Salvor Harding, a character in Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series, states a great truth when he says, “Violence is the last refuge of incompetence.”

I plagiarized that line and applied it to the business world, especially networking events and came up with this…

Jargon is the next-to-last refuge of incompetence.

But I have to say, people who break my rule sometimes leave me feeling incompetent enough to resort to violence to shut them up.

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Everybody knows that exercise keeps you healthy and flexible.

Turning on a dime is the best exercise to keep your mind healthy and flexible, too.

Flexible is good, because, as everybody knows…

Flexible people never get bent out of shape.

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Do you struggle to remember people and events from the past?

Hazy memories of someone or something that loomed enormous at the time?

The author of this short mantra is unknown. I took the liberty of broadening it to encompass more of life than just people, because, for me, it says something very important about growing and letting go.

There comes a point in your life when you realize
Who/what matters, 
Who/what never did, 
Who/what won’t anymore… 
And who/what always will. 
So, don’t worry about people and events from your past, 
There’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.

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Over the years I’ve heard variations of this rule from the best managers I’ve worked with in every field and across all disciplines and levels.

It’s the wise boss who understands that the only thing more important than hiring someone new is retaining someone you already have.

One would think it’s both simple and obvious, but you can walk into any company of any size and find more managers who don’t practice it than do.

Which are you?

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I was reading a post from Mark Suster and I realized that something he said near the end really encompasses the way I try to live.

Life is an informational interview.

Informational interviews are how you learn; they entail talking to people in different walks of life, different positions and different ways of thinking.

Informational interviews require you to come with an open mind and your listening skills fully engaged.

It’s an approach that should flavor all parts of your MAP—reflect in your mindset, inform your attitude and permeate your philosophy.

Try it; you may be surprised, not only at how much you learn, but also how much fun it is.

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Henry David Thoreau said, “Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.”

I say, “Avoid being either fool.”

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What’s important to you?

How do you want to be remembered when the time comes?

There are as many answers to these questions as there are people, but now and then I see one that really resonates with me and I save it.

And, like the best things we save, I like to share it with my friends.

I hope it resonates for you, too.

Life isn’t about how you survive the storm,

but how you dance in the rain. –Adam Young

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I get a lot of stuff by email from people I know, as do you, and every so often I get something worth sharing here.

I hope you give it some thought before consigning it to the seniors in your life, because the underlying philosophy is valid for you at any age.

I can’t find who wrote it, so we’ll give credit to our old friend Anon, a very prolific fellow—or gal as the case may be.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less grey hair or a flatter belly.  As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio.  I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70′s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love……I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.  They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful.  But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free.  I like the person I have become.  I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.  And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

May you have the courage and strength to live your life on your terms, because in doing so you will truly set yourself free.

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As most of you know, I’m a digital dinosaur by design, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have rules about stuff like Twitter.

To wit…

If you fritter when you Twitter
be a sweetie and skip the tweety.

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I am a ‘why’ person and why is my first reaction to anything that comes my way, no matter the source. It’s not to challenge, just the way my mind works.

When I have no one to ask I tend to creatively come up with the why behind the thought, word or deed. Sometimes I’m right, other times not so much, but it is how I make sense of the world.

‘Why’ is a great way to move forward or challenge prevailing patterns; a way to focus on the underlying dogma in the event it needs to change.

But it is also good to remember that although there is a reason behind everything that happens, reasons do not validate the happening—they do not make [whatever] acceptable.

And that led me to create this Rule.

There is a reason for everything,

but

some reasons are stupid.

Reasons that are, or border on, stupid are reasons to change.

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