Quotable Quotes: Dear Abby
by Miki SaxonThe people who pay me to write do so because I have the skill of brevity. Writing is an art and artists are quick to cite those who most influenced their talent. I’m no different and Pauline Phillips, AKA Abigail Van Buren, AKA Dear Abby, who died Wednesday, was a huge influence growing up. I read her every day and her skill creating pithy, answers that said it all in very few words. Although often irreverent her answers were still empathetic and never hurtful or sarcastic. She impressed me no end and I’ve done my best to absorb it into my own style, although I’m not nearly as good at it.
A favorite I couldn’t find was in response to a 32 year old woman who wondered if it was too late to become a doctor, because it takes 10 years and she would be 43 by the time she was licensed. Abby’s response? Yes, it would take 10 years, and yes, she would be 43, however, in 10 years she would be 43 no matter what she did.
Here are some others that I was able to find.
Dear Abby: Our son married a girl when he was in the service. They were married in February and she had an 8½-pound baby girl in August. She said the baby was premature. Can an 8½-pound baby be this premature?— Wanting to Know
Dear Wanting: The baby was on time. The wedding was late. Forget it.Dear Abby: A woman who was married for 46 years wrote a long story about how hard her husband was to live with. She asked you whether she should choose divorce or suicide. You told her divorce was preferable. Are you married to a divorce lawyer, Abby?” — Nosy ”
Dear Nosy: No. Are you married to an undertaker?”Dear Abby: My wife sleeps in the raw. Then she showers, brushes her teeth and fixes our breakfast — still in the buff. We’re newlyweds and there are just the two of us, so I suppose there’s really nothing wrong with it. What do you think? — Ed
Dear Ed: It’s O.K. with me. But tell her to put on an apron when she’s frying bacon.Dear Abby: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Have you any suggestions? — M. J. B. in Oakland, Calif.
Dear M. J. B.: Yes. Run for a public office.
And as someone who lived with her gay friends on Nob Hill 30-odd years ago this is my all time favorite.
Dear Abby: Two men who claim to be father and adopted son just bought an old mansion across the street and fixed it up. We notice a very suspicious mixture of company coming and going at all hours — blacks, whites, Orientals, women who look like men and men who look like women. This has always been considered one of the finest sections of San Francisco, and these weirdos are giving it a bad name. How can we improve the neighborhood? — Nob Hill Residents
Dear Residents: You could move.
Finally, a short interview between Larry King and Dear Abby.
Image credit: CNN
