It’s not that I actively dislike the holidays; it’s more a passive thing. More ‘here we go again’ than ‘bah humbug’. But I do early love the word ‘humbug’.

For those of you who don’t know, ‘humbug’ means

1. something intended to delude or deceive.
2. the quality of falseness or deception.
3. a person who is not what he or she claims or pretends to be; impostor.
4. something devoid of sense or meaning; nonsense: a humbug of technical jargon.

It’s an old fashioned word, but the ideas it represents with that in mind, here are some examples of usage and all of

Let’s start with Edmond de Goncourt, who offered this profound insight that’s as true now as it was when he said it more than a century ago, “People don’t like the true and simple; they like fairy tales and humbug.”

Winston Churchill weighs in with a wonderfully irreverent (and accurate) comment on “democratic freedom” that really resonates as the 2012 Presidential race starts up, “I had no idea of the enormous and unquestionably helpful part that humbug plays in the social life of great peoples dwelling in a state of democratic freedom.”

Alfred Bernhard Nobel (as in Nobel Prize) said, “Second to agriculture, humbug is the biggest industry of our age,”—whereas these days humbug is second to none.

And now, I leave you with this provocative tidbit from Norton Juster, “’How can you see something that isn’t there?’ yawned the Humbug, who wasn’t fully awake yet.

‘Sometimes it’s much simpler than seeing things that are,’ he said. ‘For instance, if something is there, you can only see it with your eyes open, but if it isn’t there, you can just as easily see it with your eyes closed.’”

Flickr image credit: Dana Lookadoo

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‘Sustainable’ always finds an audience, especially when you can relate them to unusual topics.

This one is especially useful, because it applies to gardeners, those interested in healthcare and vampires—the liquid inside young coconuts is used as a substitute for blood plasma.

For those who have trouble waking up and mainline coffee in the morning you can suggest this healthy alternative, apples, not caffeine, are more  efficient at waking you up in the morning, but I don’t know why.

In case you end up making conversation with snobs who love showing off their wealth you can mention that they should be careful around the salad dressing, since pearls dissolve in vinegar.

Finally, to lift the mood of the over-fifty remind them that oak trees don’t produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older and that they are at least as proficient as a tree.

Image credit: Tomorrow Never Knows

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Why in the world would I choose a poet who’s life barely reached into the Twentieth Century (1850-1919 to provide insight to both workers and mangers? Because real wisdom is ageless, what changes are the words and style used to communicate it.

You’re already familiar with Wilcox through paraphrasing of some of her work; for example, “Laugh and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone; For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth, But has trouble enough of its own”

Life is full of choices and the way we choose is dictated by our MAP, or as Wilcox said, “’Tis the set of the sail that decides the goal, and not the storm of life”

I’m a big proponent of deep thinking, something that can’t happen when you are wired and connected. Wilcox made this point beautifully in this short rhyme.

“When the great universe was wrought
To might and majesty from naught,
The all creative force was -
THOUGHT.”

Thinking goes hand in hand with learning and then sharing what is learned with others. The problem is that some people want to share first and these words seem written especially for them,

“Live to learn, and learn to live
If you want to give men knowledge
You must get, ere you give.”

Here’s some great advice for managers, “A pat on the back is only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, but is miles ahead in results.”

Finally, here are six words that can serve as a foundation for both entrepreneurs and companies working to create a culture of innovation, “Change is the watchword of progression”

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After wasting more than an hour looking for interesting Halloween quotes I decided there weren’t any that I didn’t use last year. James Joyce, on the other hand, said many interesting things and some of them are make useful guidelines for anyone working to get ahead.

“A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.” Whether you consider yourself a genius or not, look for opportunities the next time you screw up instead of running for cover.

Joyce understood that everything we do in the present influences who we become, or, in his own words, “I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day.” He phrased it more simply a different time, “I am who I am because of who I was.”

If you just saw these words today you would probably attribute them to some current entrepreneur or corporate honcho, but they were uttered by Joyce more than 70 years ago, “I want to work with the top people, because only they have the courage and the confidence and the risk-seeking profile that you need.”

Most of us think a bit of immortality would be pretty cool, but Joyce made sure he of his—and it worked. “I’ve put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant, and that’s the only way of insuring one’s immortality.”

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Everywhere you turn these days you see ‘entrepreneurs’, whether it’s the kid on the corner with a lemonade stand, the owner of the new cupcake shop or Mark Zuckerberg—they are all entrepreneurs.

Entrepreneurs aren’t a new phenomenon, some five centuries ago Niccolo Machiavelli offered a definition that still holds true, “Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage.”

Victoria Claflin Woodhull put it a bit differently, “Entrepreneurs are risk takers, willing to roll the dice with their money or reputations on the line in support of an idea or enterprise.”

Roy Ash offers a shorter, pithier description, “An entrepreneur tends to bite off a little more than he can chew hoping he’ll quickly learn how to chew it.”

Ted Turner, a successful entrepreneur himself, offers a slightly cynical take on the current love affair with entrepreneurs, “My son is now an “entrepreneur.” That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.”

Pete du Pont points out something of which many people aren’t aware, i.e., the entrepreneurial path is rarely straight line, “That’s the way it is with entrepreneurial people. You try one thing, it doesn’t work, you try another.”

Nolan Bushnell doesn’t mince words in stating the most important entrepreneurial trait, “The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It’s as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer.”

Most people enjoy stories about accidental entrepreneurs, but few realize that Richard Branson is one of them, “I wanted to be an editor or a journalist, I wasn’t really interested in being an entrepreneur, but I soon found I had to become an entrepreneur in order to keep my magazine going.”

That’s all for today; be sure to join me tomorrow to hear about a universal truth that might surprise you.

Image credit:Amber Strocel

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Today is National Boss day and, contrary to what some think, it was not conceived by Hallmark to sell more cards. It was actually registered Patricia Bays Haroski in 1958 in honor of her boss, who was also her father. So in honor of all bosses out there, from team leaders to CEOs, I offer up these quotes by and about bosses.

According to H. S. M. Burns, “A good manager is a man who isn’t worried about his own career but rather the careers of those who work for him.” There are plenty of managers that still meet that description, but they don’t make good media fodder.

Culture is proof that likes attract, which is why you find so many managers who fit Peter Drucker’s description in the same company. “So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work.”

Not to mention the truth of as spoken by General Joe Stillwell, “The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind.”

Sam Walton saw bosses in a different light, “There is only one boss. The customer. And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else.” What Walton didn’t see is that workers are also customers of their boss and they, too, can vote with their feet.

And Robert Frost offers up irreverent advice for those who want to become bosses, “By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.”

After spending more than a decade as a recruiter I can attest to the truth of John Gotti’s comment, “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”

Finally, for all those stuck in a Dilbert-like world there is Homer Simpson’s fantasy to fuel yours, “Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?”

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A number of you wrote and requested that today be dedicated to Steve and so it is.

Since this post is in memoriam, it seemed reasonable to choose quotes that touched on death–directly or not. Obviously, death was just another fact to be considered.

First, Jobs words regarding Internet entrepreneurs ought to be tattooed on their frontal lobe or at least be mandatory reading.

“The problem with the Internet startup craze isn’t that too many people are starting companies; it’s that too many people aren’t sticking with it. That’s somewhat understandable, because there are many moments that are filled with despair and agony, when you have to fire people and cancel things and deal with very difficult situations. That’s when you find out who you are and what your values are.

So when these people sell out, even though they get fabulously rich, they’re gypping themselves out of one of the potentially most rewarding experiences of their unfolding lives. Without it, they may never know their values or how to keep their newfound wealth in perspective.”

Most everyone has seen the following text taken from a commencement speech Jobs made at Stanford.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

But what is more rarely shown is the paragraph that preceded it and puts it in true perspective.

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.”

Over the years, millions of words were written on what makes Steve Jobs run, but the true answer is easily found in his own words.

“.. almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Finally, these nine words perfectly sum up Steve Jobs driving goal.

“I want to put a ding in the universe.”

And I don’t think there is any question that he succeeded.

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I found this great list of dumb boss quotes and thought I’d share my favorites along with my editorializing. You can check out the rest of the list here. There’s an old saying that people don’t quit companies, they quit managers and today’s quotes will tell you why.

First up is the manager who exemplifies the Peter Principle, “I’ve noticed that our ‘cost of goods sold’ rise whenever we experience greater sales. What can we do to reverse this trend?”

Then there is the obviously caring manager known for his leadership skills, “I’m getting a new company car new week. Please call the dealer and ask him to delay the delivery until after Wednesday’s layoffs. I want to appear sensitive.”

Many times what managers tell candidates in an interview isn’t exactly the way things work on the job, “I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input would have any effect on my final decision.”

Other managers don’t bother to pretend, “I threw your suggestion away. Only managers can make suggestions.”

Some managers give are known for putting their people in no-win situations, “If you are on schedule, then your plan was not aggressive enough. If you are behind schedule, you must be goofing off.”

There are many managers who really don’t have a clue when it comes to motivation, “Don’t worry, give it a try. You have nothing to fear but failure, demotion and termination.”

Just in case you think that these are all fiction, the following were added by readers.

From Sophia: “You are not here to think, you are here to do.”

From dliney: Manager: “We’re going to promote you- you’ll be like a faculty member.”
Staff: “Then there will be a raise”
Manager: “Uh-no.”

From cwbailey64: “Frankly, I know I hired you, but you have to admit… you have no talent.”

Anonymous: Everyone who disagrees with me signify by saying “I resign.”

I hope enjoyed these as much as I did and will take a minute and add your own to the collection.

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Interviewing; everybody’s favorite thing, right up there with root canals and ironing. Having spent more than ten years as a headhunter (my term of preference) I’ve heard a lot of off-beat, weird and totally illegal. That was a long time ago and by comparison the list on BNET is tame, but still outside the ordinary.

A number of the questions were from high tech companies and turned on math, but I wonder if they use the same questions for marketing and other critical non-tech functions—or maybe they don’t consider them critical.

• How do you weigh an elephant without using a weigh machine? (Reportedly from IBM)
• Given the numbers 1 to 1000, what is the minimum number of guesses needed to find a specific number if you are given the hint “higher” or “lower” for each guess you make? (Reportedly from Facebook)
• How many basketballs can you fit in this room? (Reportedly from Google)

The next question strikes me as a hot potato, at the least, or a political grenade depending on the response.

• Why do you think only a small portion of the population makes over $150,000? (Reportedly from New York Life)

The supposed point of this question it to see how candidates would handle a job for which they had no preparation or experience. I wonder how well it works, especially since so many young people work in pizzerias during school—but maybe not in Germany.

• What would you do if you just inherited a pizzeria from your uncle? (This question comes from Volkswagen.

I like this one, but you have to wonder what happens when the candidate names a superhero and the interviewer isn’t familiar with it.

• If you could be any superhero, who would it be? (Reportedly from AT&T)

Considering the above questions, perhaps this one should be asked of the interviewers and not the candidates.

• Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 how weird you are (Reportedly from Capital One)

Image credit: Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Technology quotes were really fun; I found a lot more than I can use today, so you can expect more on the subject on some Sunday in the future.

Let’s start with an overview from Arthur C. Clarke, who said, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” Ain’t that the truth.

Al Boliska brings up a good point, too, “Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight?” But I think his tongue is firmly in his cheek.

Business loves to claim that progress is always positive, but John F. Kennedy had a different idea, “I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.”

Our scientists are working on it as Alfred North Whitehead reminds us, “Ideas won’t keep; something must be done about them.” However, even when something is done they may still stink like rotten fish.

More than 50 years before the Internet Gertrude Stein said, “Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.” That certainly explains a lot of actions since, doesn’t it?

Finally, I offer you the (possible) wisdom of Georges Pompidou, “There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians.” Now that’s something to share with your development or IT department.

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