There are five Fs that come immediately to mind, they are fun, family, friends, food and football.
Of those five only one comes close to being guaranteed good and that’s food, but even food isn’t a given. There was the year that my host’s two Siamese cats stole the turkey—dragged it off the platter, dropped it to the floor, dragged it across an Aubusson carpet and were on the way out one door when I entered another.
Football often depends on whether your team wins, although a good game, as opposed to a romp, can make the difference.
Friends are often a better bet than family since you can pick and choose, but that only works if you’re the host. One friend always invited two people he knew would ignite—one year it was an Arab and an Israeli just after the Six Day War. Talk about fireworks, more like bombs.
Then, of course, there is family. Family is family and blood may be thicker than water, but that doesn’t mean putting the family together in one room will always generate sweetness and light—too often there is a large dose of vinegar and sour grapes. It’s said that leopards don’t change their spots and neither do family members. If they are difficult or you can’t stand them 364 days of the years, they won’t change for the 365th day.
Fun depends either on the first four or your ability to take a step back and laugh—at the food, the game, your friends, your family and, most of all, yourself.
Laughter is the balm that soothes a holiday rash; apply liberally and often.
I’m a bit ambivalent about Thanksgiving along with many other holidays, such as Mother’s Day. While I understand and even agree with the idea of honoring a certain attitude, it seems hypocritical when the attitude exists only on that day.
Sadly, many of the people most vocal about a holiday are the same people whose actions during the rest of the year belie their holiday attitudes.
That said, here are my suggestions regarding Thanksgiving.
No matter how bad things are in your corner of the world give thanks that you are alive to read this. As long as you’re breathing you have a shot at changing your circumstances or improving someone else’s.
Several years ago I had a terminally ill friend. Her final Thanksgiving act was to sign papers consigning all her useable body parts to an organ donor program; she died just a few days later.
Her action infuriated her family, but she had made sure they couldn’t stop her choice. She died knowing that others would live because of that choice.
Which brings us to my second suggestion.
Remember the words of Plato, “Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle,” and follow the advice of Anne Herbert, “Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty” every day.
Get in the habit of doing one small, unplanned thing every day—drop a quarter in an about-to-expire meter; pick up a piece of litter; help someone across the street.
Just think of the difference in our world if everyone did just one random act every day.
I do love writing rhymes for holidays and special friends. And when I read them again a year or decade later I’m always amazed that I don’t die of embarrassment.
Sometimes when things get tough it helps to have something right in front of you to grab hold of; not so much to keep going, but to help you change course.
Changing course is often the best way to get past a problem; it’s no that you ignore it, rather you approach it from another direction—or find that it’s not necessary and just let it go and move on.
Ten years ago my niece sent me a card that I framed. It’s hung on the wall by my desk at three different locations and it still works.
I’ve always said that no one ever really thinks outside their box, they just keep enlarging it. Rather than reprinting these posts, please read three of them here.
And here’s a riddle for a bit of box stretching and Friday fun.
Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer’s beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the farmer’s debt if he could marry his daughter.
Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven.
3) If she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer’s field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.
Logically, there are three choices,
The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat.
The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
But is there a fourth and better way out of the dilemma?
Take a moment to share your idea in comments and if you’re correct I’ll send you a management book (chosen based on your interests). If more than one of you gets it right the winner will be chosen using random.org.
I’ll post the answer next Friday, be sure to come back and see if your mind achieved what the girl’s did.
I’m fortunate to be a member ExpertCEO, an online community of CEOs of startups and fast growing companies that offers peer support and advice.
A couple of weeks ago a member invited everybody to post “things you’d never hear a VC say.”
They were pretty hilarious, with some of the best responses coming from VCs themselves.
Apparently I’m not the only one who felt that they’re too good not to share and today we were presented with a great compilation of the 12 best entries.
Anyone who has worked in a startup or spent time around VCs will appreciate the following; anyone contemplating doing so should appreciate the insights.
I do love writing rhymes for holidays and special friends. And when I read them again a year or decade later I’m always amazed that I don’t die of embarrassment.
No links today, folks, I’m taking the day off and I hope you do, too!
Sometimes when things get tough it helps to have something right in front of you to grab hold of; not so much to keep going, but to help you change course.
Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
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