Golden Oldies: Are Your Decisions 1-2-3 or 3-2-1?
by Miki Saxon
Poking through 11+ years of posts I find information that’s as useful now as when it was written.
Golden Oldies is a collection of the most relevant and timeless posts during that time.
A comment left on this post said the Navy’s version is “Ship, Shipmate, Self” and I’m sure the sentiment can be found embedded in the cultures of many organizations.
Unfortunately, embedding doesn’t mean complying, especially in these days of overly robust egos
Read other Golden Oldies here.
Ever noticed how some things stay with you? Many years ago, while working as a recruiter, a client VP said,
“Great managers make their decisions first for the sake of their company, second for the sake of their group and third for the sake of themselves.”
That comment comes back every time I read about another business leader whose decisions and choices were made in the opposite order, but presented as being for the good of the company.
Many of them are in jail, but many more either got off or weren’t caught in the first place; they just moved on to another role and are likely still making their decisions the same way.
Most interesting is that many managers who in reality reversed the decision order (3-2-1) see themselves as making them 1-2-3. This ties back to previously cited research showing that most of us aren’t the best evaluators of our own actions.
Basically, the question is how you evaluate your decisions before you make them. What kind of internal yardstick can you create that will assure the most 1-2-3 decisions?
Based on feedback from dozens of 1-2-3 decision-makers the common thread seems to be strong EQ and empathy, combined a high degree of objectivity and self-awareness. So how do you become self-aware and objective?
Let’s start by defining awareness. The modern definition of awareness is “having knowledge,” but the archaic definition of “vigilant” and “watchful” is more applicable.
Raising your awareness is probably most difficult because it requires you to become more objective about yourself and your actions, i.e., learning to see yourself in the third person instead of the first (seeing yourself as others see you).
Most people have some objectivity, e.g., they are able to look at a thing—clothes, jewelry, painting, furniture, house, etc.—and appreciate its beauty without wanting to own it or even actually like it.
Self-awareness is the result of cultivating that kind of third person objectivity and then focusing it on your thoughts, feelings and decisions.
A good way to build your awareness is to start with things. The next time someone asks you if you like their new whatever, stop and think about what you’re really thinking.
Most people subconsciously think about whether they like, are ambivalent or hate it. But the person asking doesn’t want to know if you want to own/wear it, they’re asking about it in terms of themself, so think about it in terms of that person, instead of in terms of yourself—in other words, think about it objectively.
Consciously listen to yourself, hear what you say from the outside, instead absorbing the content from your thoughts. Hear what others say in the context of themselves, rather than your own context.
Be sure to develop your objective side without losing the subjective one and, most importantly, be aware of which is which.
The ability to listen objectively to your own thinking is awareness and it acts as an unconscious warning system, only kicking into action when needed, not editing every comment, every move, all the time.
Image credit: Preston Rhea
