Ducks in a Row: Seeing Ourselves Clearly
by Miki Saxon
A few weeks ago Wharton professor Adam Grant wrote Dear Men: Wake Up and Smell the Inequality focusing on why men can’t seem to wrap their heads around gender inequality.
In corporate America, 88% of men think women have at least as many opportunities to advance as men.
This is the finding of a major new study—almost 30,000 employees across 118 companies—by LeanIn.org and McKinsey & Company.
Just 12% of men felt that women had fewer opportunities to advance in their organizations.
Today, KG Charles-Harris sent a link to an article by Marshall Goldsmith about suck-ups, with an underlying focus on how easily we see traits in others, but not in ourselves. (I call it ‘but me’)
Almost all of the leaders I have met say that they would never encourage such a thing in their organizations. I have no doubt that they are sincere. Most of us are easily irritated–if not disgusted–by derriere kissers. Which raises a question: If leaders say they discourage sucking up, why does it happen so often? Here’s a straightforward answer: Without meaning to, we all tend to create an environment where people learn to reward others with accolades that aren’t really warranted. We can see this very clearly in other people. We just can’t see it in ourselves.
And that brings us to MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™).
MAP, in case you’ve forgotten, is what underlies and drives all our thoughts and actions.
While not seeing things in ourselves may be fundamental to our MAP, that doesn’t mean we can’t change it.
To do so is a choice, yours and no one else’s.
Choice is the most valuable thing that any of us have and it’s the most painful to lose.
Remember Dumbledore? He summed it up perfectly.
“It is our choices that show us what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, p 333)
Flickr image credit: Peter O’Connor
