I am a ‘why’ person and why is my first reaction to anything that comes my way, no matter the source. It’s not to challenge, just the way my mind works.
When I have no one to ask I tend to creatively come up with the why behind the thought, word or deed. Sometimes I’m right, other times not so much, but it is how I make sense of the world.
‘Why’ is a great way to move forward or challenge prevailing patterns; a way to focus on the underlying dogma in the event it needs to change.
But it is also good to remember that although there is a reason behind everything that happens, reasons do not validate the happening—they do not make [whatever] acceptable.
And that led me to create this Rule.
There is a reason for everything,
but
some reasons are stupid.
Reasons that are, or border on, stupid are reasons to change.
This is one of those rules that everybody knows, but keep trying to circumvent anyway. In fact, people are often so busy editing they forget to create.
What they don’t get is that when you spend your energy on creation and execution you won’t need to worry about editing.
Like you, I’ve been through some pretty rough times. Inevitably, at some point during those dark days, several someones would ask what in the world I found amusing about the situation.
Little did they know I was unconsciously following one of my favorite rules.
Blessed are they that can laugh at themselves for they shall be forever amused.
Just a little FYI; if you’ve read many of my rules you might wonder how I remember them all. The answer is I don’t. What I do is practice them consciously long enough that they are my unconscious response to the appropriate stimulation.
What do you go to bed thinking about; what dominates your dreams; what do you ponder during the day?
Your aches and pains; the gray hair you found; the new outfit you bought, but aren’t sure is right? Do you dwell on the words or email that may be a slight—or maybe not? The colleague you’re not sure likes you; the boss who seems OK, but…?
It’s more than a matter of the glass being half full or half empty.
Like the dog that worries a bone, constantly thinking and talking about anything focuses you on it; prioritizes it and makes it paramount until it dominates all other thoughts.
Focus works in both directions—it can launch you to the heights or toss you into a dungeon of doom—taking your friends with you.
Sometimes when things get tough it helps to have something right in front of you to grab hold of; not so much to keep going, but to help you change course.
Changing course is often the best way to get past a problem; it’s no that you ignore it, rather you approach it from another direction—or find that it’s not necessary and just let it go and move on.
Ten years ago my niece sent me a card that I framed. It’s hung on the wall by my desk at three different locations and it still works.
Do you watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition? I usually have it on Sunday evenings while I’m writing and last night was no exception. For those of you who don’t watch, all the makeovers this season were for ‘heroes’; people who ignored their own situation to give back.
Last night was a makeover for Bernard McFarland, a 37 year old single dad who has become a mentor to all the kids in his neighborhood. He’s a firm believer that ‘knowledge is power’ and that learning and books are the answer to everything. (You can watch it online.)
But what I really like is the slogan he teaches the kids and, obviously, believes himself.
I like it enough to add it to my Rules To Live By (it’s number 24).
I’ve always thought of life as a corridor with dozens of doors opening, each one representing an opportunity.
You may open one or pass them by—it’s your choice.
Each time you do open one and enter that door closes forever and you move down a new corridor full of doors.
The door you entered is sealed because whatever lay behind it changed you, so you can’t go backwards, only forward.
Some people to through life opening as few doors as possible, changing as little as possible and staying as safe as possible.
Others launch themselves through the most interesting doors with gusto, taking advantage of whatever opportunities are concealed and then on to the next door.
In honor of all those who are, or lean to, the latter description I dedicate these two Rules. They are especially apropos today.
Watch for big problems—they disguise big opportunities.
Welcome the unexpected! Opportunities rarely come in neat, predictable packages.
You can’t open every door and you don’t have to stay long if you don’t like what you find, but if you pass straight through never opening any doors you’ll stay in pristine condition and you don’t really want to arrive at the end as untouched as you were when you started—do you?
Entrepreneurs face difficulties that are hard for most people to imagine, let alone understand. You can find anonymous help and connections that do understand at 7 cups of tea.
Crises never end.
$10 really does make a difference and you’ll never miss it,
I am a ‘why’ person and why is my first reaction to anything that comes my way, no matter the source. It’s not to challenge, just the way my mind works.
Sometimes when things get tough it helps to have something right in front of you to grab hold of; not so much to keep going, but to help you change course.
