A Friday series exploring Startups and the people who make them go. Read all If the Shoe Fits posts here

Influence isn’t about your online ranking or the strength of your brand, although they contribute.

Influence is about effect.

The effect your words or actions have on those exposed to them.

Yesterday I linked to an article in which Penelope Trunk said that it’s a bad idea for founders to be of different genders and because of her influence dozens of founders are probably rethinking their startup plans.

There is a common arrogance among influencers to generalize their opinion and present it as a fact applicable to all and the more successful the influencer the greater the arrogance.

But from day one every founder has influence, before success and beyond the expected, so even a casual word can cause trouble.

A founder CEO I know, whose original education years before was engineering, had a habit of occasionally strolling through engineering to see what was going on. One day he commented that he wouldn’t do a design the way the team was doing it. It was a casual, throw-away comment, one he had forgotten five minutes later, but it devastated the design team. The CEO had no clue to the havoc he wrought and it took the vp of engineering, who was co-founder, hours to settle them down. He then told the CEO not to talk to the team and banned him from the department.

What those on the receiving end of influencers need to realize is that no matter how brilliant or experienced someone is they are still voicing an opinion. And as valuable as the opinion may be, it should never be swallowed whole, because opinions are subjective.

They are the product of that individual’s MAP, which itself is a product of upbringing and experience. Even someone else having exactly the same background and experience would not have identical MAP because each person processes differently and has different inherent characteristics.

Influence comes with responsibilities—how well do you handle yours?

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I have to admit that a post by Penelope Trunk, founder of Brazen Careerist, about “why you shouldn’t do a startup with women (if you’re a man)” greatly annoyed me, but not for the reasons you might think.

I have no quibble with what Trunk wrote about her own experience, but I do object strenuously to the idea that it is universally applicable.

Wondering if it was only me, I sent the link to KG Charles-Harris, founder/CEO of EMANIO and founder of the M3 Foundation, whose co-founder at EMANIO is female, and he emailed back,

“Interesting.  I hadn’t thought of this until now.  This is my first startup and my experience is that having Julie as co-founder has made us survive.”

I also sent it to Matt Weeks, Chief Marketing & Revenue Officer, Actio.tv and who occasionally writes for the Friday entrepreneur feature If the Shoe Fits,

“Some of the best women I’ve worked with were direct, authentic, professional, and had very similar styles as the men.  The open question is– were they adapting and modeling the men in the workplace to fit-in (having observed that crying and throwing tantrums was not likely to lead to advancement)….? or were they hard-wired to have the same style and temperament as men,and that was a key to their success…?   Most female workers are not about drama or making chaos or making their female-ness a centerpiece of the workplace dynamic or culture.  In fact having diversity in a fast-moving team with a variety of perspectives has led to better insight, better strategy and better product creation in my direct experience.  Great teams are better for the diversity of perspective, not hopelessly paralyzed and unable to focus. It depends how experienced they are in managing divergent views and coalescing around a single course of action.  That said, some men with whom I have worked indulged their male-ness,and narcissism, creating their own flavor of drama and chaos. This doesn’t even begin to figure-in the gender and sexual orientation component, which could flip the equation again.  And then flip it again.”

I also looked in the mirror and had to admit that I have been know to inject drama and chaos in my interactions, but those occasions had nothing to do with my gender.

They happened at that moment because I ran out of rope and they were over almost immediately because I reached deep or out and found more rope.

Personally, I have a hard time understanding monthly mood swings since I never experienced them, nor am I particularly comfortable with prolonged exposure to highly emotional people no matter their gender or orientation.

When I was young there seemed to be fewer choices, women got upset, got emotional and cried, whereas men got upset, got drunk and hit the wall or whatever was handy—I have done both—I wonder what that makes me?

The take-away is that your MAP will dictate the amount of drama and chaos acceptable in any culture you establish or that you are willing to personally endure.

Please join me tomorrow for a look at the power and pitfalls of influence.

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To my readers: Leadership Turn is ending; its last day is December 29. I’ve enjoyed writing it and our interaction since August 16, 2007 and I hope we can continue at my other blog.

If you enjoy my views and writing, please join me at MAPping Company Success or subscribe via RSS or EMAIL.

The WELCOME MAT is out!

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Happy birthday to me; happy birthday to me, etc. etc. etc.

I thought I’d write a rhyme in honor of the anniversary of my birth and share it with you. Not a poem, I can’t write poetry, but I do write rhymes (some better than others:) So without more ado…

It’s my birthday and I’m not shy
shouting the news to the birds in the sky.
That’s the way I approach my life
because increasing years should not add strife!

I wouldn’t go back as an awkward teen,
with raging hormones and pimples seen;
back then I believed I could take wing
because I knew most everything.

I entered my twenties with more of the same,
but as time went by I started to tame
lots of the actions that created a stink;
I listened and learned and started to think!

Over the decades I made sure I kept growing
and the people I met kept new ideas flowing.

These days I coach and I write—a living I’m earning—
but nothing has changed I’m still talking and learning.
My picture is old and won’t be changed soon
and no matter what I’ll never carry a tune.

But life goes on and that’s a cert
even though today I am older than dirt.

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Today I’d like to thank you, all of you. You are what make writing Leadership Turn worthwhile—even though you aren’t as chatty as the Prison Break readers.

But today is the day; today I’m asking you to get chatting and tell me what you want from Leadership Turn in 2009.

What features do you like? Which do you hate? What would you like me to do differently?

Do you like Tuesday’s Ducks In A Row? Thursday’s Leadership’s Future focus on education and leading kids? What about CandidProf? Do you want to hear more from him?

Are the multiple links in the new Seize Your Leadership Day on Saturday helpful? Are you still enjoying Quotable Quotes with your Sunday coffee?

Click here, while you’re thinking about it, and tell me what you want. Or you may call me at 866.265.7267 or email miki@rampupsolutions.com.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One more thing, last year I shared Business Week’s Marc Miller’s rhyming wrap-up of 2007; yesterday I posted Jib Jab’s 2008 wrap and now I have the pleasure of presenting parts of Miller’s rhyme for this year. Click the link to read the whole thing—it’s worth it!

At Christmastime 2008,
In this, our fragile fiscal state,
We search our economic soul
And find the world’s a lump of coal,…

You’re Big Biz? Well, it’s still no dice:
The credit market’s Arctic ice.
The Dow fell stomach-churningly,
And Bear Stearns is a memory,
Nor is there any point in dreamin’
Richard Fuld will bring back Lehman…
On the front page, Bernie Madoff;
On Page Two, new thousands laid off.
’08’s theme, if such there be,
Is simply negativity,…

In the business world, success
Was rarer than a C.D.S.
That didn’t wind up in a mess,
Yet some achieved it nonetheless….

Mr. Gates, with less to do,
We’re counting on good works from you.
(We’re confident at Microsoft
Steve Ballmer will keep things aloft.)
T. Boone Pickens, going green,
A blessing on your wind machine,…

For next year, we merely wish
A climate not so Hades-ish,
Where every week we don’t convene
To tear apart the magazine
And start from scratch, because we find
The landscape newly redesigned,
A market not so cellar-bound
(We can’t imagine turnaround),
Some leadership in Washington
That actually gets things done,
And globally, a brotherhood
That stumbles toward a common good.
I can’t say why, I don’t know how,
But if you’ve read this up to now,
You too may sense the universe
May soon get better (can’t get worse).
So raise a glass to auld lang syne,
And see you in 2009.

I really urge you to read it in it’s entirety, it’s worth your time.

Have a wonderful holiday today; I look forward to your thoughts on my direction.

Best wishes,
Miki

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