Parents’ lousy leadership
by Miki SaxonThe last half of CandidProf’s post yesterday made me queasy, especially when he said, “In the city where I live, the local suburban school district had a case of a mathematics teacher who was noted for being far tougher than other teachers. The parents of the students in this teacher’s class complained that their kids were working too hard. The teacher gave far too much homework. Too many of her students did not pass. Eventually she was fired.”
In many cases these are the same parents who babble on about their strong ethical/religious (take your choice of which) principals and moral superiority and are oh-so-quick with their judgments of others.
They are the same ones who scream at the coach for not letting their child play; condemn the teacher when their child’s grades aren’t up to their expectations; complain that the boss is incompetent when their child is fired for poor performance.
Supposedly it’s parents’ responsibility to lead their children by providing a value structure, encouraging/supporting their growth and doing all those other leadership things about which we’re constantly reading.
I say supposedly because based on the very visible results very few are actually doing it.
The bad old times when the assumption was that the child is always wrong have been replaced with the assumption that everybody is wrong except the child—as long as the child is theirs and the family is of an acceptable social level with enough economic power to insist.
I’m not saying the old way was good, but it did produce stronger character than having every bump in the road smoothed out for you.
But, then, the children long ago stopped taking their direction from adults, preferring the advice and ‘wisdom’ of their peers.
The problem is that advice sans judgment; a false belief that whatever they screw up their parents can/will fix; or a strong ‘the rules apply to everybody but me’ attitude can have serious reprecussions.
So where exactly are we headed?
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October 22nd, 2008 at 9:31 pm
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