Who do kids follow?

For the last several decades study after study have shown that kids pay more attention to the opinions of their peers than their parents.

More and more they take information and process it on their own.

Sure, their opinions are colored by the MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™) of those who raised them, but not necessarily to copy them—sometimes they take the exact opposite position.

When it comes to working there is a belief that Millennials are different from all previous generations.

It’s not so much that what they want in their workplace is different from Boomers and Gen X; it’s that Millennials are more articulate in explaining it, more demanding in receiving it and faster to move if they don’t get it.

Last year I coined a new term, aMillennial, referring to someone who was chronologically of that generation, but without the entitled mentality—it’s the entitlement that irks most people.

In a recent survey new grads talked about staying in their company for 8.9 years, but HR assumes they will leave.

Razor Suleman, the 35-year-old CEO and founder of I Love Rewards, notes that U.S. Department of Labor statistics say most millennials will have 10 jobs by the time they’re 38.

“HR managers turn that around and say. . . . ‘That’s what they’re like,’ ” as if the employees only planned to stay for that long, said Suleman. “They don’t sort of turn it around and say, ‘Hey, wait a second, they wanted to stay 8.9 years and I missed seven years of retention.’ “

Most people look for a job, but hope to find a home.

Think about what you want in your home—great siblings who are interested and willing to help you succeed; great parents who understand that you need to make mistakes to learn and grow, who openly share their knowledge, but don’t expect you to be a carbon copy; who offer ways to stretch yourself with challenging tasks that contribute to the family’s success; a warm, safe physical environment—fancy or not; a fair allowance.

Translated in to workplace terms that’s what all generations want; aMillennials are just more willing to leave home to find it.

“Because if I was in a job that I was paid well, I loved what I was doing, I was empowered to make decisions, I was advancing, why wouldn’t I stay at a company?” — Rob Bianchin, college senior

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I frequently hear from managers in nonprofits that it’s frustrating that so much of the management information available can’t really be implemented in their specialized environment.

I was dumfounded the first time I heard that and asked why not; I’ve ask the same question every time since (a lot of times) and get similar answers.

These usually fall in one of two broad categories

• they are focused on “doing good” unlike “business;” and/or
• they are staffed by volunteers.

I have an accounting friend who hears similar reactions when he insists on good accounting practices and financial controls.

Many say that they are more comfortable with leadership advice, since communicating a vision is part of their job description, but setting standards, developing and implementing accountability and then holding people to them feels too “corporate.”

When this happens I usually refer them to take a look at the path blazed by the Robin Hood Foundation and, more recently, read the interview with Tachi Yamada, M.D., president of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation’s Global Health Program

These five random comments from Yamada are no different than what you’ll hear from any manager skilled in driving innovation, productivity and finding solutions through his people.

• I think the most difficult transition for anybody from being a worker bee to a manager is this issue of delegation. What do you give up? How can you have the team do what you would do yourself without you doing it?
• That probably was the most important lesson I learned — that what’s out there is more important than what you already know, and that you’d better go out and learn what it is out there that you don’t know.
• So what I learned from him is that when you actually are with somebody, you’ve got to make that person feel like nobody else in the world matters. (no cell no blackberry)
• One of the things I’ve learned is that you can’t go into an organization, fire everybody and bring in everybody you want. You have to work with the people you have. … Everybody has their good points. Everybody has their bad points. If you can bring out the best in everybody, then you can have a great organization.

Read the interview and understand that what he talks about applies equally well to small, local non-profits as it does to the multibillion dollar organization he runs—not to mention for-profit businesses of any size.

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There is no dearth of information available and that is especially true when you are looking to improve your management skills.

My cyber buddy Elliot Ross writes an excellent blog about tech for tech challenged SMB managers.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote Self-starter Does Not Mean Self-managed and Elliot used it to discuss the same problem in IT.

In his post he hits the bull’s-eye with a phrase that any manager at any level in any size company would be wise to tattoo on their frontal lobe.

There is a big difference between delegating your IT services, and abdicating them.

Substitute whatever your group does for ‘IT services’ and you have one of the best and most succinct pieces of management advice I’ve ever seen.

But knowing it is not the same as applying it—every time for every person in every situation.

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One reason I love the NY Times is that it runs great articles on new research about what makes us humans tick.

Most of us are aware that there are different forms of communications. Verbal, i.e., words, is the most common, but nonverbal, tone of voice and facial expressions, are often more potent.

And then there is touch.

For years, I’ve read about the importance of touch for infants.

In research with infants, it was shown that gently massaging premature infants three times per day for 15 minutes helped them gain weight, be more alert, and cry less. These infants were released from the hospital sooner than infants who were not massaged.

The latest research confirms the same positive response in adults.

Momentary touches, they say — whether an exuberant high five, a warm hand on the shoulder, or a creepy touch to the arm — can communicate an even wider range of emotion than gestures or expressions, and sometimes do so more quickly and accurately than words.

Two attitudes make this work.

1. Sincerity; people will know if your actions are manipulative as opposed to authentic.
2. Appropriateness; to avoid a negative reaction from anyone use your observational skills and common sense; high fives and similar expressions are the safest, while hugs are the most dangerous. An employee who avoids physical contact with her team is unlikely to appreciate being touched by her boss.

There are many ways to inspire and show you care just as there are many clubs in a golf bag; and just as it is a fallacy to play the whole course with just one club, using only one form of communication to motivate your people is to shortchange them—and you.

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Corporate culture is a big deal these days, often seen as the difference between success and failure.

Millions of words have been used by thousands of people to describe and explain culture, but it pretty much boils down to the following:

• How the people relate to each other professionally and personally; their personalities and interpersonal communications.
• The work environment/atmosphere/ethics/morale/people/style/etc.
• The company’s identity.
• Environment of interaction and judgment.
• The primary reason people join/leave the company/manager.
• The way things really are as opposed to how they’re described (the walk vs. the talk).

Money lures, but culture holds. Culture is why people join a company—and more importantly, why they stay. It is what motivates (or demotivates) them, and cultural changes are frequently why they leave. Additionally, people learn from experience and eventually will reflect the traits of the cultures in which they work; as with other relationships, people will continue to gravitate to the same situation they were in previously.

Cultural elements people want:

• The opportunity to truly “make a difference.”
• To be treated fairly.
• Positive ethics and values.
• To trust management and be trusted by them.
• To embrace the idea that work can and should be fun.
• Accurate prioritizing of company, team and individual goals while keeping them synergistic
• A positive “can-do” attitude (aggressive, but realistic).
• A conscious effort to stamp out “not invented here” syndrome (in all its varied forms), so as to not waste time reinventing the wheel.
• Continuing development and quality improvement in people, product/services and processes.
• Committing to employees, customers, and investors—and meeting those commitments.
• An open, accurate, company-wide flow of information starting from the top.
• An environment that encourages people to reach their full potential, professionally and personally.

What people don’t want:

• Politics: personal, group, or senior management
• Unfairness; favoritism; star mentality
• Unnecessary bureaucracy; inflexible process or bureaucracy masquerading as process
• Poor management practices such as: erratic management; micro-management; workaholism; intimidation; belittling or contemptuous treatment; no loyalty; poor scheduling; the attitude that “we don’t have the time to do it right but we have the time to do it over”
• Any form of harassment whether overt or covert
• A generally negative attitude, i.e., the glass is half empty
• Arrogance or an elitist attitude
• An unwillingness (at whatever level) to seek and implement the compromises necessary to meet organizational needs within the required timeframe

Obviously there are many more philosophies, attitudes, and actions that I could list, but most would fit the spirit, if not the specifics of the two lists.

In general culture comes from, or is enabled by, the top and rarely can be changed from below.

That said, every person in a management role from team leader up creates a subculture in their own organization.

If you are strong enough and believe deeply enough, you can become an umbrella to your organization and shield it from the toxic elements in the overall culture.

But don’t kid yourself; this is a difficult path to choose, so it is wise to make the choice consciously, instead of accidentally bucking your company’s culture.

Join me tomorrow when we look at how to create a culture—or sub-culture.

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Ask any employee at any level what motivates them the most

easy work

low performance standards

no consequences

or

challenging work

higher achievement

accountability

and 9 out of 10 will choose the second list.

So why do school boards do the opposite?

Many school districts follow the lead of the Dallas Independent School District, which follows the first list with slavish devotion.

What happens when the second list is followed instead?

One program is called early-college high school and it mixes college level courses with the normal courses taught in junior and senior years and is offered to at-risk kids, not the over-achieving elite.

North Carolina is the leader and the results are impressive.

“Last year, half our early-college high schools had zero dropouts, and that’s just unprecedented for North Carolina, where only 62 percent of our high school students graduate after four years,” said Tony Habit, president of the North Carolina New Schools Project, the nonprofit group spearheading the state’s high school reform.

In addition, North Carolina’s early-college high school students are getting slightly better grades in their college courses than their older classmates.

Another proponent of the second list is KIPP (Knowledge Is Power Program), which runs charter schools in several states.

Started in 1994 as an experiment with 50 fifth graders in Houston’s inner city, KIPP has blossomed into the biggest U.S. charter school operator, with 82 schools for poor and minority children in 19 states.

KIPP now has an 85% college matriculation rate, compared with 40% for low-income students nationwide, according to a 2008 report card KIPP prepared and posted on its Web site. About 90% of KIPP’s 20,000 students are black or Hispanic; 80% qualify for subsidized meals.

The difference between the two lists can be summed up in one work—expectations.

The foundation of expectations is a belief that whatever it is can be accomplished.

We humans tend to strive to meet the expectations of those around us, be they bosses, friends, parents, teachers or school administrators.

Actions more than words tell us what is expected.

List 1 = low expectations and kids live up to them.

List 2 = high expectations and the kids live up to them.

Which list do you want at your work?

Which list do you support for your kids?

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“What’s more important to you, being right or winning?”

That is what I asked a caller today.

“Frank” has been sequestered on jury duty for several weeks and when he returned to work he found that right after he left his team was assigned a new project and they were just finishing.

Frank said that the project had gone well, was on time and in budget, but he was upset that they had used a different approach from the one he preferred.

That’s when I asked, “What’s more important to you, being right or winning?”

You’d think that was an easy answer, but I was met first with silence and then with multiple reasons proving his approach was better.

He agreed that on time/in budget was a win, but still felt they should have done it his way.

So I ask you, “What’s more important, being right or winning?”

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My thanks to Mark Bennett over at TalentedApps for hosting the February Leadership Carnival.

Don’t be put off by the title; the posts cover a wide range of issues beyond the classic idea of positional leadership.

You’ll find posts on leadership, how-to’s from a coach, management development and more from all your favorite bloggers and the opportunity to discover new ones.

Enjoy!

Dan McCarthy presents What Prevents Leaders from “Connecting the Dots”?, posted at Great Leadership, explaining how in addition to the multitude of external factors that impact our ability to connect the dots, there is also something inside each of us that needs attention too.

Bret L. Simmons presents I Am Responsible For My Success and Failures And For Continuing To Learn From Them, posted at Bret L. Simmons, discussing an important principle in leading a truly empowered life.

Art Petty presents Team Stuck in the Creativity Deep Freeze? Try “Why Not?” to Start the Thaw posted at Management Excellence, providing suggestions for “waking the creative giant hiding inside your people and your teams.”

Becky Robinson presents Todd Pittinsky and Intergroup Leadership posted at Mountain State University LeaderTalk, describing intriguing ways to “increase positive interactions between different subgroups in your organization.”

Miki Saxon presents When Realities Collide posted at MAPping Company Success, which considers the difficulties in engaging the ‘just in time workforce’ to which many companies are moving and asks “how do you get people to care when they know without a doubt that the company doesn’t care about them?”

Coaching Category -

Shawn M. Driscoll presents 4 Simple Steps to Go Signature posted at Shawn Driscoll, providing tips to coaches for reaching a broader audience.

Executive Development Category -

Wally Bock presents Becoming a Great Leader is Up to You posted at Three Star Leadership Blog, saying, “If you want to become a great leader, you have to take responsibility for your own development. Here are some tools you can use.”

Mike King presents 100 Ways to Serve Others posted at Learn This, saying, “Leadership development requires an attitude of service to others. There are 100 ways to serve.”

Leadership Category -

John Agno presents Top 10 Leadership Tips of the Last Decade posted at Coaching Tip: The Leadership Blog, saying, “Here are ten popular leadership lessons learned over the last several years and recommended by John Agno at CoachingTip.com”

Dean L. Forbes presents How to Achieve Your Goals posted at Dean L. Forbes – Powerful Principles of Personal Growth, providing tips for what to do once you’ve set your goals.

Bob Lieberman presents Our Debt To Adolescents posted at Cultivating Creativity – Developing Leaders for the Creative Economy, discussing some interesting coping strategies tapped from younger folks.

Jane Perdue presents Perfectly Matched Or Delightfully Oddball? posted at Life, Love & Leadership, challenging the assumption that all the people in your personal and work circles must be a perfect fit.

Aaron Windeler presents Why a leader with a bad mood can be good for business posted at Scientific Management, discussing evidence that shows us we should consider how our moods affect our followers.

Tom Glover presents Should Leaders Focus on Each Individual Follower? posted at Reflection Leadership, whether leaders should move followers in and out of their “in-group.”

Mike Henry Sr. presents Sources of Leadership posted at Lead Change Group Blog, asking, “What is the source of your leadership authority?”

Anne Perschel presents Why We Love Twitter – What Leaders Should Know posted at Germane Insights, recommending we “create a company-wide private Twitter to achieve desired actions and attitudes.”

Tanmay Vora presents On Leadership, Opening Up and Being Prepared posted at QAspire – Quality, Management, Leadership & Life!, urging us to “stay current, open and receptive to new insights.”

Nick McCormick presents Fill Your Pack posted at Joe and Wanda – on Management, providing a ten-minute Management Tips Podcast with Tim Clark, author of “The Leadership Test.”

Nissim Ziv presents What is the Difference between Management and Leadership posted at Job Interview Guide, saying, “There are many models that depict leadership and management in the business world. In reality management and leadership have very different meanings: a manager is a title and leader is a function. Management is a position and leadership is a skill.”

David Burkus presents Book Review: Leadership & The One Minute Manager posted at davidburkus.com, reviewing a classic book that teaches situational leadership theory.

Erin Schreyer presents To Be or Not to Be? posted at Authentic Leadership, talking about the benefits of being intentional.

Ralph Jean-Paul presents The Persuasion Experiment: 5 Effective Persuasion Techniques Tested posted at Potential 2 Success, saying, “We are constantly trying to persuade others in one direction or another. Whether it is trying to convince your friends to eat at one restaurant instead of another, or getting your boss to give you a raise, being able to persuade other people is important. Leaders must have this skill! In this post, I test 5 persuasion techniques to see if they really work.”

Jennifer V. Miller presents Stepping Into the Abyss posted at Jennifer V. Miller, describing the key factors necessary for employees to feel comfortable giving feedback to their bosses.

William Matthies presents Change: The New You posted at Business Wisdom: Words to Manage By, saying, “If you can’t lead change, it will lead you.”

Eric Pennington presents One Question For Your CEO posted at Epic Living – Leadership Development Career Management Training Executive Life Coaching Author, discussing “maybe the most important question for the CEO, and those who follow him or her.”

Erik Samdahl presents 20 Years and Counting: Leadership Development Once Again the Most Critical Issue Facing Organizations in 2010 posted at Productivity Blog, saying, “Based on a study of over 40 issues, leadership development is the most critical issue: what companies see as important but not effective.”

Lisa Rosendahl presents Have You Checked Your Credibility Lately? posted at Lisa Rosendahl, saying, “You have credibility currency. You trade in it and on it regularly, whether you are aware of it or not. Have you checked your credibility lately?”

Alice Snell presents Seats at Executive Tables posted at Taleo Blog – Talent Management Solutions, saying, “HR needs more Seats at Executive Tables”

Steve Roesler presents How To Get Your Good Ideas Heard posted at All Things Workplace, saying, “Leaders are always looking for other leaders. One way they find them is by watching people who know the importance of getting their ideas heard. Here are some ways to do just that.”

Jon Ingham presents Work sucks, play games! posted at Management 2.0 developing social capital, discussing ideas from a book which suggests using games and virtual worlds to change the way we work.

Tom Magness presents Spider-Senses posted at Leader Business, saying, “Good leaders need ‘Spider-senses.’ The power that comes from listening to that inner voice, from following up on intuition, can save a reputation, a project, or even a life. Take a few lessons from the world’s greatest ‘Webslinger!’”

Management Category -

Barry Zweibel presents The Heart of Effective Personal Management posted at GottaGettaBLOG!, a primer on Stephen Covey’s “Time Management Matrix” from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Laura, a.k.a. working girl presents Working Girls posted at Working Girl, discussing an increasing source of frustration for working women who want to work more effectively.

Sharlyn Lauby presents Anonymous Comments posted at hr bartender, saying, “Managers should ask questions to get better answers and build trust.”

Jim Stroup presents The Management Uncertainty Principle posted at Managing Leadership, saying, “Uncertainty operates not just in physics but in management as well. How can you use it to gain greater control over your work?”

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Today is Super Bowl XLIV, so I thought it only appropriate to offer up some quotes relevant to more than just football—in other words, super quotes.

As you know, sports are often a metaphor for business and other parts of life.

I agree with Knute Rockne’s comment that “one man practicing sportsmanship is far better than fifty preaching it,” only I’d apply it to “leadership.”

Jock Sutherland said, “Speed is not your fastest, but your slowest man. No back can run faster than his interference.” This harks back to the weakest link theory and is true in business and in life.

Darrell Royal’s words are as true for entrepreneurs and they are for any sport, “The only place you can win a football game is on the field, the only place you can lose it is in your hearts.”

I thought it would be nice to end on a lighter vein.

Small errors can make your team focus too much on the words and not enough on their meaning as Bill Peterson should have realized when, while giving a pep talk, he said, “Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.”

Then there are the questions asked in all seriousness, only to bring forth hilarious laughter or shocked silence; as these two examples show.

Before Super Bowl XVIII, Julie Brown asked Cowboys running back Emmitt Smith, “What are you going to wear in the game on Sunday?”

Then there was the reporter who didn’t just put his foot in his mouth, but his entire leg when he asked

Washington Redskins quarterback Doug Williams, “How long have you been a black quarterback?” (Super Bowl XXII)

Sadly, while the questions were preserved, the responses were not.

Finally, there is Duane Thomas’ question, the one could have been asked every year for the last 44, “If it’s the ultimate game, how come they’re playing it again next year?”

Only one thing left to say—GO SAINTS!

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