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Oddball Facts: Epitaphs

by Miki Saxon

Untitledattachment00043Personally, I’m big on cremation, but I do find great amusement cruising cemeteries and checking out what’s written on the headstones. I lost my collection during my last move, but found a few on the Net; nothing like what I had, but still good for a smile and even a giggle.

Way back in the 1600s John Dryden put this couplet on his wife’s grave; it’s doubtful that any woman of that time would dare put it on her husband’s, but I think these days it fits just as well for the guys.

Here lies my wife: here let her lie!
Now she’s at rest, and so am I.

The subject of food seems to be a major focus as displayed by these three,

Here lies old Rastus Sominy
Died a-eating hominy
In 1859 anno domini

Eliza, Sorrowing
Rears This Marble Slab
To Her Dear John
Who Died of Eating Crab.

Beneath this stone, a lump of clay,
Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt.
Who died one morning just at ten
And saved a dinner by it.

In some cases, it’s imperative that your expertise extends to your profession.

He was a good husband;
a wonderful father,
but a bad electrician.

Some assume bad habits persist into the next life.

Rest in Peace,
Now you are in Lord’s arms.
Lord, watch your wallet.

Finally, we have the man of few words.

Once I wasn’t
Then I was
Now I ain’t again.

Flickr image credit: Fun Pic

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