While success is most people’s goal, how they define it varies widely.

A couple of weeks ago Clay Christensen, who pioneered disruption theory and wrote The Innovator’s Dilemma, died.

KG sent me an a16z editorial about his effect on business, but I think the 2010 HBR interview called How Will You Measure Your Life? is much better when it comes to success.

Why?

Because it lays out his business principles tweaked so a person could build a personal culture that would assure happiness.

When the members of the [HBS] class of 2010 entered business school, the economy was strong and their post-graduation ambitions could be limitless. Just a few weeks later, the economy went into a tailspin. They’ve spent the past two years recalibrating their worldview and their definition of success.

In the spring, Harvard Business School’s graduating class asked HBS professor Clay Christensen to address them—but not on how to apply his principles and thinking to their post-HBS careers. The students wanted to know how to apply them to their personal lives.

The students had a front row seat to watch the economy go from hot to frigid, which taught them that careers weren’t everything.

On the last day of class, I ask my students to turn those theoretical lenses on themselves, to find cogent answers to three questions: First, how can I be sure that I’ll be happy in my career? Second, how can I be sure that my relationships with my spouse and my family become an enduring source of happiness? Third, how can I be sure I’ll stay out of jail? Though the last question sounds lighthearted, it’s not. Two of the 32 people in my Rhodes scholar class spent time in jail. Jeff Skilling of Enron fame was a classmate of mine at HBS. These were good guys—but something in their lives sent them off in the wrong direction.

Three simple questions, but three that few people, let alone MBA students, especially those at Harvard, focus on.

But what kind of life is it, if you are unhappy or have bad relationships with your family or cross the line, when with a little effort and planning you can avoid all three?

While Clay Christensen isn’t a silver life bullet, his thinking and approach come close.

Image credit: By World Economic Forum from Cologny, Switzerland – Leading Through Adversity: Clayton ChristensenUploaded by January, CC BY-SA 2.0

Poking through 11+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.

Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.

Surprisingly, it is Millennials who are giving a lot of thought to dying and, in doing so, changing the conversations around it. All I can say is, it’s about time!” I get it. They are dedicated to directing how they live, want to control how they exit and are far more pragmatic about it than previous generations. I’m no Millennial, but over the decades I’ve given a lot of thought to the subject, too.

Read other Golden Oldies here.

What do you think about when you take stock of your life? What do you strive for? What makes you feel successful?

But first…

What I’m about to write is NOT a judgment call—having been brought up in a judgmental family I don’t judge. Sure, I have opinions, we all do, but I don’t judge. The most I can say is “X doesn’t work for me, but Y does.”

Granted, I might recommend Y; I might even argue passionately regarding the merits of Y, but in the end it’s your decision and you need to tweak/modify/change Y to fit your MAP—if you decide you have any interest in it at all—because Y is a product of my MAP and no two MAPs are identical.

Back to taking stock.

Someone once said to me,

“I still have more than half my life left to live… Still, with each birthday I feel the anxiety of wondering if I am living up to my potential. … Often, I can’t wake up from my daydreams of a disciplined and directed life long enough to make that life happen. … I have learned from experience that I need both [self awareness and willingness to change] if I want to be successful in life and leadership.”

I found it sad because the focus seemed to be so personally judgmental and the person set such store on an intangible like ‘leadership’—which, to have any real meaning, needs to be bestowed and substantiated by others.

But that is just me.

I’m substantially older than most of you and have bounced and blundered through life opening doors as the mood moved me.

I’ve made and lost money as well as friends as our lives diverged.

I once read that success is found in what you do for others, but I believe it’s also in what you don’t do and based on both I am enormously successful.

I’ve given a helping hand to hundreds, thus facilitating their ultimate success.

More importantly, I work hard at not hurting anyone by word or deed, advertently or inadvertently.

I doubt that I’m always successful, but I do try like hell.

I do not lie, cheat or steal.

If I were to have a tombstone (which I won’t, since I’m being composted, which is much better than cremation) it would look like this.

Image credit: JJ Chandler (site no longer exists)

Three years ago Jason Ford, an entrepreneur and investor in Austin, TX, wrote a post on Medium titled The real reason my startup was successful: privilege.

It is far more honest and accurate than the typical stuff from founders talking (bragging) about how they did it on their own.

This is especially true of younger founders.

Like Rick yesterday, they have no recognition of the privilege that eased their lives and underlies their success.

The post was thoughtful, intelligent, calmly stated, no insulting, or trolling.

But a lot of people scanned it, their focus caught on a couple of words, so the misinterpreted what Ford had written, in many cases angrily.

A couple of months later he followed up with White privilege is real to respond to comments from the first post.

Ford says it better, but privilege, whether White or based on gender, zip code, alumni, or any of a myriad of other things is very real.

Ford says it much better than I do; read his posts and spread the word.

No problem, large or small, was ever solved by ignoring it.

Image credit: Stephen Dann

Poking through 11+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.

Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.

It’s been nearly five years since I wrote about “Rick” and in spite of everything that’s happened in those years, including inheriting his grandmother’s large estate, Rick still doesn’t consider himself privileged. Not surprising, considering the American belief that anybody can bootstrap their way to success all on their own. That includes people like Kylie Jenner, who brags about being self-made, since she bootstrapped her company using her own money — all by herself. No question, bootstrapping is far easier when you are privileged.

Read other Golden Oldies here.

If you’re an outsider, or even an insider prone to objectivity, Silicon Valley’s culture is a mess.

When I said as much to “Rick” his response caught me off guard — although it shouldn’t have.

“I wish they would just give it a rest. I am sick and tired of all the crap about wealth inequality, lack of diversity and privacy rights. That stuff is not my responsibility. I’ve worked hard and deserve my success; nobody went out of their way to help me. I’m sure not privileged and I figure if I can do it so can they.”

I’ve heard this before, but it still leaves me speechless.

Rick is tall, white, nice looking, middle class family, raised around Palo Alto, and graduated from UC Berkeley; his dad worked for Intel.

Yet he doesn’t see himself as privileged.

Over the years I’ve known thousands of Ricks.

And therein lies the true problem.

Because it’s hard to change that which doesn’t exist.

Image credit: Dagny Mol

A Friday series exploring Startups and the people who make them go. Read all If the Shoe Fits posts here.

Pundits and investors of all kinds, from lone angels to major VCs, say that your company’s culture is critical to its success.

Therefore, the most important question founders should ask themselves is what are my values?

Not what you say out loud, or agree to in order to fit in, or because they are good talking points, or to be PC.

You need to be brutally honest, at least with yourself, because, in the long run, whatever your values truly are will out.

Mark Zuckerberg claimed he wanted to do good by connecting people.

Larry Page and Sergey Brin wanted to organize the world’s information and “not be evil.”

But, in the long run, their top core value became obvious, echoing Gordon Geko’s, “Greed is good.”

Also long term, Andrew Wilkinson’s 2015 words reflect his values, I’m not a unicorn, I’m a horse.

Culture is based on founder values and sooner or later the real ones do surface.

This is where being “your authentic self” trips up a lot of people, not just founders.

Image credit: HikingArtist

There’s enough career and how-to-be-successful advice to fill a stadium. It goes back decades; some is out of date in a digital world, but the best stuff isn’t.

• The lesson: Go in with big eyes, big ears, and most importantly don’t be a jerk.
• You can be the most talented and skilled at your job, but if people don’t like you, your success will be limited.

Such was the advice that was given to Corey Burns 12 years ago by a mentor.

He recently gave it to a colleague and it’s just as relevant now as it was then.

It’s also one of the true pearls of wisdom that, if we are paying attention, we each collect in the course of our lives.

The best advice, such as this, is so simple it can be offered in less than two minutes and understood almost instantly. (Click the link for a detailed explanation.)

But practicing it seems to be the biggest obstacle for a lot of people.

Watch, listen, don’t be a jerk.

• Make it your mantra; the thought that guides your words and actions;
• surround yourself with like-minded people; and
• avoid those who scoff and do the opposite, especially in the workplace.

Simple.

So, as Nike would say, just do it.

Image credit: Aaron Gustafson

Poking through 12+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.

Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.

Last Monday we considered whether your goals were your own or dictated by outside pressure. Today, we’ll look at something I wrote way back in2006 when I started this blog — my approach to making goals and to-do lists  a positive experience, i.e., work.

Read other Golden Oldies here.

A client sent me a list of what he plans to accomplish in Q4—it was a very long list. I find most people have similar lists and, although all the items are necessary, the list can be daunting.

As opposed to listing just goals, most people’s lists include everything they need/want to accomplish in that time frame, both goals and to-do’s, hence the long list.

You’ll still need to do the work, but here’s a simple trick to help tame your list, raise your productivity, and give yourself more feelings of accomplishment and fewer of frustration.

I’ve found that the items on these lists fall into three categories:

• Normal work: includes all the things that you need to do that quarter that are part of your job description. (executing marketing plans, making sales calls, hiring staff; doing reviews, etc.)
• Goals: in addition to normal, daily tasks (increase manufacturing output 8% in Q4; write operating plan for 2007; reduce attrition 10%, etc.)
• Behavioral changes: refers to MAP changes (improve attitude; give and accept constructive criticism)

Goals usually require a great deal more planning and take longer to come to fruition, hence the longer deadlines. They are often more strategic and can involve other people’s activities. One major and two minor goals are the most that can be handled efficiently and be accomplished.

Normal work doesn’t need to list every single thing you do. It’s more a matter of personal taste whether you list each thing or just the major tasks that aren’t ongoing on a daily basis. When listing major tasks, e.g., hiring, be sure to set a deadline, be reasonable, but a deadline will keep you on track and keep the item from getting pushed to the back burner. It’s easy to mix up goals and work. For example, you may think of filling a req as a goal, but it’s really part of your normal work as a manager.

Behavioral changes need to be specific, so, rather than “improve attitude,” specify three things that will accomplish that (stay positive, smile, be friendly). MAP changes require staying aware until the desired change becomes a habit and three is about the max most people can monitor at once and, even that, can be a stretch. However, if you made even one MAP change each quarter the over all change in that year would be phenomenal.

Now for the trick. Using three columns with these headings,

• drag and drop your list into the appropriate column;
• keep shuffling them until you’re sure each is in the right place;
• prioritize them; and
• move any extra items (more than three each) from Behaviors or Goals to a separate holding doc—that’s why prioritizing them is so important.

Print Behavioral changes and stick them on your monitor, tape them to the dashboard, up them on a wall—somewhere you will always see it because out of site is out of mind and you need to stay constantly aware to build the habit.

Using the deadlines, incorporate the others into your normal planning process.

Be sure to do a reality check using normal and worst case analysis. You aren’t Super(wo)man, so be sure that what you want to accomplish can be done. If not, adjust your lists accordingly, keeping it firmly in mind that your object is to increase your productivity, not your frustration.

Finally, once you’re clear on the process, share it with your organization, not just the managers, but with everyone

Image credit: Aaron Davis

It’s always gratifying when something I wrote in years past, based on my own experience, is validated by current research. Yesterday’s Oldie about privilege is no exception.

I wrote it in 2015 and last week I read the validating research in the Harvard Business Review (love these little ego trips).

There are lots of people held back by bias. And that means that some of the people at the top have advanced partly through privilege.

Our research finds the idea of being advantaged to be uncomfortable for many senior leaders. We interviewed David, a senior executive who recognizes both having benefited from unfair advantages and the injustice of bias. He’s tall, middle-aged, well-educated, heterosexual, able-bodied, white, and male — and these provide David with unearned advantages that he intellectually knows he has, but that in practice he barely notices. He tells us he feels an underlying sense of guilt. He wants to feel that his successes in life are down to his abilities and hard work, not unfair advantage. “I feel like a child who discovers that people have been letting him win a game all along,” he says. “How can I feel good about myself succeeding if the game was never fair?”

Over the years, I’ve found the idea of ‘fairness’ and ‘unfairness’ deeply embedded in people’s MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™) where it has a major impact on all three MAP components.

In speaking with leaders about their built-in advantages, we have seen that David’s experience is widely shared. Acknowledging these advantages can challenge their very identities and sense of worth.

As is often the case, normalcy erases awareness.

Our research on speaking truth to power shows there is often a blind spot among the powerful, preventing them from seeing their impact on the less powerful. We call this advantage blindness. When you have advantage blindness, you don’t feel privileged. You don’t notice a life of special treatment; it’s just normal. You don’t think about your physical safety most of the time; you don’t worry about holding hands with your partner in public; when you get angry, no one asks you if it’s because of your hormones; and people in power generally look like you.

The results of the researchers interviews list three negative reactions

• Denying the playing field is unlevel.
• Focusing on one’s own disadvantages.
• Denying the playing field is unlevel.

And three positive ones

• Owning personal prejudice and bias.
• Empathy from connecting with people who are “other.”
• Putting personal advantage to collective good use

The one problem with the research is it’s focus on executives, which is to be expected from Harvard, but the same advantages, bias, guilt, and negative reactions can be found at all levels.

The good part is that the positive approaches discussed also work at all levels.

What should you do next?

• Read the article.
• Consciously and honestly identify your own advantages.
• Write (not keyboard) them down.
• Reread the list often.
• Heighten your awareness.
• Lower your defensiveness.
• Implement the actions described and add your own.

While you can’t eliminate societal advantages, you can put them to work for the greater good. Doing so will go a long way to validating your advantaged success.

Image credit: Duck Lover

Poking through 11+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.

Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.

Privileged is different than entitled. Entitled mindsets believe the world owes them, whereas privileged is often unconscious — a matter of birth. Not necessarily born to great wealth, but being born with fewer challenges, such as white instead of black, brown, yellow, red, or any combination thereof; male, instead of female. Interested/knowledgeable parents. Average-to-good schools. Etc.

Most don’t see themselves as privileged, like Rick, in the story below.

Read other Golden Oldies here.

If you’re an outsider, or even an insider prone to objectivity, Silicon Valley’s culture is a mess.

When I said as much to “Rick” his response caught me off guard — although it shouldn’t have.

“I wish they would just give it a rest. I am sick and tired of all the crap about wealth inequality, lack of diversity and privacy rights. That stuff is not my responsibility. I’ve worked hard and deserve my success; nobody went out of their way to help me. I’m sure not privileged and I figure if I can do it so can they.”

I’ve heard this before, but it still leaves me speechless.

Rick is white, nice looking, middle class family, raised around Palo Alto, graduated from UC Berkeley; his dad worked for Intel.

Yet he doesn’t see himself as privileged.

Over the years I’ve known thousands of Ricks.

And therein lies the true problem.

Because it’s hard to change that which doesn’t exist.

Image credit: Dagny Mol

Poking through 11+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.

Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.

KG Charles-Harris sent me an article about goals, neuroscience, and “Temporal Myopia”— the inability in the decision-making process to consider the long-term consequences of an action. Good information that scientifically confirms the idea that the best way to accomplish a long-term goal is to break it down into short-term pieces that provide daily gratification.

It reminded me of this post and the real importance of planning. Rereading it I can say without reserve that the most important point you can take away is found in the final sentence.

Read other Golden Oldies here.

Plans are made and remade over and over again, so why plan at all if it’s going to keep changing? Because the most valuable part is the act of planning, not the result of it.

Planning forces you to think in depth—an often painful process that most of us would rather avoid.

For example, it is impossible to plan an upcoming product launch without considering all the things that could go wrong simultaneously with defining the steps to take and the results you seek.

The discussion (even if it’s with yourself) engendered by stating that you are going to do A forces you to consider what will happen if A doesn’t accomplish what you want or what to do if doing A becomes an impossibility for whatever reason (time, money, manpower, etc.)

It is plan-the-verb that distinguishes the winners from the also-rans and it is the verb that keeps you ahead of the competition.

Just as importantly, it is plan-the-verb that should be pushed down throughout your organization.

This is accomplished by giving the goal to the next level down and asking them to plan how they will achieve it. They, in turn, should create multiple goals from it and pass those down to their direct reports and so on down the organizational ladder all the way to the lowest level.

At each handoff the goal is divided again and again and each person has to plan how to achieve it with the help of their group.

Always plan in pencil, because plan-the-noun needs to be a living organism that grows and changes, just as a tree bends in the wind to avoid breaking—just be sure to recycle the paper on which plan-the-noun is printed.

The benefits of this process are enormous, first, because it makes plan-the-verb a part of your corporate culture, as well as a core competency, which gives your company the ability to react far more swiftly as the waves and eddies of the economy and your industry constantly change your market.

Plan-the-verb boosts initiative, encourages taking responsibility and speeds professional growth, providing you with a stronger in-house bench from which to grow.

It is always detrimental to value the noun—plan, leader, manager—more than the verb—plan, lead, manage—but in the business world it can be devastating.

Image credit: Robert Nunnally