“We are not made, or unmade, by the things that happen to us but by our reactions to them.” (from a comment on the original post)

I guess everyone has some kind of September 11^th story. I wrote mine in 2009 and am reposting it below.

A Different View of September 11

Much will be done today to commemorate the lives lost on September 11, 2001. The story I’m going to share has a different focus than most and one I believe is worth your time.

Among those who died that day was the husband of a woman I knew casually and because our acquaintance was casual I was surprised when she called nearly six months later.

I’ll call her “Kerry” and we talked for hours, but the kernel I want to share is this.

She needed support to move; not just move on, it was too early for that, but to physically move.

Kerry said the reaction to “Craig’s” death changed when people found out he died in the attack. It changed from sympathy or empathy to an almost macabre interest in how she felt because he died “that way.”

Many seemed to feel that her politics should change (she is ‘liberal moderate’, her words) and that the event should be the main focus not only in her life, but also for her two young daughters and she didn’t want that.

Kerry said she called me because she remembered my saying that I found it sad that John Kennedy Jr.’s life seemed to be defined by his father’s death; that he never was able to become anyone other than the little boy who saluted at the funeral.

Kerry said that she didn’t want her kids to be forever known as “Kristy/Jenny-her-father-was-killed-in-the-September-11-attacks”

The problem was that many of her family and friends were horrified at how she felt. They acted as if losing Craig September 11 made his death a national symbol, not a personal tragedy.

We talked many times over the next few months and the upshot was that Kerry did move far away where no one knew them. When Craig’s death came up in conversation Kerry just said that her husband had died; she said when her daughters were mature enough she would tell them what happened, but not until they had the opportunity for a normal life—not one filled with other people’s baggage.

I think for Kerry I was “the stranger on the plane,” the uninvolved person to whom you can say anything because you will never see or hear from them again and I was honored to play that part.

The death of a parent is always tragic. I know; I was five when the driver of the car in which my father was traveling fell asleep at the wheel and drove off a mountain road.

The point I want to make today is that we don’t forget, but we do move on and as we move we grow and change.

No matter how horrendous the event we all have the ability to choose what defines us and what memories rule our lives.

Never allow others to force you into a role that fits their view of what should define you.

Image credit: Foxtongue

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This article was originally published as The Cost of Being Comfortable on Technorati.

I read an interesting article from a Forbes advisor called A Young World is No Place for Old Corporations; in a nutshell it talks about nostalgia for “what the WSJ calls America’s  ‘Midcentury Moment’, those post war  “golden years of the 1940’s, ‘50s and early ‘60s?” The boom years when Americans forged the world’s new super power, as those in Europe diminished.“

It goes on to say, “During this time US companies became dominant corporations on a world stage, strongly influencing how business was conducted all over the world.

Fast forward to 2011, America now competes in a fierce global market against young and dynamic economies.”

It lauds the dynamic spark that drove the US economy; a common theme, but one I get tired of seeing.

Tired because it only tells only the upside of the story and ignores so much.

I am neither an economist nor an historian, but here is my view of the same history.

• European industry didn’t diminish, it was crippled by WWII.
• The US became dominant because we were the only country in a position to produce as opposed to spending our efforts and money to rebuild.

In other words, in comparison to the material and psychological devastation experienced by the rest of the world what the US suffered was more like a serious inconvenience.

But not too inconvenient, since we kept on producing and selling.

War’s end left us in the cat-bird seat—not rebuilding, just retooling to sell what the rest of the world needed to rebuild.

A lack of competition breeds arrogance, sloppy practices and fat—fat management and fat labor; it is easy to succeed in a world with little-to-no competition.

When countries no longer needed us because they produced their own we were surprised; when they went beyond and more efficiently produced what we produced and innovated where we had not bothered we were shocked.

When comfortable, we humans seem to believe that some version of what is will always be; it isn’t that we don’t believe in change, but we seem blind to radical change.

We are taken by surprise when it happens and long instead for whatever version of the “good old days” brings us back to our (false) comfort zone.

Flickr image credit: Bruce Turner

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There has been much written about implementing change in an organization. I’ve written several articles on change focusing on the need to change yourself before you can expect those around you to change and I stand by those. (Two of them are here and here.)

And as you know I often link to articles and offer my take on them. The trouble with that is that many of my time-pressed readers read what I wrote and promise themselves that they will read the link later, but never do. They either forget or the reminder gets buried under a never-ending avalanche of new stuff to read.

I think today’s link is important, so I’m not going to comment or offer a few quotes.

Since this post is only 188 words, you’ll have time to click and read That’s the Way We (Used to) Do Things Around Here: With a little knowledge of neuroscience, reframing behavior can be the essence of organizational change.

You also might want to consider signing up for strategy+business; you may not always agree with them, I don’t, but I believe you will find them useful.

stock.xchng image credit: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/880737

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Ask people why they blog or “work” social media and you’ll eventually hear that they want to “build their influence” or “extend their reputation and have more influence.”

Much of the commentary around “leadership” cites “vision” and “influence” as hallmarks of a leader.

I know these terms have made me vaguely uncomfortable, but didn’t pin the reason down until recently.

The pinning came during a conversation I had with a client. She was looking for ways to increase her influence with her team. When I asked her the specifics of what she wanted to accomplish she said that she wanted to lead them to do things differently.

Long story short, after more discussion the bottom line was she felt that having more influence would mean that her people would do things her way.

Add that to a recent comment by a blogger that he blogs to share his knowledge and influence people and I had my ah-ha moment for identifying all the vague discomfort I feel when I hear that word.

The definition of influence is the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others.

Notice there is nothing that states the effect is to homogenize others with yourself, although most people see that as implied.

Perhaps I’m an anomaly because I see influence as a goad; a goad that drives people to think, reconsider, reformulate and possibly change along lines they consciously choose as opposed to blindly adopting thoughts/ideas/attitudes/actions—whether mine or someone else’s.

What do you think about influence?

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“New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common.”

Obviously it’s not a new problem, since the above was written by John Locke in 1690, and I’m sure you’ve come up against it more than once.

People go to extreme ends to

• preserve the status quo;
• avoid change;
• indulge a not-invented-here mentality; and
• ‘buy IBM’ (it’s better to be safe than sorry).

The attitude wasn’t original in 1690 and the MAP that fosters it will still be around in 2090.

But despite yards of books and thousands of article and blogs (my own included) on creating change in a company, too many people still don’t get it.

They believe, or want to believe, that if all the right words are said it will happen.

They keep looking for a magic bullet instead of looking in the mirror.

But the only bullet around is the one they need to bite, the one that says that

• change must start with themselves and that it starts with how they think;

• nobody acts differently without thinking differently; and

• talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words, and the actions must be sustainable.

What’s really in your mind will eventually come out, either in word or action, people will notice and they won’t forget.

Image credit: SheCat on flickr

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Today’s post will be relatively short, because I want you to take time to read a NY Times article called Building a Better Teacher.

Education is an industry and from any viewpoint, it’s obvious that American education is in trouble—poor quality, low productivity, enormous turnover and bad press.

There is a raging argument about who are responsible—politicos (who hold the purse strings), administrators or frontline workers, i.e., teachers.

There is a move to shutdown underperforming plants and fire those frontline workers en masse.

Out with the old ad in with the new; the assumption being that “new” always means “better.”

In education as in any industry there are innovators and traditionalists—think Steve Jobs and the executives of the music industry.

Innovators: Deborah Loewenberg Ball, Michigan State’s school of education assistant professor, part time math teacher and originator of Mathematical Knowledge for Teaching, and Doug Lemov, teacher, principal, charter-school founder and author of Lemov’s Taxonomy. (The official title, attached to a book version being released in April, is “Teach Like a Champion: The 49 Techniques That Put Students on the Path to College.”)

Traditionalist: Jonah Rockoff, an economist at Columbia University, who favors policies like rewarding teachers whose students perform well and removing those who don’t but looks skeptically upon teacher training. [because]… no research he can think of has shown a teacher-training program to boost student achievement. So why invest in training when, as he told me recently, “you could be throwing your money away”?

Hmmm, there was no market research to show that a personal music player would sell before the iPod changed history.

Read the article, it points the way to changes that will affect you no matter your age or if you have kids.

Changes that will determine America’s future.

Image credit: St Boniface’s Catholic College on flickr

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Have you noticed that all the stuff written about culture and how to create one that sparks innovation, attracts Millennials, boosts productivity, retains people, etc., consistently boils down to some pretty simple advice.

That lesson was driven home again in a Harvard Business Review post by Melissa Raffoni called Eight Things Your Employees Want From You.

Now think about the kind of culture created when the boss provides them,

Tell me my role, tell me what to do, and give me the rules.

Discipline my coworker who is out of line.

Get me excited.

Don’t forget to praise me.

Don’t scare me.

Impress me.

Give me some autonomy.

Set me up to win.

The descriptions change from writer to writer, but the underlying principles stay the same and have for decades. In fact, workers have craved these basics for centuries, long before the idea of business culture took form.

So, if the desire is that ancient and the pay-back that great why don’t more managers provide the desired environment—they certainly talk enough about it.

Both experience and observation tell me that the lack of implementation tracks back to the boss’ MAP—and the boss’ unwillingness to change it.

Image credit: Svadilfari on flickr

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Yesterday we looked at positive and negative aspects of culture and I said that today we would discuss how to change/create a culture or sub-culture.

Repeating yesterday’s warning: if you want a culture that is fundamentally different from the overall company culutre be sure you’re willing to shield your people and take the heat.

Remembering that culture is a function of your MAP (mindset, attitude, philosophy™), here are 7 critical points that you need to think through before starting—whether you are CEO of a startup or a first level supervisor in a large company.

1. Know who you are: Since this step is strictly between you and yourself you need to be brutally frank as to your attitudes towards people, motivation, what’s important, what’s OK to do, etc., in other words, know your MAP! You need to know exactly what you think, are comfortable with the elements you embrace and understand that you need to hire people who will flourish in the environment you create.
2. Define your cultural goals: Use the knowledge of your MAP to determine the kind of culture you want and write a description including your vision and the specific infrastructure, processes, practices, etc., that are needed to make it reality. Test the attractiveness of your cultural vision by whether you would want to work in a similar culture. If the answer is yes then you can proceed with it; however, if your response is “no way” then you need to rethink what you want because over the long haul there is no way you can sustain a culture in which you don’t believe. Also, people tend to gravitate to people like themselves (likes really do attract). In other words, you will be hired by, work with and hire those with synergistic MAP.
3. Know what you have: Honestly assess (warts and all) whatever culture currently exists in your company and department (if you have one or more people you have some kind of culture); without a detailed assessment you won’t know what you need to tweak, change, circumvent, ignore or avoid.
4. Be aware of the cost of change: Changing culture often results in turnover and turnover can be costly no matter the condition of the labor market. People join companies because they feel comfortable and change is rarely comfortable. If they don’t like the end result (or the direction it’s heading) they are likely to start looking. If you are aware and prepared that isn’t always a bad thing; cultural changes can’t happen if employees aren’t willing to change their mindset; worse, those who won’t change will make every effort to sabotage the emerging culture. By being prepared you can not only circumvent that, but often turn the saboteur into a new culture evangelist.
5. Don’t assume: The human race functions to a great extent on various sets of unconscious assumptions. In the workplace people tend to assume that people with similar educations, experience levels, positions, etc., have similar mindsets, attitudes and philosophies. The next assumption is that based on those similarities everybody would create similar cultures; the third assumption is that the first 2 guarantee people’s willingness to buy into the vision. Predicating acceptance of cultural change on the assumption of deep, unproven commonality is a recipe for disaster.
6. Don’t overwhelm the troops: Whether you are changing an entire corporation (Gerstner and IBM), creating a culture for your startup, tweaking it within your department or group, or revamping it in your small business, recognize that you can’t just come in, make an announcement and expect people to buy into the vision. Present it in small bite-size pieces and in such a way that people feel they have input in the process, thus creating a strong feeling of ownership. Better yet, listen to the input and adjust if it makes sense.
7. Communicate and sell—don’t order and tell! Even if your goal is a truly collaborative, nurturing culture that challenges and then helps people to realize their full potential you can’t just walk in on Monday and announce that that’s the way it will be from then on.

• First, it’s unlikely that anybody will believe you (talk’s cheap);
• second, if you’re new it’s unlikely they’ll trust you (no track record with them); and
• third, whether you’re proposing a radically different culture or just fine tuning the current one they have no reason to get on the bandwagon if it means changing.

In the final analysis what you do will carry far more weight than anything you say about your culture.

It boils down to your having the courage to walk your talk.

Image credit: Svadilfari on flickr

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I love George Bernard Shaw; he was brilliant and had a rapier wit with which he skewered deserving people, ideas and situations, while supplying pithy commentary on the events of his time as well as inspirational ideas.

Some of the things he said have passed into such common usage that few people even realize they are quotes. How many times have you seen this on cards, plaques and samplers?

“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’”

Sound familiar? It’s a favorite of mine; in fact, I have it on my office wall.

So I went looking for a few of the more esoteric Shawisms.

The first is an important heads-up for all of us, but especially anyone in a leadership role; you might even find that it accurately describes the problems you’re having.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

Progress is something that both people and business expend great effort to do; what we often forget is that progress means things will be different.

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

Because we progress we are all constantly changing, but too often people don’t take the time to find out who you are now; Shaw sums the problem and solution up in just a few words.

“The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them”

Collaboration boosts progress; Shaw understood this and explained why it’s so important.

“If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.”

Progress requires innovation, but real progress requires thinking as opposed to rephrasing previous ideas to sound new, but if Shaw was correct it accounts for the lack of progress in so many areas.

“Two percent of the people think; three percent of the people think they think; and ninety-five percent of the people would rather die than think.”

Those who don’t think often lean on ideology to support their agenda. The problem with ideology is that it doesn’t lend itself to seeing another’s world-view. Shaw understood how ridiculous this was.

“The frontier between hell and heaven is only the difference between two ways of looking at things.”

My last choice is one I would like to apply to all politicians and educators. Perhaps, if we did, it would significantly improve the quality of those who claim to serve. (Hmm, it probably wouldn’t hurt to apply it to everybody else, too, including yours truly.)

“We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence…on pain of liquidation.”

Image credit: Wikimedia Commons

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Do you get a lot of spam? Mine is well filtered, but I still have to glance through the junk file to be sure that nothing important was inadvertently caught.

If spam is any guide it seems that Americans sex and meds dominate the American psyche.

Recently I noticed this subject line: Feel 10 years younger in bed today. I’m sure you can guess what product was being hyped.

However, that’s not what hit me and I’ll bet most of you will agree with my reaction—I’d much rather feel 10 years younger out of bed.

Around this time of year I hear from a lot of people looking for answers to the question: How do I keep going? And I’ve heard variations year in and year out, whether the economy is up or down.

Most of the people who ask aren’t down or depressed; rather they are in jobs they like, in line for, or just gotten, a promotion, have kids they are proud of, spouses they love, but still they ask.

They ask because they are tired, not exhausted, but tired, mentally and physically.

So much to do in too few hours; so many balls to keep in the air.

So a pill that made people feel 10 years younger would be worth billions.

There is no pill, but there is something that helps—declutter.

Not your home, but your world.

Prioritize. Decide what truly matters to you and how that fits with others in your world.

Once you have your list start eliminating everything that’s not a true priority.

I’m usually told that they’ve done all that, but it turns out they still Twitter, spend a couple of hours on Facebook and follow hundreds of blogs,

When I hear this I tell them to start again at the beginning and use the thunderbolt screening method. That means looking at each item and deciding if you’ll be struck by a thunderbolt if you stop doing whatever.

For example, you are more likely to be hit with one if you miss your daughter’s soccor game than if you read your email a couple of hours later or don’t update your Facebook wall.

I’m not being fatuous, I’ve seen folks who had them reversed.

If you have trouble with ruthlessness give me a call at 866. 265.7267 or email miki@rampupsolutions.com and I’ll be happy to help.

Tomorrow is my last post and the end of Leadership Turn, so if you enjoy my views and writing don’t forget to bookmark MAPping Company Success or subscribe via RSS or EMAIL.

Image credit: idarknight on flickr

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