Poking through 11+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.
Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.
Surprisingly, it is Millennials who are giving a lot of thought to dying and, in doing so, changing the conversations around it. All I can say is, it’s about time!” I get it. They are dedicated to directing how they live, want to control how they exit and are far more pragmatic about it than previous generations. I’m no Millennial, but over the decades I’ve given a lot of thought to the subject, too.
What do you think about when you take stock of your life? What do you strive for? What makes you feel successful?
But first…
What I’m about to write is NOT a judgment call—having been brought up in a judgmental family I don’t judge. Sure, I have opinions, we all do, but I don’t judge. The most I can say is “X doesn’t work for me, but Y does.”
Granted, I might recommend Y; I might even argue passionately regarding the merits of Y, but in the end it’s your decision and you need to tweak/modify/change Y to fit your MAP—if you decide you have any interest in it at all—because Y is a product of my MAP and no two MAPs are identical.
Back to taking stock.
Someone once said to me,
“I still have more than half my life left to live… Still, with each birthday I feel the anxiety of wondering if I am living up to my potential. … Often, I can’t wake up from my daydreams of a disciplined and directed life long enough to make that life happen. … I have learned from experience that I need both [self awareness and willingness to change] if I want to be successful in life and leadership.”
I found it sad because the focus seemed to be so personally judgmental and the person set such store on an intangible like ‘leadership’—which, to have any real meaning, needs to be bestowed and substantiated by others.
But that is just me.
I’m substantially older than most of you and have bounced and blundered through life opening doors as the mood moved me.
I’ve made and lost money as well as friends as our lives diverged.
I once read that success is found in what you do for others, but I believe it’s also in what you don’t do and based on both I am enormously successful.
I’ve given a helping hand to hundreds, thus facilitating their ultimate success.
More importantly, I work hard at not hurting anyone by word or deed, advertently or inadvertently.
I doubt that I’m always successful, but I do try like hell.
I do not lie, cheat or steal.
If I were to have a tombstone (which I won’t, since I’m being composted, which is much better than cremation) it would look like this.
What do you think about when you take stock of your life? What do you strive for? What makes you feel successful?
But first…
What I’m about to write is NOT a judgment call—having been brought up in a judgmental family I don’t judge. Sure, I have opinions, we all do, but I don’t judge. The most I can say is “X doesn’t work for me, but Y does.”
Granted, I might recommend Y; I might even argue passionately regarding the merits of Y, but in the end it’s your decision and you need to tweak/modify/change Y to fit your MAP—if you decide you have any interest in it at all—because Y is a product of my MAP and no two MAPs are identical.
Back to taking stock.
Someone once said to me,
“I still have more than half my life left to live… Still, with each birthday I feel the anxiety of wondering if I am living up to my potential. … Often, I can’t wake up from my daydreams of a disciplined and directed life long enough to make that life happen. … I have learned from experience that I need both [self awareness and willingness to change] if I want to be successful in life and leadership.”
I found it sad because the focus seemed to be so personally judgmental and the person set such store on an intangible like ‘leadership’—which, to have any real meaning, needs to be bestowed and substantiated by others.
But that is just me.
I’m substantially older than most of you and have bounced and blundered through life opening doors as the mood moved me.
I’ve made and lost money as well as friends as our lives diverged.
I once read that success is found in what you do for others, but I believe it’s also in what you don’t do and based on both I am enormously successful.
I’ve given a helping hand to hundreds, thus facilitating their ultimate success.
More importantly, I work hard at not hurting anyone by word or deed, advertently or inadvertently.
I doubt that I’m always successful, but I do try like hell.
I do not lie, cheat or steal.
If I were to have a tombstone (which I won’t, since I’m being cremated and scattered) it would look like this.
I love brain science. Not the neurosurgical kind that McDreamy practices on Gray’s Anatomy, but the research being done into the WHY of what we do and our reactions to others.
And react we do; we also judge both their words and actions.
As a result of my fascination with this, I was delighted by this TED video and thought you would enjoy it, too.
“Rebecca Saxe shares fascinating lab work that uncovers how the brain thinks about other peoples’ thoughts — and judges their actions.”
A few weeks ago I told you about my client who “acquires houses out of foreclosure, rehabs and rents the properties, then sells the properties to investors” and the consequences of the unintended craziness involved in the auctions in Texas.
Unintended consequences sometimes seem to be the primary result of human actions. It is safe to assume that no one planned to cause global warming or the current economic meltdown.
These are just unintended consequences, but each one is much, much larger than the sequence of intentional human actions which led up to it. Given that we do not have perfect foresight, unintended consequences appear to be truly unavoidable. But they don’t have to be tragic.
Goals, Judgment, Flexibility, and Transparency
We can reduce the negative effects of unavoidable consequences.
Consider a sailor navigating a sailboat into a harbor marked by a lighthouse. Unfortunately, this sailor does not have GPS or an electronic autopilot, so he has to steer the boat manually, using the tiller. He sets the boat on a course to the harbor, using the lighthouse as the marker. Almost immediately the wind, waves, and tide push the boat off course. The sailor constantly corrects the boat’s heading to keep it on course for the harbor. Sometimes the boat has to change course to avoid larger ships heading into port. Most of the time the boat is off course, but due to the sailor’s constant corrections it makes progress toward the goal.
Passengers on the boat may not know how to sail, but they can see the lighthouse and can use the radar screen to track the progress of the boat amidst other ships. They can tell, for themselves, that the boat is on track and making progress.
The sailor has a clear goal and uses his judgment and flexibility to keep the boat heading to port. The analogy to our economic situation is obvious—while the sailor is guiding the boat to a safe harbor; our economy feels like it is careening out of control, heading toward the rocks.
Things to Think About
Given that most of us cannot significantly influence the government or the national economy we need to look closer to home.
How do you guide your business?
How does your team set goals?
How do you encourage transparency?
How much freedom do you allow your employees to use their own judgment?
Do your policies look like the US Constitution (only 4,440 words) or like the US Tax Code (over 400 volumes)?
One More Consequence
Recently I have found a new opportunity, much too interesting to pass up. To pursue this new opportunity with the attention it deserves, one unintended consequence is that I must let go of this blog. With great appreciation for you readers and with many thanks to Miki Saxon, who gave me this opportunity to speak directly with you.
I close with the heartfelt wish that you follow your dreams all your life; that you may fulfill your dreams and that they may fulfill you.
Entrepreneurs face difficulties that are hard for most people to imagine, let alone understand. You can find anonymous help and connections that do understand at 7 cups of tea.
Crises never end.
$10 really does make a difference and you’ll never miss it,
I love brain science. Not the neurosurgical kind that McDreamy practices on Gray’s Anatomy, but the research being done into the WHY of what we do and our reactions to others.
Unintended consequences sometimes seem to be the primary result of human actions. It is safe to assume that no one planned to cause global warming or the current economic meltdown.
