Influence
by Miki SaxonAsk people why they blog or “work” social media and you’ll eventually hear that they want to “build their influence” or “extend their reputation and have more influence.”
Much of the commentary around “leadership” cites “vision” and “influence” as hallmarks of a leader.
I know these terms have made me vaguely uncomfortable, but didn’t pin the reason down until recently.
The pinning came during a conversation I had with a client. She was looking for ways to increase her influence with her team. When I asked her the specifics of what she wanted to accomplish she said that she wanted to lead them to do things differently.
Long story short, after more discussion the bottom line was she felt that having more influence would mean that her people would do things her way.
Add that to a recent comment by a blogger that he blogs to share his knowledge and influence people and I had my ah-ha moment for identifying all the vague discomfort I feel when I hear that word.
The definition of influence is the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others.
Notice there is nothing that states the effect is to homogenize others with yourself, although most people see that as implied.
Perhaps I’m an anomaly because I see influence as a goad; a goad that drives people to think, reconsider, reformulate and possibly change along lines they consciously choose as opposed to blindly adopting thoughts/ideas/attitudes/actions—whether mine or someone else’s.
What do you think about influence?
Image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/arenamontanus/269431673/
January 7th, 2011 at 1:26 pm
I believe your definition of influence is the more accurate definition. Ego comes into play when you use the word influence to mean – to pursuade people to do it my way. There is usually more than one way to get results and it would be nice if leaders acknowledge that fact.
January 7th, 2011 at 1:44 pm
Hi Julie,you are so right. Ego is the prime mover and it’s either getting worse or is just more overt/obvious. It sometimes seems that ‘my way’ is more important than getting the job done or doing it well.
I think it partly stems from insecurity, what do you think?
January 7th, 2011 at 2:53 pm
You may be correct about insecurity being a factor or perhaps the fact that most of us are guilty of giving in and giving our children what ever they want so they grow up believing that what they think must be right since that view is always reinforced. I know I am guilty of having done this!
January 7th, 2011 at 3:02 pm
I compliment you on actually feeling guilty. Most parents I know don’t, that’s why there is so much entitlement out there.
Sadly, entitlement and insecurity make for a potent accelerant in the ‘my way’ attitude.
January 7th, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Well I grew up what I would now consider ‘poor’ though we always had cloths, food and shelter. My parents pulled no punches – life isn’t easy, life isn’t fair and you have to work hard to get ahead. I did give my daughter some of that instruction also – she has some common sense – but I didn’t want her to suffer when I got divorced – I’m sure a lot of parents can relate to that – so if I could cut back on something else or charge it I gave her more than I had because I wanted her to fit in and have the same that everyone else had and now we perpetuate the problem with her daughter I’m afraid – we never learn do we, lol?
January 7th, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Julie, I don’t know your daughter, but she doesn’t sound particularly entitled. I did the same for my nieces and I know they didn’t have that mindset.
I think entitlement is more of a MAP thing than a material one. It’s not so much about being given the stuff to fit in, but to understand that their relatives busted their butts to provide it because they understand about fitting in as opposed to thinking they get it because on a cosmic plane they are entitled to it. Big difference there.
January 12th, 2011 at 5:08 am
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