Ryan’s Journal: A Decade in the Making
by Ryan PewIt can be helpful to look at our past and see the progress we have made. There are also times when a significant event occurred that prompts you to remember it forever. It can be a turning point, a watershed moment or a placeholder of things to come.
Ten years ago on May 2nd, 2008 I was on patrol in Fallujah, Iraq as a US Marine. By this point I had been in the country for about three months and was starting to feel more comfortable with my surroundings and what our role was. I was one member of a 100 member Marine Company and we were tasked to provide security within a given geography. Our Company was made up of six squads. Each squad would have its own mission and area to patrol.
That evening was very similar to most. Our missions were at night so we would not disturb the local population. Typically we would have a late lunch, go into a conference room to discuss the mission for that evening and head out around 8 PM. During the mission briefings all the squads were together, we would meet up and tell each other to be safe, go out separate ways, and meet back in the morning to debrief
While we were on patrol that evening around 1 am in the morning I looked into the night sky to see flares floating down on parachutes about a half mile from my location. Typically this was done to provide light to an area when needed. I remember actually thinking it was rather beautiful. Each flare lasted about 5 minutes before going out and another would take its place. Unbeknownst to me at the time was the purpose of the flares.
When my squad returned in the morning something was off. There were somber faces and I saw our chaplain. As a Marine when you see the chaplain you know something is wrong. We were called into the briefing room and I saw grown men crying. These were hardened Marines who had seen a lot. It was then that we were told the news.
While on patrol during the night four Marines in our sister squad were killed when their Humvee rolled over an improvised explosive device, an IED. The purpose of those flares the night before were to provide light to my fellow Marines so they could recover what was left of the bodies.
That night was a watershed moment for me. I won’t claim I became my best self after; I didn’t. However I use it as a bookend and a beginning.
Ten years later I am a father to three beautiful girls and married to my best friend. I get to travel, I get to help people and I get to live.
For a long time I carried some measure of survivors guilt. Maybe I still do, but I also carry hope with me.
Will every day be my best? Absolutely not. Will I always make the right decision and honor the memory of my friends? No, I won’t. But I do know that I can make a choice everyday, while those four cannot.
I remember them as friends and companions. Mentors and leaders. Fragile and strong at the same time.
You are not forgotten and we will see each other again.
Until Valhalla —
Sgt. Glenn E. Martinez
Cpl. Miguel A. Guzman
Lcpl. James F. Kimple
Lcpl. Casey L. Casanova
Image credit: Richard Potts