Have you been trying to read our blogs?
Have you found the traffic clogged?
Did the error messages confuse you?
Are you so mad that we might lose you?

Please don’t be mad, don’t spit nails
The servers glitched and everything bailed
Out Ninja techs worked so hard
Their keyboards melted and are charred

As for us, bloggers all
We have no recourse except to bawl
We can write but we can’t post
And server errors do not engross

We beg of you to cut us slack
Until our Ninja’s bring us back
We guarantee it’ll be worth your while
Because our words they do beguile.

Jim Gordon at BossHatch and I are competing for the procrastination crown and it started me thinking (always a dangerous event). I realized that, assuming you accept our premise that procrastination doesn’t equate to irresponsibility, i.e., deadlines are met and commitments are honored, there are two kinds of procrastination:

Finite procrastination involves putting a project off as long as possible before getting it done.

Infinite procrastination is pure mañana, meaning an unspecified future time.

We both excel at the first, but I still believe that I trump Jim on the second.

• It was more than six months between noticing that the stabilizing rubber washers on the toilet seat were worn out and the seat was wiggly and spending the five minutes it took to change them. The impetus to do it came when the seat almost slid off.
• My favorite winter pants have been sitting on the sewing machine waiting to be mended (about a 20 minute job) for a couple of months. They’re on the to-do list for the weekend—as they have been for the last eight.
• The new slacks I bought last spring are still waiting to be altered.
• There are at least five items I was given over the last six years that are waiting to be hung (about a 30 minute task).
• I have seed packets bought when I moved here (2003) that I really do plan to plant this spring. I doubt that the seeds from my San Mateo move in 2000 will grow, but I might try them anyway.
• They go with the six bags of mulch also bought in 2003—does mulch have an expiration date?
• I have a new HP Officejet still in its box, since I haven’t needed to print or fax—yet.

The list is endless, but you get the idea.

I once bought a book on procrastination, but tossed it. I think it had six chapters, the first three telling you how to know if you were a procrastinator, the next two telling you why you procrastinated and the last one saying that you should stop. Duh.

What are some of your infinite procrastinations?

Your comments—priceless

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Background: Jim Gordon, who writes BossHatch, is a twenty-something who actually enjoys talking on the phone (I love talking on the phone:) and I really enjoy our conversations. I also love Jim since he recently took pity on me and kindly designed a new logo for Leadership Turn (launching soon—I hope).

Jim and I were having one of our ‘call me about X’ conversations that end up covering at least a dozen other topics. (Hey, we’re both interesting people.) In passing Jim said that he procrastinated and I said that in comparison to me he was a rank amateur.

We argued it a bit and I said I was going to write it about it, yet with no deadline I thought I’d do it next week. But Mr. Non-procrastinator did his today, so here I am doing mine for tomorrow, so we can link and do good things for our traffic.

First, I agree with Jim about the difference between procrastination and irresponsibility—my solution is to avoid as many commitments and deadlines as possible—a talent I’ve honed for years and at which I’m very good.

The most hilarious part of Jim’s post was when he said, “When talking to Miki, she mentioned her technique of writing everything a day (or even a week) in advance. As incredibly organized and efficient that method seems – writing articles at the last second just seems like the right thing to do – it feels natural.”

It was so funny I sent it to my sister and got back a note that said, “Miki and organized is an oxymoron.” (My big sister is the organized one.)

It was a misunderstanding. It’s Kelly and Bob who’ve been talking about how doing extra posts ahead makes it easier to meet b5’s contractual requirements their when they get busy. I’ve never been organized enough to write that far ahead.

I only recently managed to start writing tomorrow’s post today—mainly because I found that having it go live at 6 AM EST instead of 3 PM (I’m on the west coast) increased my paycheck, which motivates me.

I lived for 23 years in San Francisco, then three in San Mateo and I’ve been here nearly four years and still have some stuff that that’s never been unpacked or used. I like it too much to get rid of it and one of these days…

So, who wins the procrastination crown, Jim or I?

Your comments—priceless

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OK, I admit it, I enjoy it when a pundit sticks his foot in his mouth and ends up with egg on his face—even if I have to wait a whole year for it to happen. It helps me put my own goofs in perspective. Here, courtesy of Business Week, are my favorites ordered my way, but including their BW rankings.

12 “But [it] is very likely that oil prices will range in the medium term around an average of $40…. In the long run it could even be $25 to $30.”

LORD BROWNE, CEO, BP, June 12, 2006. Oil prices averaged $70-plus a barrel in 2007.

5 “We do notexpect significant spillovers from the subprime market to the rest of the economy or to the financial system.”

BEN BERNANKE, Federal Reserve Chairman, May 17, 2007. A global credit crunch began three months later.

3 “The media’s great love affair with the Nintendo Wii is beginning to sour…. There are whispers that the device is tiring and gimmicky.”

TYLER TODD, video-game columnist, The Gazette (Montreal), Oct. 14, 2006. Press reviews stayed positive in 2007, and buyers stood in line for the console for the second year in a row.

4 “AMZN is a stock that continues to live on borrowed time.”

TIM BOYD, Caris & Co. analyst in a report about the stock of Amazon.com on Oct. 26, 2006, when the company’s shares were at 38.50. On Dec. 17, 2007, Amazon shares were trading at 85.09.

9 “The steady improvement in [home] sales will support price appreciation…[despite]…all the wild projections by academics, Wall Street analysts, and others in the media.”

DAVID LEREAH, chief economist, National Association of Realtors, Jan. 10, 2007. Housing prices steadily worsened, falling even farther than many skeptics had predicted.

Now look at what you predicted that didn’t come true. Isn’t it great? There’s no way any of us got our feet further into our mouths than these guys.

What’s your favorite foot-in-mouth experience?

Your comments—priceless

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Here’s a great sentiment for all of us this year. Print it out and tape it where you can’t miss it—you probably won’t need it right away, but it’s ability to inspire will increase dramatically as the year goes on!

What are you doing to break out of your box this year?

Your comments—priceless

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I love writing rhymes, but I take no credit for this one. Business Week’s Marc Miller, as edited by Deborah Stead did a terrific job encompassing Business2007 in this witty, slightly irreverent rhyme.

Many Happier Returns
2007, Christmastime:

The season may seem, well, sub-prime.
It’s hard to keep up calm composures
Totting up last week’s foreclosures,
Nor do sunken CDOs
Inspire hearty ho-ho-hos.
Add to those a plunging buck:
How long will it be out of luck?
But for a nanosec, what say
We stow the doom and gloom away
And summon better times, not worse,
With this, a modest yuletide verse,
A yuletide verse that for a change’ll
Not be penned by Roger Angell:
Many happier returns
To Merrill, Citi, and Bear Stearns.
To Ford, a hybrid SUV
That gets 100 mpg.
To Apple, after iPhone/iPod,
One more smash to form a tripod.
For 3M, at least a mockup
Of some goo that sends your stock up.
Amazon: We pray the wind’ll
Fill your sails as you launch Kindle,
And let’s hope those inkjets might
Make Eastman Kodak’s picture bright.
May the 787
Rocket Boeing’s stock to heaven,
And, in going still more global,
Please get greener, ExxonMobil.
Motorola, time has flown;
May you get past the 3G phone,
And may the cash flow stay as free
At IBM and P&G.
Biofood, please be Viagra,
Lifting profits at ConAgra.
Post-misguided market hype,
May eBay soon bounce back from Skype.
May Walt Disney’s wish be granted,
That its grosses stay Enchanted.
Anyway, of this we’re certain:
Nothing will harm Halliburton.
On a human scale, a thankee
To Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke;
Keeping rates so calibrated
Isn’t easy, as you’ve stated.
Let a rum and Coke be sent
To new Coke honcho Muhtar Kent,
While Howard Schultz, we hope that Starbucks
Still pulls in the coffee-bar bucks.
Richard Branson, further glory
Spreading Virgin territory
(Hope you’re not in for a shock
Should you acquire Northern Rock).
Google’s looking pretty fit;
We hope it stays so, Eric Schmidt,
But if you find you have to rough it,
Rough it à la Warren Buffett.
Let more Hockneys be bestowed
On Eli Broad (it rhymes with “road”),
While for Jeff Zucker, this we’d like,
A swift end to the writers’ strike.
Martha Stewart, season’s greeting;
How’s that linzer torte you’re eating?
Share a piece with Jerry Yang,
Who’s talking shop with Dennis Hwang,
But don’t give one to Roger Ailes,
You’ll tip the fair-and-balanced scales.
Here’s a hope not too much work’ll
Spoil the season for Ron Burkle,
Nor will hours on the phone
Keep Christmastime from John Malone.
Lastly, heartfully expressed:
Rupert Murdoch, take a rest.
For us working stiffs, well, peace,
And no more U.S. debt increase,
A White House race that’s not just ads
Or faux debates or hanging chads.
For readers, Web or otherwise,
A font that doesn’t strain your eyes,
And no more news of Britney Spears
For 10, no, make that 50, years.
For well-behaving girls and boys,
A sleigh of not-from-China toys.
May hooked-on-Facebook teens find smiles
In umptymillion Facebook files.
Us fortysomethings hope we gaze
On ever-swelling IRAs,
And may well-heeled retirees
Survive those 401(k) fees.

Have a happy, celebrate,
And see you in 2008.

Have you written any good (or otherwise) rhymes lately? Share them—please!

Your comments—priceless

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I wish you a day full of

love and laughter

and may 2008 be filled to the brim with

health, happiness, wealth and satisfaction!!!

Have you ever noticed how often your friends lead/wheedle/cajole/beg/push/drag-you-kicking-and-screaming into trying new things? Especially things that aren’t your thing! Scott Allen, whom I dearly love, over at Linked Intelligence is such a friend. Scott did all of the above and finally got me to start blogging, join the LinkedInBloggers yahoo egroup, recommended me to b5, taught me great ways to use LinkedIn (now I just have to DO it) and now tagged me for the current game of meme. That means I have to come up with seven random things about me that you probably don’t know, would find interesting and that I’m willing to share. The first two are easy; it’s the third that keeps sticking. OK <deep breath> here goes nothing…

1. I’m a Luddite wannabe. This is pretty hilarious considering that I run my company online and I’m content webmaster for both VC Taskforce and my own company.
2. I’ve never visited Facebook, MySpace (other than to register my email address after I read that they were being hijacked to use there) or Twitter and my infrequent YouTube visits are the result of links sent by my friends. I’m so far out of pop culture that I might well be from another planet.
3. I love to talk on the phone. Feel free to call me and say hi (866.265.7267), just please remember that I’m on Pacific time—5 am calls do not float my boat!
4. My first name is deeply buried; my middle name is Michael, hence Miki. In elementary school, when it was still spelled Mickey, they always assigned me to boys’ gym class, but I was too young to appreciate it. I changed the spelling with the rise of the Mickey Mouse Club (I really do hate that song).
5. For some unremembered reason I studied cosmetology, but after getting licensed realized that I couldn’t stand working with women all day (I’m older than you think and had nothing in common with the general run of beauty shop patrons back then—for which I’m eternally grateful), so I worked instead for a funeral home making dead people presentable for viewing. Believe it or not, the great State of Colorado required a full cosmetology license to do this.
6. I sold dune buggy kits, built, and occasionally raced, my own buggy, and even helped in the manufacture. We used layered sheets of fiberglass that were hand rolled to avoid air pockets and ended up a quarter of an inch thick, unlike the Corvettes of that era where the glass was chopped and blown into one side of a mold and then the sides were squished together. I loved demonstrating ours to skeptical buyers. I’d take a hammer and pound as hard as possible on the metal flake finish, and then let them do it. Try that on a Vette sometime.
7. When I lived in California I had eight aquariums ranging in size from 100 gallons to a custom-built 20 gallon room divider tank that was only six inches deep. I inherited my first aquarium from my nieces. What I didn’t know at the time was that they’re similar to rabbits—they multiply if you’re not careful. When I moved I donated it all to Steinhart Aquarium in San Francisco.

Of course, the best part of playing tag is when you get to do the tagging. OK, guys, you’re it!

Buddies at b5

• Darlene @ Interview Chatter
• Geoff @ Knuckle Curve
• Celine @ Pimp Your Work
• Liz @ Successful Blog
• Brian @ Copy Blogger

And two very cool outsiders

• Raven @ Raven’s Brain
• Wendy @ eMoms as Home