Honing “CEO skills” isn’t just for CEOs—it’s for every manager who wants to do a better job and every employee who wants to be promoted.

Sure, you may not know as much, or have access to, the same information as the boss, but don’t let that stop you.

It’s similar to managing a fantasy sports team, you know all the easy information and a little research usually gives you a lot more with which to work.

You can make it even more interesting and fun by recruiting colleagues to choose other companies to shadow and compete.

Whatever level you’re at, you may know a lot about your company already and a lot more is in the public domain.

What’s most important in running a company? Obviously, the list below isn’t everything, but it does offer ten of the most important things to get you started running the fantasy version of the company you choose.

• You may not be a CFO, but you better know your numbers: where they come from, how they interact, and where they’re going. This includes knowing/learning to read financial statements, annual reports, etc.
• No matter what your career path, know about your company’s market (no matter how cool and cutting-edge your service, product or e-concept is) so you can understand who buys it and why, what the competition offers and how your company products or services differ.
• Every successful company must have a competitive edge, whether it’s unique products/services, pricing advantages, company culture (think Zappos), etc. Learn how to define your company’s competitive edge and understand how to communicate it clearly to the whole company so that everyone is focused on making it happen.
• Clearly identify the goals of the company, then work to turn them into specifics. Assure buy-in by making sure employees understand the interaction among their goals, the company’s goals, and those of other people.
• Hire the smartest people available and give them an environment that enables them to produce; then watch your company’s strengths increase in direct proportion to your people’s growth. Remember, people are most productive if they know, and help determine, their work and the range of their control.
• Make sure that there’s an obvious and direct relationship between the rewards people receives—salary, stock, bonuses, medals, whatever—and the success of the company. The biggest rewards should go to those who understand the company’s goals and ethically do whatever it takes to achieve them.
• Create a culture in which the messenger is never shot; that way you’ll always get the earliest possible warning of potential problems.
• You set the tone of the organization. If you’re political, secretive, nitpicking, or querulous, then that’s how your organization will be, because, no matter what, employees will always do as you do, not as you say.
• Never criticize an employee in the presence of others. Praise in public, criticize in private.
• Companies are like tripods, with customers, investors, and employees each representing a leg. If you don’t pay equal attention to each the company will tip over.

Track your choices, decisions and actions against the reality. Give yourself a high five when your ideas pan out, and learn when they don’t.

You’ll be amazed at how fast the learning from your fantasy business pays off in your real work!

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Based on reader reactions, last week’s wisdom quotes were a hit; as promised, here are the rest.

There are many wise words attributed to Chinese Proverbs and these certainly qualify, “A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion.” These days, public opinion vies with “leaders” for the same followers—those who don’t want to bother thinking for themselves.

Bill Cosby has the right response to that, “A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need the advice.” Of course, they don’t listen, but that never stopped anyone from trying.

Following Gandhi’s teaching is a good way to move towards wisdom, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” Now, that is really smart advice, ensures that you have a great past, a wonderful present, and is the closest you can come to guaranteeing the future.

Leo F. Buscaglia said, “We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn’t. Success often lies just the other side of failure,” and I think he’s on to something. As dark as things seem now we’re all going to emerge from this stronger.

Abraham Lincoln really understood that; he said, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” Too bad so many on and around Wall Street failed that test, but it does take us full circle to the proverb that started this week and a powerful motivation to make your own decisions.

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Sometimes we amaze ourselves. Not because someone else says something, but because we revisit something we did a week or a month or longer in the past and we see it from the outside—and we are amazed.

We look at it and marvel; the quality and execution impresses; the inherent value surprises; and we revel in the fact that it is our creation.

It doesn’t matter what it is, big or small; whether it was produced at work or elsewhere; it doesn’t even matter if anyone else will ever see it.

We look and we are amazed.

This happens to me when I read something I wrote a month, a year, a decade ago. Not everything, but more than I would expect.

It doesn’t matter if anyone else agrees or says anything, although it’s great when they do, but I read and am amazed.

Today I want to share my amazement with you.

A few months ago I received an email from the editor of The Conference Board Review inviting me to submit an article for the next issue.

The Conference Board Review is the quarterly magazine of The Conference Board, the world’s preeminent business membership and research organization. Founded in 1976, TCB Review is a magazine of ideas and opinion that raises tough questions about leading-edge issues at the intersection of business and society.

And not just for the online version, but to appear in the actual magazine.

When I opened the hard copy and read my article that is when the real amazement hit.

The article is called Management vs. Leadership and is the second of four articles on leadership. I hope you’ll take time to read them all, then come back and comment.

One more thing, just for the thrill of it, review things you did in the past and be amazed.

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Every day we make choices and, as kids, learning to make wise ones is one on the most important things that should happen as we grow.

But it doesn’t always happen.

The great thing is that you can change and learn to make good choices at any time in your life—it is an integral part of leading yourself.

One of the most important choices anyone makes is found in the people they choose to have as part of their life.

Although I could write my own ideas of what that means, I’d like to share something I received from a friend. I can’t find who the author is, so I’ll credit the prolific Anon.

Everyone Can’t Be in Your Front Row

Life is a theater – invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is spiritually healthy and mature enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.

It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships/fellowships!

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you? When you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

You cannot change the people around you…but you can change the people you are around! Choose wisely the people who sit in the front row of your life.

Copy the last sentence and tape it to your monitor and the bathroom mirror; forward the post to every person you care about—not with a lecture, but with a hug; discuss it’s meaning with your kids—they are never too young to learn this.

Take a long, hard look at who sits in your front row; if you don’t want them there you don’t need to have a major confrontation, just quietly lower their priority in your life and assign them to a seat at the back—even if they have you in their front row.

I know that I’m in the front row of several people who sit in the rear of my audience, but I say nothing, because nothing would be gained. They would be deeply hurt for no reason; they have little-to-no impact on me because they are far back and where they choose to seat me is none of my business.

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Click to see what interferes with practically everything

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I think the greatest compliment anyone can receive is to have something they say be deemed ‘wise’ by those around them. It has happened to me a few times and, to be honest, blew me away.

So I went looking for quotes about wisdom and found so many good ones that I’ll post the rest next week.

The thing about wisdom is that it transcends street smarts and learning. As Sandra Carey says, “Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.”

Wisdom, like charity, begins at home; Gian Carlo Menotti put it this way, “A man only becomes wise when he begins to calculate the approximate depth of his ignorance.”

Anon clarifies that advice and takes it a step further, “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”

Plato said, “Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” Maybe that explains all those talking heads and sound bites that pass for wisdom these days.

Once you achieve even a modicum of wisdom you can’t count on it being permanent. Kahlil Gibran understood that when he said, “Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.”

But, as usual, at least for me, it’s Lao Tzu who really hits the nail on wisdom’s head, “Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.” Sadly, it seems that the higher you go the fewer people take the time for enlightenment.

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Yesterday I shared emails from a reader who, at the end of the day, realized that he was over-reacting, his boss was insanely busy and nothing was wrong.

Today I want to share another story with you, only this one happened shortly after I entered the workforce.

There were seven of us in the office, everyone pulled their weight and we were a very congenial group often going out together for lunch or a drink after work.

One day “Jenny” didn’t come in and the next day she was late. Over the next few months she became cranky and very touchy. Her work slipped and the rest of us found ourselves picking up the slack. People started grumbling and, as they always do, the grumbles got back to our boss.

Fortunately, we had a very smart, proactive boss. He called a brief meeting on a morning that Jenny was absent and explained to us that her mother had been diagnosed with cancer; she was getting treatment, but in the meantime Jenny had to fill in for her.

We all knew that Jen had two younger sisters and that her dad had been out of the picture for years, so suddenly the dark circles, grouchiness, and missed days all started making sense. He told us that Jenny hadn’t said anything because she wasn’t looking for pity and the best thing we could do was to wait until she told us herself. In the meantime, he would appreciate it if we would desist from the grumbling and not-so-subtle comments.

That episode taught me a great lesson.

From then on, when someone didn’t do as expected or let me down in some way, my memory would flash to Jenny and I would take a deep breath and stomp on my reaction, because I didn’t know what was going on in their world.

I’d love to say that I always did this, but that would be a lie. But the older I got the more successful I was and I never regretted it. If the behavior continued I look for reasons and more often than not I found them.

Sure, there were times nothing was wrong and the person was just taking advantage of me and others, but more often they were under the gun, whether a derringer or a bazooka, and I was glad I didn’t make it worse.

So the next time someone lets you down, think about Jenny and cut them some slack; you’ll be glad you did.

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I want to share a series of email with you today because they show up a very important point and apply to employees at all levels. The emails are from ‘Brian’, an aMillennial, who writes me on and off when he wants a sounding board or, at times, advice.

Before I had time to respond to the first one, the next two had arrived.

Hey Miki, I just want your opinion on this…

I had just finished a large project that had been assigned to me by my boss’s boss.  I had completed it last week, doubled up on my work, went over it with my boss, and gotten it approved to bring in front of HIS boss.  So we do, she liked it, end of that story.  This report was to be presented to some important people within the company during a meeting that was on Monday.  That same day I got this request from my boss to make printouts of some pages – actually, 6 custom printouts.  Basically this was to be about 6 copies of a 10-12 page packet.  He to add headers to my project spreadsheet (which was 8 worksheets) and get those printed out for the big meeting.  I said “Alright, I can do that” and began my task. He was setting me up for failure.

10-15 minutes later he comes rushing up to my desk asking for the printouts.  I wasn’t finished because I had to make a custom header for 8 worksheets, print out about 60 pages of about 4 different files (while other people were printing), and then customize the packets for each of the individuals in the meeting.  This didn’t sit well with him and he made some snarky comment like “How long does it take to print out some sheets? Jeeze.” Fast-forward to today and he hasn’t spoken to me unless I speak to him first (which was once and it was a simple question).

The kicker is he has a printer on his desk, the files are online, and everyone has a laptop.

So I feel I was set up for disaster.  I am the lowest paid in the department, the most tech-savvy, and a pretty well-rounded employee…except for the fact that I just got out of college and need more

Direction than your average employee, it feels like I am on the verge of getting fired… or sorry, I mean “rolled off” – I forgot contractors can’t get “fired.”

Miki

He recently (about 30 minutes ago) sent me an email stating: “Please take a look at this and make an action item log (excel) ….I want you to help me ensure that all of these items get completed.  Bring this to the 3:30 meeting as well (if you can have it by then)”

This is a list of about 8 items… does this come across as condescending to you?  I really don’t have any other tasks at the moment and I asked him for more stuff to do.  I finished it in 10 minutes… if that.

Is this a reasonable assumption or am I being melodramatic?

Well I have a meeting with him at 3:30 today to talk about some documents I have edited – it is an hour meeting.  I am hoping he will bring something up then.  At this point I am in “freak out” mode.

After reading these three, my response was, Freaking out will only upset your digestion:) Treat this like any class you took with a tough teacher. Listen carefully and try not to interpret as you do. Doing that will make you miss stuff. And don’t freak if he doesn’t bring anything up. We can talk on your way home.

Hey Miki – I talked with my boss and he has just been INCREDIBLY busy – maybe I am over-analyzing.  I may give you a call tomorrow – I think I should just sleep things off.

Brian’s realization that it was his boss’ schedule as opposed to his (Brian’s) work that was at the bottom of what happened is the first step to intelligent adulthood—a state at which many folks never arrive.

No matter your age or position, the unanswered email, the unreturned phone call, the forgotten whatever often have nothing to do with you, but everything to do with what is happening in the other person’s life.

So before you freak out or get down on a person take the time to find out what’s going on in their world; most of the time you’ll want to cut them some slack.

More on this tomorrow at Ducks In A Row.

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When you’re the leader, the person out front, you need to motivate and to achieve a commitment from your people you need more than a vision—your people need to know that they matter and that you believe in them. And they need to know before the fact—you can’t wait until they prove themselves by their actions. You need to trust them before they will trust you; the ball always starts in your court.

The US Navel Academy prides itself on teaching leadership, but the students you’ll see in this video haven’t realized yet that what they learn in class needs to permeate their MAP, their entire life and every thing they do to be truly authentic.

Watch the video and think about what kind of reception Kings Firecracker should have received based on the first paragraph.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2WK44cH2J0]

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Last Friday I wrote Narcissism and Leadership and how much narcissism has increased over the last few years.

I’ve never understood the preoccupation with the glitterati, but I have wondered how much our celebrity-worshiping culture affects kids?

According to Drew Pinsky MD, AKA, Dr. Drew on radio and TV, and S. Mark Young, a social scientist it may be especially dangerous for young people, who view celebrities as role models.

“They are the sponges of our culture. Their values are now being set. Are they really the values we want our young people to be absorbing? … It harkens back to the question of how much are young people affected by models of social learning. Humans are the only animals who learn by watching other humans.”

Worse than dysfunctional celebs is our penchant for making heroes out of the bad guys.

18 year-old, 6-foot-5, 200-pound “Colton Harris-Moore is suspected in about 50 burglary cases since he slipped away from a halfway house in April 2008. Now, authorities say, he may have adopted a more dangerous hobby: stealing airplanes.”

Adin Stevens of Seattle is selling T-shirts celebrating him and there is a fan club on Facebook.

I’m not surprised, in a world where serial killers have groupies and people fight for souvenirs of death-row inmates it figures that they’re going to romanticize someone who manages to not get caught.

But what makes me ill are his mother’s comments, “I hope to hell he stole those airplanes – I would be so proud,” Pam Kohler said, noting her son’s lack of training. “But put in there that I want him to wear a parachute next time.”

It’s tough enough to grow up these days; it’s tougher in a dysfunctional home or in areas that are gang-controlled, but what kid stands a chance with parents like this?

What can we do? Where can we find more positive role models that have the glamour that mesmerizes kids and grownups alike?

When will we glorify function instead of dysfunction? Meaning instead of money?

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