Poking through 14+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.
Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.
This post dates to 2006, yet it is as applicable today as it was then. More, in fact, as a result of social media. In many ways social media is emotional contagion on steroids — nothing short of a pandemic.
We’ve all heard, in one variation or another, of the ongoing battle between positive and negative that is fought within each person. One of the best versions is credited to the Cherokee and uses wolves to represent the opposing sides. I like this one because it recognizes that there may seem to be no difference in appearance (in other words, you can’t always tell a book by the cover) and goes on to say that the wolf that wins the battle will be the wolf that is fed.
Skipping the biggies (kill, lie, cheat, steal), just what impact does the battle have within the workplace? And what, as a manager, is your responsibility?
A lot, as it turns out—and it even has a name. It’s called “emotional contagion” and much of the recent research that’s been done has focused on emotionally negative or positive bosses. The results won’t surprise those of us who’ve been exposed to “glass half empty” people—the experts have proved that negative emotions, especially in leaders, can bring a group down faster than running air conditioning during flu season.
What can you do? Start by staying aware of your own mood. It’s hard to be upbeat when you walk out of a meeting with an enraged client, or a design review for a project about to go over budget, but if you don’t, you’ll bring down the rest of your team and that’ll blow off the entire day (or week or even longer).
Overcome your mood using a simple approach that I first learned from a book by Napoleon Hill more years ago than matters. He said, “Think, act, walk and talk like the person you want to become and you’ll become that person.” He also said, “Act enthusiastic and you’ll become enthusiastic” Put them together and you have an unbeatable, simple, solution for keeping your own morale and, as a result, the morale of your team, positive and productive.
And what about your people? You need to deal with any kind of negativity, including a “blue” mood, immediately. Talk to the person privately; you can’t force someone to discuss a problem, but you can offer your help. You also need to make it clear that whatever is going on you can’t allow it to bring down the team—that while at work he needs to present a positive front. If it’s a personal life problem, especially a big one (illness, loss of life, etc.) offer your support and find out how much of the situation you’re allowed to share with the team. Remember, with personal information, sharing is the employee’s call, not yours.
Sometimes, when really bad stuff happens, it’s hard to act, let alone, be positive, but it’s easier on the team if they understand, even generally, the situation and can be supportive. Also, remember that you aren’t, and shouldn’t be, either shrink or confidante, but you can help them find and connect with resources that offer support and solutions.
Sure, these approaches may seem simplistic, but oft times simple is best. After all, you’re not trying to solve the cause, but to mitigate the effect.
It was the last living thing rescued from the ruins of 9/11. A dozen years later, one mythical pear tree is finally home, and branching out from Ground Zero in mystical ways.
Perhaps it’s because I have a Japanese maple that everybody told me was dead; get rid of it; put in something new to enjoy — but I didn’t.
I left the tree alone for a couple of years, pruned the parts that didn’t grow in that time and since then it has flourished.
Amazing what time and patience can do for the severely damaged.
Sadly, both are in short supply these days — although the damaged are not.
It’s not a problem when the mood is upbeat, but what to do when it’s not fills volumes.
I found a way to short-circuit ‘emotional contagion’ decades before was named, defined and discussed.
I learned about it in my early twenties in a book by Napoleon Hill and it’s since been reiterated by others in various forms.
I’ve used and shared with clients and it rarely fails when done whole-heartedly and not just with lip service.
“Act enthusiastic and you will become enthusiastic.”
Sounds simplistic, but simple is often best — because this isn’t about finding the cause of your negativity, but preempting the contagion.
Accomplishing that means you need to stay aware of your own mood.
Long ago I realized that judging my mood based on its effect was a bad idea—by the time I had the feedback the damage was done.
After a lot of trial and error I found the easiest and most accurate method my mood early was to stay conscious of my facial muscles, wrinkled brow, smile, frown, etc., because my muscles react long before I’m aware of the mood that is affecting them.
I’m not sure why it took me so long to realize that, except that the obvious often zips right by us.
It’s incredible how much emotion can completely boost or derail absolutely everything at work and in life. It completely changes the color and tenor of any discussion or experience, though actual reality remains unchanged. In fact, I’m coming to believe that almost everything is emotionally driven in human experience – history, sociology, culture, psychology, biology, health, etc.
Emotion is that elusive, inexplicable thing that gives or takes away will and energy, determines perception and choice and, to a large extent, outcomes in life. Yet we know almost nothing about it—or at least I don’t. I know how it feels and what it does, but not where it comes from, what causes it and, most importantly, how to optimize it.
I do know that hormones and whether I am rested, hungry, etc., influence my emotions. However, I am reflecting on how easily I see exactly the same thing as positive or negative depending on how I feel. How strongly emotions determine my ability to deal well or badly with large, or even the smallest, matters.
Building a company is about creating an emotional drive in a group of people to accomplish something together. I’ve noticed that whenever I’m convincing people to join or am working out problems it is not just a conversation or intellectual work, but a significant outlay of emotional energy.
It’s as if my emotions are a vibration at a certain frequency that has the ability to cause vibration in others as well, as if emotions are sound or music. If we take a comparison to physics:
“If you were to take a guitar string and stretch it to a given length and a given tightness and have a friend pluck it, you would hear a noise; but the noise would not even be close in comparison to the loudness produced by an acoustic guitar. On the other hand, if the string is attached to the sound box of the guitar, the vibrating string is capable of forcing the sound box into vibrating at that same natural frequency. The sound box in turn forces air particles inside the box into vibrational motion at the same natural frequency as the string. The entire system (string, guitar, and enclosed air) begins vibrating and forces surrounding air particles into vibrational motion.
The tendency of one object to force another adjoining or interconnected object into vibrational motion is referred to as a forced vibration. In the case of the guitar string mounted to the sound box, the fact that the surface area of the sound box is greater than the surface area of the string means that more surrounding air particles will be forced into vibration. This causes an increase in the amplitude and thus loudness of the sound.”
This is exactly how you build an organization—as the entrepreneur and founder, it starts with my emotional vibration and transferring that emotional vibration to other competent people who can help me build my vision. And a large part of doing that is to accept that this vision is no longer mine, but that it’s now the vision of the people to whom I transferred the emotional vibration.
That means, building an organization is like creating the sound box in the above example—it amplifies the effect of the emotional drive towards goals.
I recently spoke with my father about the fact that everything in my life and the world seemingly being emotion-based; that emotion is what provides us with the energy to have a vision within ourselves and the force to transfer it to others while maintaining it within.
He said that the transference happens in a variety of ways—facial expression, gestures, word choice, etc.—and that the mix of these and other tools can enhance or detract from the vibration.
In other words, we need to actively think about emotional transference and the tools we can use to promote it. What can we learn from the physics of vibration?
Beyond physics there’s biology. If I know that I am deeply affected in my emotional states and my dealings with people by hormones (such as oxytocin) and pheromones, as well as rest, nutrition and other factors, then to what extent I can control this? Clearly it is necessary to maintain good physical condition, which includes rest, exercise and proper nutrition. My father believes we can determine the hormone levels in our bodies by thought and training; perhaps this is what the practice of Buddhist mediation is all about—the end to suffering through changing our perception of reality.
Ultimately our emotions determine our perception of reality, so a slight change in chemical balance will enable us to achieve great things or completely derail what we’re attempting to accomplish.
Some try to use chemistry (pharmaceuticals & drugs) to optimize this, but unfortunately the tools and substances used by psychologists and psychiatrists are woefully crude and we are just in the beginning phases of understanding how this can function.
Emotion is a central aspect of elite athleticism. We obviously can optimize like athletes, so why don’t we? They start by influencing the natural factors that they actually can control, i.e. nutrition, rest, positive environment and focused exercise.
Shouldn’t optimizing our biology be just as primary a task for entrepreneurs as it is for athletes in order to enhance our ability to execute?
Why are so many of us neglecting to utilize this tool to help us achieve our goals?
Note: KG Charles-Harris is CEO of Quarrio (former CEO of Emanio). KG’s company was recently awarded SIIA’s (Software & Information Industry Association) NextGen Awards in 2 of 3 categories – “Best Overall” and “Most Disruptive.” Quarrio won from a pool of several hundred applicants. The runner-up was Junyo, co-founded by Steve Schoettler, co-founder of Zynga, and funded by Mitch Kapor, Learn Capital and others.
[The study] found that after reading literary fiction, as opposed to popular fiction or serious nonfiction, people performed better on tests measuring empathy, social perception and emotional intelligence — skills that come in especially handy when you are trying to read someone’s body language or gauge what they might be thinking.
What is ‘literary fiction’? How does it differ from popular fiction or non-fiction stories, like biographies?
In literary fiction, like Dostoyevsky, “there is no single, overarching authorial voice,” he said. “Each character presents a different version of reality, and they aren’t necessarily reliable. You have to participate as a reader in this dialectic, which is really something you have to do in real life.”
Apparently, just as boredom is an excellent source of creativity, engaging with characters who have no obvious, predetermined course and are struggling in a plot that could go many different ways sensitizes you to the subtleties in their thoughts and actions and opens your mind to a myriad of possibilities.
The Lady and the Tiger, a short story by Frank R. Stockton, is a good example of characters, story and, in this case, an ending that guarantees deep thinking and lively discussion.
Reading is good brain exercise and choosing to read something with a great story that also gives you a decided edge in both your business and personal life is called a no-brainer.
Whether you are a in a position of leadership, one of the go-to people on your team or on the lowest rung of the ladder you need to know about emotional contagion and how your moods affect those around you.
Although much of the research has focused on bosses, everybody is a carrier and anyone can ignite an epidemic.
There is documented evidence for what all of us who have been exposed to “glass half empty” people already know—negative emotions can bring a group down faster than bad ventilation during flu season, whereas a sunny outlook can lift us beyond what is reasonable.
Yes, it’s difficult to be upbeat when you walk out of a meeting with an enraged client, or a design review for a project about to go over budget or a difficult conversation, but if you don’t you’ll bring down those around you and that can blow off an entire day, week or even longer.
For decades, I’ve used a simple approach learned from a book by Napoleon Hill and reiterated by others in various forms.
“Act enthusiastic and you will become enthusiastic.”
Sounds simplistic, but often simple is best—you’re not trying to solve the cause, but to mitigate the effect.
That means you need to stay aware of your own mood.
Long ago I realized that judging my mood based on its effect was a bad idea—by the time I had the feedback the damage was done.
After a lot of trial and error the easiest and most accurate method I’ve found of catching my mood early is to stay conscious of my facial muscles, wrinkled brow, smile, frown, etc., because my muscles react long before I’m aware of the mood that is affecting them.
I’m not sure why it took me so long to realize that, except that the obvious often zips right by us.
Entrepreneurs face difficulties that are hard for most people to imagine, let alone understand. You can find anonymous help and connections that do understand at 7 cups of tea.
Crises never end.
$10 really does make a difference and you’ll never miss it,
Whether you are a in a position of leadership, one of the go-to people on your team or on the lowest rung of the ladder you need to know about 
