When Managers are Us vs. Them
by Miki Saxon
There is a major disconnect for many managers between what they think others do, what they say they do and what actually happens. It is a disconnect that affects not just their own teams, but spreads like ripples in a pond when a stone is tossed.
Most managers are unaware of it and are horrified when it’s brought to their attention—once they stop trying to rationalize it.
‘It’ refers to deeds and actions they condemn in others, but practice themselves.
It the idea that when ‘they’ do it it is unfair, immoral, or illegal, but if ‘we’ do it it’s OK—and it’s happening everywhere.
We see it in
- political and religious leaders who preach high moral codes while practicing immorality;
- parents who demand better education and then condemn any teacher that doesn’t give their child a good grade;
- business leaders who preach ethics and practice them only as long as it’s convenient;
- colleagues we condemn for filching company supplies even as we use company time to shop, update Facebook and Twitter; and
- friends who, much to our dismay, share our private information even as we share someone else’s.
When managers do it it can damage, even destroy, the team, because it is a form of hypocrisy; hypocrisy kills trust and without trust there is no team.
A vicious circle that only the manager can break by listening carefully to the feedback she doesn’t want to hear.
Image credit: ravasolix on sxc.hu
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April 13th, 2010 at 7:14 pm
I think much of what seems like hypocrisy in managers (or people in general) may be blind spots. People may just be “projecting” onto others what they can’t see in themselves.
April 13th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
Hi Imelda, I agree that there are blind spots, but rather than projecting I think the blind spot is about doing themselves what they condemn in others and not realizing it.
Of course, the problem is that whatever it stems from the result is the same—a loss of trust and trust, whether in the workplace or outside it, is the glue that holds everything together.
Thanks for stopping by and adding to the conversation.
August 23rd, 2010 at 7:37 am
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