Learning to Converse
by Miki Saxon
I’ve written a lot on the both the why and how of face-to-face communications, so today will be a short post, with links to previous content.
Do you wonder why 69% of managers aren’t comfortable talking with their team?
Perhaps it’s because they aren’t comfortable talking period.
What’s going on? What happened to verbal communications a la conversation?
It’s not just tech, although tech has made it much worse.
Modern managers have avoided discussions with employees, especially about performance issues.
Before computers they tried to manage by memo; post computer by email and most recently by texting. None of them work.
Problem 1: screens kill empathy and empathy underlies all positive human interactions.
Solution: Turn off your screens. And if you believe everything will fall apart if you are unavailable for 20 minutes here and 40 minutes there each day then your organization is in far worse shape than you realize.
Problem 2: AMS; it stands for assumption, manipulation, self-fulfilling prophesy.
Solution: Build internal awareness of your AMS (we all do it), then work to control it. Don’t try to completely eradicate it; it’s a waste of effort.
Problem 3: Two-way street.
Solution: Learn to listen, not just hear. Active listening is at least 50%, often more; if you talk, but don’t listen it isn’t a conversation.
Good communicating is like writing good code.
You can study it forever, but eventually you need to get out there and just do it.
And the more proficient you become the more you will enjoy it.
Scary? Sure.
But not nearly as scary as stunting your future, both at work and in your wider world.
Image credit: Flickinpicks
