Plumbing Is No Reason To Trust
by Miki SaxonFor all the talk about bullying, one dirty little secret is just starting to see the light of day.
Bullies are split 60/40 (men/women), but while men are equal opportunity bullies—they stomp on anyone— women are more likely to bully other women “more than 70 percent of the time.”
That doesn’t surprise me, all my life I’ve always gotten more mentoring and support from men than I have from women.
I’ve seen too many women crushed because whatever was done to them was done by another woman, so there was a major betrayal factor added to whatever else was involved.
I never bought into the whole sisterhood thing. It just never made any sense to me to that 50% of the population could be trusted because we all had the same plumbing and the other 50% were enemies because theirs was different.
No more sense than assuming that other external differences, such as race, religion or sexual orientation, guarantee a trustworthy ally.
Bullies pick on those they see as weaker and less likely to fight back, so while I was never bullied I was targeted for more sabotage because I was perceived as a threat—or maybe sabotage qualifies as bullying.
Thinking back, most of the people termed bullies and chauvinists were weak, petty and insecure, so I pretty much ignored them.
I’ve always tended to look beyond surface appearance, probably in the hope that my attitude would be reciprocated.
For me it’s minds and MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™) that have value—what does it for you?
Your comments—priceless
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Image credit: nygma on sxc.hu
May 15th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
For me, it’s looking at how people treat others. I’m really attracted to the kinds of people who are connectors – they have a network of people, ideas, or information and are constantly looking out for ways to connect others with people and information that will help everybody out.
A recent friend has really inspired me in this way, and I’ve been going out of my way lately to be a connector. Michael Port talked about this in Book Yourself Solid.
May 15th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Hi Gen, that’s a good approach, one that doesn’t make assumptions based on externals. I tend to do that a bit, but having a less trusting nature I check to see if the connecting is universal or only when it might be beneficial to the connector.
Thanks for stopping by and adding your thoughts!