equally, but that rarely happens, especially when a government is involved and ours is no different. Consider the non-application of a federal law backed by a presidential proclamation that prohibits corrupt foreign officials and their families from receiving American visas. But business interests always seem to trump fairness.

“Of course it’s because of oil,” said John Bennett, the United States ambassador to Equatorial Guinea from 1991 to 1994, adding that Washington has turned a blind eye to the Obiangs’ corruption and repression because of its dependence on the country for natural resources. He noted that officials of Zimbabwe are barred from the United States.

Finally, on a lighter note, I found the answer given by Ask the Coach to this question to be classic.

Q: I am having a difficult time leading my team. The team members will not follow my instructions, which I am sure would make our project much more successful. What am I doing wrong?

A: What you’re doing wrong is very simple: you have simply forgotten that your team is more critical to the success of your project than you are.

Take a moment and read the whole post, I guarantee you’ll like what you learn.

And if you want more of my picks you’ll find them here.

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