The most overused and abused words in almost any language are ‘lead’ and its close cousins ‘leader’ and ‘leadership’.

People are constantly exhorted to “step up and be leaders” and to “cultivate leadership skills” and therein lies my difficulty.

I googled a number of places and here is a partial list of leadership traits; I’m sure you can add many more.

Do you see the same problem I see?

Ignoring how they are interpreted, these are the traits that allow people to be decent human beings, no matter what they do in life.

Of course, the interpretation is colored by ideology and MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™), sometimes so highly colored that a person on the ‘other side’ won’t recognize them—politics and religion are two areas where this is most obvious—but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

If you prefer to see developing these and other ‘leadership traits’ as laying the basis for your emerging as a leader that’s fine, as long as the development isn’t contingent on your advancement to a certain position.

Ever wonder if there is one trait beyond all others that leaders of all kinds have and is obvious in every situation?

Join me Thursday for the answer.

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Here’s a great way to start a new year and a new decade. Dan McCarthy is hosting The January 3rd Leadership Development Carnival: Best of 2009 Edition, with 50 fabulous posts from a variety of savvy folks.

My two favorites are John Hunter’s The CEO is Only One Person and Mark Stelzner’s Common Sense is Not So Common, but there are a lot more that are worth your time.

Only one thing left to say—enjoy!

Let’s start off with Mary Jo Asmus with Encouraging Pure Possibility, from her Aspire blog.
Use these powerful coaching questions and you’ll turn a negative conversation into one about possibilities!

Next up is Art Petty presenting Leadership Caffeine-The Cure for Tired Leader Syndrome (TLS) posted at Management Excellence. In this important public service announcement, Art discovered a new ailment – Tired Leader Syndrome! Fortunately, Dr. Petty has the cure. While you’re at it, check out Art’s new Building Better Leaders offering – very cool.

Wally Bock presents Can leadership be taught? posted at Three Star Leadership Blog. Wally is spot on with his answer, and the comments he received are worth reading too.

Here’s more excellant leadership coaching advice from Steve Roesler, presenting Leadership: You’ll Know Them When They Know You posted at All Things Workplace. This one made me pause and reflect.

Becky Robinson paused to reflect on her birthday, and offers this inspiration for the new year, Happy Birthday to Me! – Mountain State University LeaderTalk posted at Mountain State University LeaderTalk.

Bret Simmons stirred the pot with Engagement Soup posted at Bret L. Simmons – Positive Organizational Behavior. Are you really measuring employee engagement? Find out.

“Encouraging talent mobility, which is a key way to build better leaders, takes more than using standard incentives such as money.” Amy Wilson presents When will we get serious about Talent Mobility? posted at TalentedApps, the hosts of next month’s Carnival.

And here’s the host of last month’s Carnival, Mark Stelzner, with Common Sense is Not So Common, posted at Inflexion Point. Good advice here from Mark – never, ever yank the pants off your VP. Read Mark’s hysterical post to find out more.

Tanmay Vora has been a regular Carnival contributor and a Twitter advocate for Great Leadership. Here’s his best from 2009, GIVING is GROWING – Generosity and Leadership, posted at QAspire. More great advice to start the year – on the importance of giving. Ok, I’m in!

Another blogger I got to know in 2009 is Jennifer V. Miller. Here’s Praising Mastery | The People Equation posted at The People Equation. After reading this, I’ll bet you’ll become a regular too.

Who else could get a Presidential audience at the Kennedy Center shouting, “Bruuuce!”? From the spring of 2009, Scott Eblin shares some thought on what leaders can learn from the Boss, Kennedy Center honoree, Bruce Springsteen. Scott Eblin presents What Leaders Can Learn from Springsteen posted at Next Level Blog.

Here’s the remarkable Kevin Eikenberry, from Leadership Learning (and host of the “Best of Leadership Blogs” contest), with Leadership Lessons Everyday.

Miki Saxon has been a regular contributor to the Carnival and just loves to disagree with me. (-:
Here’s another gem from Miki’s MAPping Company Success: What you do shows how everybody leads, manages and sells all the time.

Even leaders need a little refresh every now and then – Lisa Rosendahl presents Exit A Funk and Seize The Day posted at Lisa Rosendahl. Thanks, Lisa, we needed that!

“Corporate trust is at an all time low. Leaders need to work toward creating a work environment that will allow healing to begin.” Sharlyn Lauby, a future host of the Carnival, presents Trust posted at HR Bartender. Stop by for beverage and some conversation.

Mike Henry, from the Lead Change Group, gives us Unique Difference. A great post and comments.

“In this “Best of 2009″ submission, see what you can learn from how Army Rangers school prepares elite troopers for the most challenging tasks. And see what you might learn about preparing your leaders to be able to handle any mission! Rangers Lead the Way!” Tom Magness presents Rangers Lead The Way posted at Leader Business. Gotta love Tom’s passion. (-:

From John Ingham: “My best leadership post from 2009? Not a very typical blog post but I like it as a case study of an organisation developing clarity about where it’s going and then aligning action behind this: Visa Europe: What do you want to be when you grow up.”

Erik Samdahl presents The Leadership Competencies That Matter Most in Today’s Trying Economic Times posted at i4cp.

From Mike Myatt: “A message that definitely needs to be heard!” - The Power of Listening | N2Growth Blog posted at N2Growth Blog. Mike, thanks for all of the Twitter support for Great Leadership!

“Leaders see what’s coming. They anticipate how their opponents will attack them and they use that knowledge when developing their plans in the first place.” Jason Seiden presents Success Tip: Expect to Get Punched posted at Seiden Leadership.

Here’s Janna Rust with DISC Styles: Are You a Tortoise or a Hare, from Purposeful Leadership.

Eric Pennington gives us Don’t be charmed by security, posted at Epic Living.

You may have gotten to know Aaron Windeler as a regular commentor at Great Leadership. Here he presents Leadership training that increases the bottom line posted at Scientific Management.

“Dan suggested we look for our 2009 “greatest hit”, which is a good idea. However I don’t know what criteria I would use to decide what that would be so I’ve elected to pick the topic that means the most to me, which is, leadership that results in performance rather than excuses for lack of performance. Happy New Year to all and a great 2010!” Bill Matthies presents Failure: “I Can Explain” posted at Business Wisdom: Words to Manage By.

“The management system is far more important than one person.” John Hunter presents The CEO is Only One Person posted at Curious Cat Management Improvement Blog.

From the cranky Wayne Turmel: “Dan, I think this is the most important Cranky show we’ve done in a couple of years. The world of work has changed and senior Leadership is caught like a deer in the headlights when it comes to remote working, changing the workplace and what it all means. I know you usually do blog posts but you’ve posted Cranky shows in the past and this one is important…..” Your Senior

Mgmt Doesn’t Get Remote Working John Blackwell.

Nick McCormick presents Managers, Do Your Job! posted at Joe and Wanda on Management.

Michael Ray Hopkin gives us The Price of Leadership, from Lead on Purpose. Good stuff, as always!

“My most popular post of 2009, with some great tips from communications expert Diana Booher!” – Jennifer McClure presents 6 Tips For Developing “Executive Presence” – Cincy Recruiter’s World posted at Cincy Recruiter’s World. Jennifer, where have you been, I miss your posts!

“Almost everyone in the team would want to become a leader, but there are very few who would actually have the characteristics to be a team leader.” – Nissim Ziv presents What Makes a Good Team Leader? How to Be a Good Team Leader? posted at Job Interview & Career Guide.

Mike King presents The Problem with Leadership | Learn This posted at Learn This.

Matt Paese , from Talent Management Intelligence, presents A Startling Shock of Insight. While you’re at it, check out DDI’s Top 10 2010 Talent Resolutions.

“Elective courses in ethics, responsibility and moderation in MBA programs follow scandal-plagued eras. No surprise they are back now.” -John Agno presents Disenchantment with MBAs Today posted at Coaching Tip: The Leadership Blog.

GL Hoffman gives us Pushing on a Rope, from What Would Dad Say.

“I don’t write too much about leadership, but this post that was inspired by basketball coach and announcer Jeff Van Gundy seemed to resonate with my readers.” – Steve Boese presents The Wisdom of Jeff Van Gundy posted at Steve’s HR Technology. Steve, you should write about leadership more often.

“This article got more views and discussions than any other single blog post all year – so a likely candidate for a Best of 2009 Carnival! The premise is that leaders need to be able to inspire hope in their teams. It doesn’t mean they forego vision or results, but they will accomplish so much more by also being a Hopeful Leader!” – Erin Schreyer presents The Hopeful Leader posted at Authentic Leadership. I can see why it got so many views – nice job, Erin! And thanks for all of your Twitter support, I really appceciate it.

Dr. Charles H. Polk presents Gone to Complacency, Every One: The Emergent Leader Crisis – Apex Thinking: Words from Dr. Charles H. Polk posted at Apex Thinking: Words from Dr. Charles H. Polk.

Tom Glover, a promsing new blogger, gives us What is Reflection, posted at Reflection Leadership.

Jane Perdue, the HR Goddess, presents Positive Influence, Positive Power posted at Life, Love & Leadership.

“With the New Year, I’d like to share a tip regarding being the new leader on the scene. Most often you are replacing a leader who is off to other pursuits, the leader leaving the situation may offer you some advice on those who need a heavy hand. Truth be told. Your future experiences with the team will be different from the other’s leaders. Your problem staff will be different from the other leaders. So when faced with this advise from a fellow leader, what do you do?” Elyse Nielsen presents Learning to Lead – Own Your Judgements posted at Anticlue.

Barry Zweibel presents Out-Loud Leadership posted at GottaGettaBLOG!.

Kevin Kim presents What is flat leadership? posted at hour9.

“In this article I want to discuss a few ideas which may help you to set goals more consciously and also introduce a practical way to actually get them achieved.” – Manager skill presents Achieving your goals posted at Manager skill.

Bob Lieberman presents The Wisdom Of Fallow posted at Cultivating Creativity – Developing Leaders for the Creative Economy.

Dean L. Forbes presents How to Always Make Good Decisions posted at Dean L. Forbes – Powerful Principles of Personal Growth.

Rose King presents 100 Lectures Every Leader Should Listen To posted at Online Classes.org.

Mike King presents The Problem with Leadership | Learn This posted at Learn This.

“Being a leader means having to critique your employees. Learn how to give constructive criticism to various types of individuals.” – Ralph Jean-Paul presents The Ultimate Guide to Giving and Taking Constructive Criticism posted at Potential 2 Success.

And finally, here’s the last act of the Carnival, at #50, my own The Cowardly Manager’s Guide to Dealing with Poor Performers. I’m not sure if it was my “best”, but it sure got a lotta hits, thanks to my friends at SmartBrief.

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2010 is not only a new year it’s a new decade; are you looking forward to big changes in your life? I am.

I thought I’d take today to tell you about mine and you can use comments to talk about yours.

Fortunately it’s not just good things that end, but also the not-so-good and the downright rotten. That includes 2009 and converting a consulting service into easily useable software and creating a new form of “Help” that is actually useful and useable.

• The biggest change on my horizon is (finally) the release Q1 of Option Sanity™, a SAAS (software as a service) product that’s been a bear to develop.

• Another change stems from the demise of Leadership Turn, the blog I’ve written for b5 Media for the last two-and-a-half years.
  • Many of my regular readers from LT are joining our community and that will increase our interaction, i.e., more comments, discussions and requests to address topics of interest to you.
  • I’m incorporating 3 of Leadership Turn’s weekly features
    • Tuesday’s Ducks in a Row: offering what-to’s, why-to’s and how-to’s about culture, managing and motivation;
    • Thursday’s Leadership’s Future: musings and commentary on topics that affect where we go in the future, such as education, attitudes, etc.;
    • Sunday’s Quotable Quotes which will run in addition to the mY generation comic
  • Saturday’s article links will be  under the new category of Expand Your Mind;
  • More of my own take on ‘leadership’—why initiative equates to leadership and how it should be a core competency and not just a vision by the person out front;
  • By the end of the month all my content from Leadership Turn (there were other authors previously) will be posted here and searchable from the main search box (we’re working out the technicalities now).

I have other major changes in the works, either too personal or too boring to share, but since those I’ve mentioned account for 85% of my focus you aren’t missing anything—suffice it to say I’m one of those dinosaurs who chooses not to live my private life online.

That’s what’s up with me—what’s up with you?

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December** 31 is a difficult night for many people.

It’s often the night when the mental filing cabinets and cupboards in which we stash all the woulda/coulda/shoulda, unhappy and plain old bad stuff of our lives pop open at the same time and we find ourselves buried.

And that means we often start the New Year depressed.

To avoid this people attend frantic parties and/or drink too much—anything to avoid having their mind start down the slippery slope.

Others hole up and just cope, counting the hours until New Year’s is gone for another year.

Knowing this first hand I thought I’d share how I’ve handled my New Year’s Eve for the last few years.

I found the first thing is to understand that you won’t be hit with a thunderbolt if you go to bed before midnight. That may sound funny, but most of us are brainwashed from an early age that we must stay up and “see the New Year in.”

I was amazed how much easier my life got when I finally rid myself of that attitude; doing so lifted a great weight and gave me a feeling of freedom that’s very difficult to describe.

Here’s what I did that year and do now.

1. Plan a very indulgent dinner by treating yourself to something you don’t normally have—prime rib, lobster, filet—it doesn’t matter as long as it isn’t your normal fare.
2. Think about what you want to drink, if anything. Champagne is an automatic choice that owes itself more to marketing and brainwashing than personal preference, so think about what really turns you on, what you like to sip and savor—a special cocktail, single malt, designer beer (yes, beer).
3. Increase the indulgence with a dessert you love, but never allow yourself to have.
4. Tell your good friends where you’ll be and that they are free to stop by, call, IM, tweet, whatever. Don’t tell anyone who doesn’t have their act together and chooses to go the drunk and/or depressed route. It’s a lot easier to be dragged down than it is to lift up someone who chooses to go the other way—you know the difference.
5. There are many way to spend your evening
   1. deep in a book you’ve been dying to read, but didn’t have time;
   2. soak in a hot bath until you’re well-done and wrinkled;
   3. rent a movie that you’ve been promising yourself or a long time favorite—better yet, rent two;
   4. catch up on your sleep, seriously If you are exhausted, really tired, have your dinner, soak in a hot tub or take a hot shower and go to bed. Think about it. How many times over the years have you found your eyes closing and forcing yourself to stay awake until midnight?
6. Be kind, to yourself and to those who move through or live in your world; doing so is the best way to be kind to yourself, too.
7. Even if ‘d’ above doesn’t apply skip the propaganda and go to sleep at your normal time.

This advice doesn’t just apply to singles, it works equally well for couples (amazing what taking a hot shower together can lead to:), especially if it’s been a year as tough as 2009.

Finally, if you are very bored and want to chat, you can reach me New Year’s Eve at 866.265.7267 or use the chat box at the right. I’m always up for good conversation.

Have a wonderful New Year’s and remember, it will be over before you know it.

**A hat tip and my thanks to David Dougherty for catching my typo of “January 31″ and notifying me.

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Hat tip to Dan McCarthy who cites a study by Deloitte and asks whether best practices are reality or illusion.

Their research shows that luck alone can account for above average corporate performance for many years.

I haven’t read the study, but I did read Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers: The Story of Success and there is a lot to be said for luck.

Not the kind of luck that wins a lottery, but the “right time, right place” kind.

I saw it first hand during my 20+ years headhunting. When the economy was hot and talent scarce anybody could (and did) become recruiters because companies were so desperate they hired almost every warm body that even vaguely fit the opening.

During the expansion of the nineties, what percentage of a stock rising was skill and how much market serendipity? By the same token how much of the rise was leadership skill and how much a market that not only lifted all boats, but also responded with outsize euphoria to anything that sounded good?

This applies just as much to individuals.

I’m not saying that skill isn’t important or that it won’t offset many factors, but so is timing.

The problem is that you can’t choose when you are born or what the economy will be like when you reach the corner office or get that great promotion; you can only do your best with the situation in which you find yourself.

So when you do look to others for pointers and best practices, be sure that the economy and their circumstances are the same as yours or at least parallel enough to be worthwhile.

Think about it.

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How do you feel when you read something presented as a unique insight into a subject and it turns out to be the same old tire stuff that you’ve seen for years?

That’s how I felt when I read The Coming Leadership Gap: What You Can Do About It by John Ryan, president of the Center for Creative Leadership.

I’ve been hearing the term ‘leadership gap’ for years, yet Ryan writes that his company just coined it.

Based on our [global] survey, there are four skills that executives all over the world believe will be most important just five years from now: leading people, strategic planning, inspiring commitment, and managing change.

Most important starting 2015?

Good grief, I haven’t done a survey, but I’d say those four skills have been important for decades hundreds of years, more actually.

I’m sure Attila the Hun found them critical when he conquered the known world. In fact, odds are that they were on the mind of the first Cro-Magnon clan chieftain when he fought his neighbor.

Pity our poor world when the people running global enterprise think they have five years before they need to master these skills.

One of the comments was especially perceptive; in part it said,

Various management gurus from the 1950’s have said the same thing over and over again. Yet despite this each generation of corporate leaders repeat the mistakes off their predecessors in that they fail to invest in leadership and management development. I believe the answer lies firstly in a change of mindset. –John Coxon

Now we are getting somewhere.

It’s MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™); it’s always been MAP and it will always be MAP that is the problem—or the solution.

Before and after 2015 it will be the executives and managers who get it; who understand that these skills need to be embedded in the company’s DNA; they are not CEO skills, but core competency requirements to thrive in the 21^st Century.

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When was it lost?

We choose whom to hire/follow/marry/date/befriend—or not.

Some of those choices work out and some don’t, but it’s when we choose someone who’s flawed, who just isn’t nice, that bothers us the most—think Bernie Madoff.

How could we have missed it—it always seems so obvious after the fact—and we end up wondering why our social judgment is so faulty.

A couple of years ago I read an article about research that shows infants do just as good a job discerning the difference between naughty and nice as Santa does.

Babies as young as 6 to 10 months old showed crucial social judging skills before they could talk, according to a study by researchers at Yale University’s Infant Cognition Center published in Thursday’s journal Nature…the Yale team has other preliminary research that shows similar responses even in 3-month-olds.

Ouch.

So what happens between 6 months and the future? Why do we hire/follow /marry/date/befriend the oh-so-obviously wrong people?

Why do we make so many poor choices?

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Have you ever wondered what the perfect attitude is? Not just a top dog or the person out front, but for any entrepreneur who aspires to succeed and, for that matter, every person who lives and breaths.

I recognize it when I see it, know when I’m doing it, and can explain it when I’m coaching, but I’ve never seen it so perfectly boiled down to ten short words—all self-explanatory, nothing to look-up or study or requiring training.

I found those words in a friend’s description of how his daughter lives.

Like 3 year olds, be passionate, humble, impatient, grateful…daily.

Do it and change your life—and your world—guaranteed!

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Mark Stelzner at Inflexion Point is host for the December Leadership Development Carnival and he’s done it with such flair and good imagery that it’s silly for me to try and improve his snowstorm analogy.

Although the weather outside may be frightful, this Carnival’s writers are so delightful. So stoke the fire, grab a blanket and get ready to curl up with some of the best leadership writing from the past thirty days. Cozy yet? Good… let’s jump right in.

Leadership Whiteout

The good thing about a whiteout is that you have no choice but to stop and pay attention:

• Wally Bock of Three Star Leadership warns you to Mind The Leadership Gap.
• Art Petty of Management Excellence reflects on the year in Leadership Style 2009 – What We Learned.
• Taleo’s Alice Snell calls out the Leadership Void.
• Find some direction with Bret Simmons’ You Will Lead The Same Way You Follow, So Be Careful About How You Follow.
• Aspire’s Mary Jo Asmus provides terrific guidance with, What Do You Believe About Leadership?
• Janna Rust of Purposeful Leadership offers Coaching: How the Best Leaders Teach.

Surviving The Blizzard

2009 has been anything but easy:

• Coaching Tip’s John Agno leads us off with Six Essential Leadership Traits for Hard Times.
• Barbra Sundquist of Become a Certified Coach offers great tips on How To Help Someone Who Is Stuck.
• Working Girl’s Laura Schroeder taps into employees’ Enlightened Self-Interest.
• Miki Saxon of MAPping Company Success shares The Secret of Motivation.
• HR Bartender Sharlyn Lauby shares her tale of Workplace Ethics and the Three Monkeys.
• Nick McCormick channels John Spence of Awesomely Simple in You Become What You Focus On.
• Mountain State University’s Becky Robinson states the importance of Creating Community.

Plowing Through

We often have no choice but to push forward:

• MoneyNing’s David Ning has 12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Get More Done.
• James of Organize IT supplies an Emergency Response Guide.
• Patti Blevins suggests you Develop Your Prosperity Consciousness.
• Without Warning Coach Rodney Johnson throws down in Wrestling With Alligators.
• The People Equation’s Jennifer Miller breaks through The Ambiguity Factor.
• Scientific Management’s Aaron Windeler provides 4 Leadership Tactics That Help The Bottom Line.
• Chris Young of Maximize Possibility offers 5 Ways To Keep “Accountability” From Becoming A Buzzword.

Finding Snowflakes

Let’s face it, some employees/leaders may be more unique than others:

• Great Leadership’s Dan McCarthy reminds us that High Potential Notification Guidelines should not be too heavy or too light.
• GeekMBA360 lets you in on the Dirty Secrets of Performance Reviews.
• Amy Wilson of TalentedApps uses her senses in Be Their Eyes And Ears.
• Andy Klein of the Fortune Group tells us Why Leaders Must Hold People Accountable (or deserve their failure).
• Lisa Rosendahl of Simply Lisa states that Leadership Is Only As Good As The Leader.
• Dallas Bragg of Developing Daily offers helpful tips on Mentoring New Employees.
• The Mentor Club’s Louise Moule quantifies The X Factor Of A Consultant.
• Miki Saxon of Leadership Turn provides a simple truth in Real Leaders Are Fair.

Brain Freeze

Sure it’s cold, but that’s really no excuse:

• Madeleine Van Hecke’s post on SharpBrains teaches us to Train Your (Brain’s) Autopilot (and how to turn it off).
• Management Issues’ Wayne Turmel shakes up your inner lizard in Reptilian Brains.
• Anne Perschel of Germane Consulting asks, Are You Smarter Than A Fish?
• Jonathan Senior of Sharp End Training makes you an instant expert with the Buzz Phrase Generator.

Good stuff. Mark asks, “What issues would you like this crowd to tackle in 2010?” Let me know and I’ll pass on your comments or post them at Mark’s site.

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It’s been awhile since I posted one of my rules and this seems like a good time to give you another.

At first look it may seem to be targeted to a teen or twenty-something audience, but I don’t think so.

I think it’s applicable to anyone breathing.

It’s what you learn
after
you know it all
that counts!

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