Are you an unconscious bigot?
by Miki SaxonSmells are said to be a major source of memories and anchor them in our mind; that’s what writing does for me, it reminds me of things that have happened.
My earlier post reminded me of an uncomfortable time I had with a brilliant manager, uncomfortable because I had to help her see the unconscious bigotry in her own and her team’s actions—one of the most diverse in the company.
Huh? How could someone who had recruited, hired, built, and retained a multi-ethnic group composed of both gay and straight, and including a variety of religions, be a bigot? How could that diverse a team be bigoted? And how in the world would it be noticeable to an outsider (me)?
It’s simple, and can be summed up in the current lexicon as, “It’s the jokes, stupid.”
I don’t mean telling overtly bigoted <fill in the subject> jokes, I mean sharing those ubiquitous Internet jokes and cartoons about Polish/Irish/Black/Southern/blonde/fat/old/young/etc.
Sure, some are funny, and I’ve passed along my share, but as intolerance has grown greater in recent years, I find myself deleting more and more of them. Not because I’m some kind of saint, but rather because I change the reference to one that applies to me or a good friend and then see if it’s still funny. If it is, I send it on, if not, I delete it.
Many years ago, I knew a woman who was always telling me religious jokes (yes, they were funny). We laughed a lot at them, so one day when she was over I played The Vatican Rag from my favorite Tom Lehrer album, That Was The Week That Was.
She went up like a Roman candle, we’re talking totally ballistic, screaming about sacrilege and words of the devil, etc. Now, this was someone who never went to church or mentioned being Catholic in the six or so years that I knew her and told jokes involving, as far as I remembered, every religion.
Obviously, I remembered incorrectly.
And that’s when it hit me, an unconscious bigot is someone willing to joke about “them,” but can’t take a joke about “us.”
September 6th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
That’s an interesting take on bigotry. Now I’m going through the jokes I think are funny in mind and wondering if I’m an unconscious bigot…
September 7th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Miranda, I think in some ways we probably all are and that what’s important is to raise it to conscious level, so we can keep it from impacting us when it shouldn’t. In the long run it’s about how our thoughts influence our actions. That’s what’s really important, since we aren’t to the point of thought police…yet
September 7th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
The thought police might show up soon: http://bloggingprofessional.blogspot.com/2007/09/does-first-amendment-exist-anymore.html
It’s from my personal blog…about my current level of outrage over things political.
September 10th, 2007 at 8:41 am
[…] Are you an unconscious bigot? – Leadership Turn “How could someone who had recruited, hired, built, and retained a multi-ethnic group composed of both gay and straight, and including a variety of religions, be a bigot? How could that diverse a team be bigoted? And how in the world would it be noticeable to an outsider (me)?” […]
September 11th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Eh, I think it’s a little more complicated than that. I mean, jokes take on different layers of meaning depending on who’s telling them — for example, my boyfriend joking about getting back in the kitchen come across a lot differently than another male friend of mine making the same comment. The difference is mostly that I know my beau is a feminist ally and I also know that the other guy has … something of a bitter opinion of most women. It’d also be completely different coming from a stranger, which would weird me out and probably enrage me.
But I think your test is a good general litmus :)
September 11th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Thanks, Sara, and you’re right. I should have added that when on the receiving end one should always consider the source of the comment before evaluating the comment itself.
November 6th, 2007 at 11:34 am
[…] couple of months ago I wrote Are you an unconscious bigot? One of the comments pointed out that what’s funny from one person isn’t funny from […]
June 2nd, 2008 at 3:32 pm
this is just the topic of debate that I recently had. See my blog above!
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Ben, I read through the entire thread and I have to say that I don’t think that they’re truly the same viewpoint.
The woman apparently gave a factual description of what she saw. Your assumption that she was targeting men of color seems to be more of an assumptive reaction than an accurate reading of what she said.
That said, I think the subject is better served by adding a warning that includes ANY lone occupant of ANY color and EITHER sex who hangs out near ANY place where children of ANY age congregate.
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
I dunno about that, Miki. The throwaway sentence “I know, like most of our young men around here” is what makes the racialized description a bit peery to me, as well as her description of the individual as a man of colour based on … the sight of him being led away in handcuffs. It’s part of institutionalised racism that we tend to see more images of people of colour in cuffs than white folk, so it wouldn’t surprise me if she mis-assumed a really tan white guy (I see them all the time in California) to be “either a dark-skinned Hispanic or a light-skinned Black man.” And I’m still kind of curious about that remark about the other young men in the area – is she marking them as potential predators also? She never really seems to clarify what she means there.
While I applaud her for sending out the bulletin, her word choice does strike me as potentially harbouring the usual white racism.
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Sara, Her actual words were, “He was a YOUNG man, mid-twenties, dark skin… I couldn’t tell if he was black or Mexican. He has a mustache and a ball cap, a striped, collared shirt, and jeans. I know, I know… like most of the younger guys around here!”
Granted it would have been better is she’d said “I couldn’t tell if he was black, Mexican or just very tan.”
But I read the “Like most of the younger men…” to refer to “He has a mustache and a ball cap, a striped, collared shirt, and jeans.” not to the racial reference.
However, I do agree that her word choice and writing could improve to better clarify her meaning.
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Mhm. I read her actual words – the ones you’ve said – and she also clarifies later that
“FIRST OF ALL, I saw the man with MY OWN EYES, and HE WAS a DARK SKINNED HISPANIC or a LIGHT SKINNED BLACK MALE. His back was to me.”
It’s not impossible that she saw exactly what she expected to see, given the circumstances. I also feel it necessary to add that even if she had seen his face, it’s not guaranteed that she could have easily ascertained his racial identity, particularly if he were mixed. Assuming him to be a man of colour, and identifying him as such in her bulletin without necessarily having accurate information, plays into cultural stereotypes about moc as hypersexual predators and criminals.
I understand her fear and concern – and I especially understand, all too well, the knee-jerk reaction to make it “not about race” – but Ben’s also got a point. And given the way white people in this country tend to feel about poc (see her friend’s responses to Ben for a pretty clear example), I just wish she’d thought through her bulletin a little more carefully.