Golden Oldies: Cope or Control (That is the Question)
by Miki SaxonIt’s amazing to me, but looking back over more than a decade of writing I find posts that still impress, with information that is as useful now as when it was written.
Golden Oldies are a collection of what I consider some of the best posts during that time.
We live in stressful times. Escalating political discord, both in the US and abroad, disappearing jobs due to technology and disruption of those that are left; bullying has reached new heights and FOMO is on the rise — and there is nothing you can do to control any of it. However, it is within your power to choose how you respond to the stress factors in your life.
Read other Golden Oldies here.
Stress is bad, right?
Bad for your health, bad for your relationships, bad for your life.
Or is it?
Actually stress can be a positive motivator.
So perhaps it’s not stress, but how we handle it.
The article may be looking at kids, but kids grow up to be adults and genetic traits come along for the ride.
One particular gene, referred to as the COMT gene, could to a large degree explain why one child is more prone to be a worrier, while another may be unflappable, or in the memorable phrasing of David Goldman, a geneticist at the National Institutes of Health, more of a warrior.
Granted, the researchers were looking at short-term, i.e., competitive stress, but the solution was still the same as it is for stress that lasts longer. (The COMT gene also has a major impact on interviewing.)
They found a way to cope.
For many people stress is the result of losing control.
But if there is anything experience should have taught you by a very early age is that you can’t control your world; not even a tiny part of it.
I learned that lesson as a child of five when my father died and nothing ever happened after that to change my mind.
If you put your energy into controlling stuff to avoid stress you are bound to fail.
Energy spent on control is energy wasted.
Energy focused on coping provides exceptional ROI.
Image credit: Eamon Curry
